Readers and listeners send me smart emails—and sometimes very good advice—for other readers and listeners. There are comments threads on every column posted to www.thestranger.com (and on every podcast at www.savagelovecast.com), so most of these emails are from people reading my column in other publications. Since I hate to see anything go to waste—especially good advice—I’m gonna to try posting a selection of these emails to Slog on Thursdays.
So! In response to Man Behind The Cam Girl:
As a former camgirl, my explanation of my work was often about the same (I described mine as online marketing and relationship management). But, after a few years, I went one better: I got a casual, part-time freelance gig. Because camming can be emotionally demanding work, a lot of us hit burnout eventually. Why not spend a couple hours a week writing, editing, coding or doing something else on a freelance or volunteer basis? This path doesn’t just give you something to say at cocktail parties. It also helps you avoid those resume gaps that can show up after many years of adult-oriented work. And, it can lead to a new career path if you ever want to do something else. I do my old part-time gig full-time now. Cam girls are already freelancers, so they know what they need to about time management, motivation, marketing and the like.
Still Freelancing, Just a Different Gig
In response to Curious and Wondering:
In our ageist world, it’s easy to forget that some men over 40 (and under, I dunno) find older women attractive. I for one would love to romp with an artistic intelligent woman over 60. Maybe it’s a fetish; maybe it’s common sense. Most men in their 50s are chasing women half their age. I like those odds. I think if she’s honest and prudent, she could find partners on Craigslist who appreciate her for who she is. Me for one!
Open Minded, Yes!
And in response to a call on a recent Savage Lovecast…
You took a call last week from a guy whose fuck buddy pretended not to notice him in public because he was closeted. I was jolted by your response, because I too have been accused of this very behavior—though I wasn’t actually in the closet—for simple fact that I have a condition called prosopagnosia, facial agnosia, or “face blindness.” Basically, I can’t even recognize my own mom if she’s not exactly where I expect her, never mind that guy mess around with a few times a month. This is not uncommon but awareness of it is, and he might have been talking about me at a point in my life when I was very much out but not yet “out” as out. Thanks doing for the show—I’ve gotten a lot of good from it.
JJ
PS: Facial recognition may have a normal distribution, like most abilities, but has been mainly studied in victims of stroke and head trauma. As far as I’m aware I’ve never suffered either of these. I’ve just always been bad at it.
In response to the pregnant woman who’s husband wanted to taste her breast milk…
My advice to the expectant mother it to tell hubby to wait. The scenario is likely to play out at 3 am when baby is sleeping, FINALLY, and mom is engorged and needs relief. After the first time or two it is not a big deal. The real question is: Can you both be GGG about raising your family with humour and grace.
Please Do Not Use My Name
In response to Fully Understanding Lover’s Longings:
You published a lovely letter by a woman who was learning about her boyfriend’s vore fetish. Having never heard the term “vore” before, reading their letter was a really wonderful surprise! I’ve always had this obsession with pretending to be a ravenously hungry coyote/wolf/husky while having sex, and my partners, while finding it fun, have always thought my kink to be a bit odd. (Asking my partner to put on Easter bunny ears elicited a few laughs, to say the least.) Anyways, I just wanted to send a big thank-you for sharing the letter. It’s a wonderful feeling to learn I’m not the only one who has a thing for carnivorous fauna role play!
Vore Vulture