Hillary wins yet another blinking contest.
Hillary wins yet another blinking contest. Joseph Sohm / Shutterstock.com

Well, this is weird. There are more LGBT voters who think that Bernie supports their rights than those who think Hillary is supportive. And yet more LGBTs say they’re voting for Hillary than for Bernie.

What’s going on here? And also, who are those 2 percent of queer voters who say they support Donald Trump, and what terrible self-loathing/performance art could have driven them to say such a thing?

The source of this data is the firm Community Marketing & Insights, which just asked 563 queers how they’ll be voting. Opinion is roughly split between the two Democrats, with a slight edge for Hillary: she gets 48 percent of the vote, with 41 percent going to Bernie. Donald gets 2 percent, somehow, and Marco Rubio gets 1 percent.

I’m still really hung up on those respondents who say they’ll support a Republican. I get that there are, against all odds, gay Republicans. It’s a thing that happens and we all just have to accept that it doesn’t make sense. But I’m just so curious about their mental state when they say “oh yeah definitely Marco Rubio, one hundred percent, the guy who said that queer parents are a ‘social experiment’ and said married same-sex couples should be deported, and also did fundraising for a pray-away-the-gay club. He really gets me!”

Hillary’s slight edge may be due in part to her endorsement from the Human Rights Campaign, which drew a lot of consternation from the Bernie camp. Maybe it’s because she’s just been more famous for longer, and has better name recognition. Maybe it’s because gay men are obsessed with powerful women and that Hillary-texting meme captured our imaginations.

Or maybe, and I’m just guessing here, it’s because of her list of policies to improve the lives of queer people is three times longer than Bernie’s.

Bernie’s list is good, but has just seven points, mostly dealing with nondiscrimination and health. That’s nice!

But Hillary’s list is even longer, and includes a few items that Bernie’s doesn’t: ending pray-away-the-gay torture camps, revising the old discharge records of queer soldiers and welcoming trans people in the Army, eliminating laws that prevent LGBTs from adopting, and so on.

I know, I know, quantity isn’t the same as quality. And campaign promises mean mostly nothing. But Hillary’s people seem to have done a bit more homework when it comes to these issues, and that could explain why voters are slightly more energized by her over Bernie.

Some other findings from the survey are a bit less surprising: 98 percent said that “supporting LGBT civil rights” was very or somewhat important, and 96 percent said “addressing racism/racial inequality in the U.S.” was very or somewhat important. So that’s nice.

And of course, there’s virtually no support for Republicans among respondents.

“Republicans perhaps could connect with LGBTs on issues like the economy, taxation, and influence of government in private lives, but instead have chosen policies not supportive of LGBT Americans,” said David Paisley, Senior Research Director at Community Marketing & Insights.

Haha, no no no, Republicans cannot connect with us on issues like the economy or taxation. That’s like putting out a buffet of rancid meat and saying, “But the dipping sauce is fresh.”

Republicans have already decided that they do not wish to “connect” with LGBTs in any way other than trying to punch us in the face. I don’t care how great their economic plans are — and I’m pretty sure those plans are lousy anyway — it’s pretty hard to forget that they don’t want us to have secure housing, employment, families, or citizenship.

Matt Baume covered geek culture, queer news, and city infrastructure, and would leap at the flimsiest of excuses to write about furries. A writer, podcaster, and videomaker, he resides on Capitol Hill...