One-uppers: This behavior is especially prevalent in the early months of your first year, but there’s always someone who got way more stoned, way more drunk, fucked way more people, turned in their paper way closer to the deadline, etc. We get it!
The person who walks barefoot around your dorm: Anyone who is actively contributing to the bacterial culture of a shared public space cannot, I repeat, CANNOT, be trusted. This isn’t your house, Becky!
Weirdos who make friends with the campus police: Narc levels absolutely off the charts.
Freshmen who are so concerned with not being alone that they plan whole lives with people they meet the first week: This is a primal response to being in a new place, and it needs to be resisted with every fiber of your being. You will meet other people. Do not commit to going to TJ for spring break just yet.
