Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave mercy!
As you know, I’m always in search of my next “gravy train.” You know, a person or scheme that will make me rich beyond my wildest dreams—although I would never say no to an actual train filled with gravy. Recent gravy trains include my plan to marry a rich old person… but Warren Buffett wasn’t interested. Another involved inventing an app that would notify ice-cream trucks to drive by your house… kind of like an Uber for adult-onset diabetics. But that idea blew up after learning my customer base is primarily morbidly obese 10-year-olds whose parents refuse to further fatten up their kids. HEY, DUMB PARENTS! IT’S NOT MY FAULT ICE CREAM IS DELICIOUS!
Well, I recently stumbled onto a new potential gravy train…