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Whelp, I drunkenly entered and walked up the stairs to the second floor in the wrong house before and then tiptoed back downstairs and out once I realized what I had just did. Sadly no sleeping with old ladies, though.
Nope, I’ve never mistakenly walked into a stranger’s house. I’ve certainly passed out drunk a few times, though.
What does it say about me that I’ve never been that drunk.
Damn, now I feel like a total loser.
I was at school when Nixon took away draft deferments for college. Sure enough, I recieved notice to report for duty in Chicago to be inducted in the army. I had so many issues, not the least of which I was gay. On the night of my notice I grabbed a bottle of vodka and a bottle of tomato juice and went on a binge. Two days later my roomate found me in the bushes covered in tomato juice which he thought was blood. He freaked out but I came to.
@4: I trust there were olives, celery, and pickled asparagus spears in the bushes as well.
I really can’t say that I’ve been there. In fact, I’m sure that no drunken sailor has mistakenly passed out in my bed. And, I am not an 80 year-old woman.
I’ve never been close to being there.
I’ve had a drunk almost break down my door because he thought my apartment was his friends’ apartment upstairs he was currently staying in and couldn’t figure out why the key wouldn’t work. Does that count?
My grandfather once accidentally stumbled into bed with with my 80-year-old great grandmother. All hell broke loose when she realized her son-in-law was spooning her.
Why is this story amusing when it’s booze, but would be nasty if it was meth? Alcohol, it’s a hell of a drug.
Admit It, We’ve All Been There
Don’t I know it. I lost count of the number of times my wife has drunkenly wandered into someone else’s bed.
@8: I had almost the same thing happen to me a few months ago. My girlfriend’s INCREDIBLY DRUNK upstairs neighbor tried kicking in her door at 2AM after he couldn’t figure out why his key wasn’t working. I had no idea who he was and called the cops on him. It would be kind of funny…except he never apologized for it.
I had a roommate in college who did this on a regular basis- Once I got a call from a girl who informed me that he had drunkenly walked into her apartment (in the middle of a party, thank god) while completely incoherent. I had to come walk him home, all while he was barefoot and reeking of gasoline for some reason. On another occasion he wandered into what he thought was our house and passed out on the couch, only to be woken up the next morning by the police for trespassing into some poor old woman’s house.
What d’ye do with a drunken sailor?
PUT HIM IN BED WITH A NICE OLD LADY
PUT HIM IN BED WITH A NICE OLD LADY
PUT HIM IN BED WITH A NICE OLD LADY
EAR-LY IN THE MO-ORNIN’!
AWEIGH, HEY, AND UP SHE RISES
WEIGH, HEY, AND UP SHE RISES
WEIGH-HEY, AND UP SHE RISES
EAR-LY IN THE MO-ORNIN’!