I’m sorry, dude, but I keep finding your Magnum condom wrappers
around our apartment, and I’ve got something to say: YOU DON’T FUCKING
NEED THEM. I was less drunk than I told you when we had that threesome
with that chick from the UW, and I remember the size of your penis.
Let’s just put it this way: I’m bigger than you and I don’t need
them.
You are my best friend and we share the same apartment as eligible
bachelors, and I wish I could tell you this to your face. There is no
way that chicks are going to be impressed when you stick your
below-average penis in a size large condom. Give it up—there are lots
of things you do have going for you in your life.
Oh and by the way, I’m in love with you. Shhhhh.
Lol, epic!
Reminds me of someone from math class (Alex cosman if you are reading this it’s just not cool to wave your magnum size condoms around and describe your penis to everyone. It smacks of insecurity over a dick that’s probably no more than four inches in length.)