The Devil in Miss Jones is the Friday the 13th of porn. With its virgin suicide, creepy soundtrack, and journeys into
“Hell,” it’s definitely one of the darker films in porn history. Plus
the 1973 original, by infamous Deep Throat director, Gerard
Damiano, has six—count ’em SIX—sequels and remakes. None
can compare to the first, of course, but in 2005, Vivid Entertainment
did its damndest to put a modern spin on the cult classic. Vivid’s
The New Devil in Miss Jones is heady hetero porn for people who
like a little more storyline, and a little more fantasy, with their
onscreen sex. At 105 minutes, it’s too long. It also takes itself too
seriously, getting laughs in places where it shouldn’t be
funny—especially the scene where one overly tanned Nick Manning
looks like a boiled turnip jumping into a swimming pool. It’s
Playboy versus Hustler—but it still has some
shiners. Savanna Samson is super hot in fake-nerd garb, especially her
big white granny panties; Georgina Spelvin, the star of the original,
has a nonsexual cameo as a cute old-lady janitor. And Jenna Jameson
always looks good in a strap-on.

Kelly O—formerly a Stranger staff photographer, music writer, Drunk of the Week columnist, and more!—finished art school and a soul-crushing internship at a corporate advertising agency in Detroit,...