Heyo random dude in Post Alley, I’m really sorry I splashed you.
I was driving my friend home after our menial jobs, I didn’t realize how deep that puddle was, I wasn’t really clocking my speed, and I actually meant the apology I yelled at you as I drove past. Based on your language, the puddle must have got you good.
Again, I’m sorry about that. I just never go that way, but I’ve also never gone through the effort of throwing a brick at someone’s window. So, fuck you. I hope every tiny thing you possess is soaked with pisswater, because I have never in my life, with my menial job, thrown a brick at someone’s car.
Fucking congrats on your main character syndrome. Nothing happened to intentionally fuck you up, but you intentionally threw a fucking brick at my car because you got splashed. Boo fucking hoo.
Do you need to get something off your chest? Submit an I, Anonymous and we’ll illustrate it! Send your unsigned rant, love letter, confession, or accusation to ianonymous@thestranger.com. Please remember to change the names of the innocent and the guilty.

Ooo, I liked the halfway plot twist. This I,A was both an apology AND a gripe. Writing was decent enough.
Grade: Solid A.
Agreed @1, wasn’t prepared for the twist, to be fair I’d have tossed a brick at your car too. Solid effort, no notes.
I’m just left here wondering how many loose bricks are running around post alley?
Agreed, great IA. That said, you didn’t indicate if the brick hit your car. If it did and the person you soaked wasn’t obviously indigent, I would have stopped, called the cops, and gotten the damage fixed on their dime. That said, I think it’s hilarious when I see someone get soaked. I know I’m on my toes if walking when it’s raining watching out for such scenarios.
OK, so he part I didn’t get is where did this dude get a brick? Was he carrying it around in his pocket? Or did he rip it up out of he cobblestone? Or did he pull it out of a wall of a building? I mean if you are strong enough to rip a brick from the wall of a building then you are like a super hero guy so why couldn’t you fly over to the car and smash the hood with your mighty fist? Or ran over at super speed and tear the door off the car and pull the dumbshit driver out of the car and fist his ass with your mighty fist? I’m not saying that all IA’s are fake theses days… Wait, No, that’s exactly what I am saying, at least all the fake ones I have sent in that the dummies at the Stranger printed.
when
you Douse
a hod carrier you
can Expect a little Retribution
mind the Puddles
everyone!
Way to maintain the drama. The brick is long gone….