I’m a cis woman. I had a quasi-relationship with a man last year that only lasted a couple of months. The sex was great, and sexting was always a big part of our connection. Since the breakup, we’ve fluctuated between staying in touch and radio silence, sometimes going months without speaking. During our periods of contact, though, sexting always makes a comeback. It’s hot until the frustration of not actually being able to have sex with him sets in. (We live in different countries now.) My issue is, if it weren’t for the sexting (which he really pushes), I don’t think he would converse with me about life in general. And there are other ways I feel this dynamic is detrimental to my post-breakup life. For example, he is really into cuckolding. He wants to hear about the dates I go on, the other men I have sex with, how they fucked me, etc. It’s fun to tease him and make him jealous by texting him, especially while I’m out with other men, but I wind up feeling like my attention is divided between him and whoever I’m with, sometimes to a point where I can’t come with others because of how distracted I am (by him) and how disconnected I feel (from them).
My Ex’s Sexy Sexts Are Getting Exhausting, Sorta