Really, man. Kilts were edgy in 1997, maybe. You’re not hip,
sensitive, culturally aware, or daring just because you wear one. Oh,
and screw your alleged Scottish ancestry. If you weren’t personally
born in or haven’t lived in Scotland, you’re just a drag queen in
plaid. Take off the skirt, Hong Tran. I’m sure someone in my ancestral
line was a felon, but I don’t go around wearing a prison jumpsuit.
Why don’t hotties ever wear kilts at the Scottish Highland Games and
Ren Faire, anyway? Instead, they’re always worn by chubby white guys
with goatees or similar ugly facial hair that they mistakenly believe
makes them look hip, wearing Doctor Who T-shirts or some other
indicator that they still live with their mommies. Ugh.