I want to thank everyone who attended our third Savage Love Livestream last Saturday night. Mistress Matisse was our very special guest and we tackled a lot of questions about BDSM over a very lively ninety minutes. We didn’t get to every question—there were so many—but I will now, as promised, power through as many livestream leftovers as I can in this week’s column…
You say people need to be in “good working order” to be in a relationship. What if you will never be in “good working order” because you cope with a mental health condition?
Having a mental health condition isn’t proof a person isn’t or can’t be in good working order; likewise, not having a mental health condition isn’t proof a person is in good working order. I mean, we all know people without mental health conditions who are walking disasters. Now someone with a mental health condition who refuses to get help or to stay on their meds might not be in good enough working order to be in or sustain a relationship. But taking care of ourselves is one of the most important ways we demonstrate that we are, in actual fact, in good enough working order to fuck, date, or marry. Or all three. So far from proving you’re not fit to be in a relationship, having a mental health condition that you’re doing something about—having one or more that you’re actively coping with—is evidence you are good working order.