The mustache has got to be real. Right? Everything else about Murder on the Orient Express—Kenneth Branagh’s stodgy, grandmother-friendly adaptation of Agatha Christie’s 1934 mystery novel—is so sumptuous that there’s no way they would skimp on such an obviously fake-looking mustache, not when it’s plastered to Branagh’s face so prominently.
The cast is overstuffed with prestige, featuring a knight (Derek Jacobi), a dame (Judi Dench), a Depp (Johnny), a Dafoe (Willem), a Daisy (Ridley), and a detective (the amazing and wonderful Olivia Colman). The sets are detailed and geographically consistent, the dramatic mountainous backdrop is computer-enhanced at great expense, and the 70 mm camerawork is fancy-pants as all get out.