"Walking around while my body built another body inside of itself and fed that body off my body was unbelievably tiring." Credit: KATI LACKER

Walking around while my body built another body inside of itself and fed that body off my body was unbelievably tiring.

“Walking around while my body built another body inside of itself and fed that body off my body was unbelievably tiring.” KATI LACKER

There’s an old midwives saying that describes the three trimesters of pregnancy as “dreary,” “cheery,” and “weary.” I wish. That indicates there’s a period between the first trimester (constant illness, relentless mood swings) and the third trimester (when you’re huge and exhausted) that feels good.

I didn’t experience this glittering promised land of a second trimester. All I got were bouts of moodiness, tender breasts, an overactive bladder, and a fatigue that dragged me into a black hole of sleep almost every night.

Walking around while my body built another body inside of itself and fed that body off my body was unbelievably tiring. I had a bruised rib for six weeks. My heightened sense of smell engaged code-red emergency bouts of oh-my-god-I’m-gonna-barf. Normal digestive habits disappeared, replaced with terrible constipation. The worst case of heartburn I’ve ever had came from my one true beverage love, coffee, which I had to give up as a result. And I haven’t even told you about “morning” (all day) sickness. Short version: dry heaves, yellow bile, heartburn after lunch, gagging nausea, indigestion. Eating for two? I could barely eat for one, since pretty much everything I put in my mouth gave me some sort of negative reaction.

Leilani was the managing editor at The Stranger beginning in January of 2017. In addition to her boring administrative duties, she sometimes got to write stuff. She’s also a Phishhead, and doesn’t...