Okay, youngster. You “Kick Push”-ed last week, now you’re dead set
on going into skate-rap OT with the Pack (who will be
going dummy at Chop Suey on Friday, January 18). Yeah, the
Pack—remember them? Those plucky young dread-shakers from the Bay
who turf-danced all over ’05 in their Vans? Oh yeah hey, “they look
like sneakers,” but they feel like a pump! Or something. Opening up for
this show is… Pittsburgh Slim. YO, WHO THE FUCK IS PITTSBURGH
SLIM? My strictly scientific preliminary research (MySpace) indicates
he’s… I dunno, like some kind of club-ready frat-boy version of
Slug from Atmosphere. Like a less hardcore, glam-free
TRL-ed up Mickey Avalon. Like if your little sister
thought Travis from Gym Class Heroes was too gangsta.
He’s on Def Jam, and if Jay-Z had anything to do with signing
him then good fucking riddance to President Carter; not that I
love the idea of Jermaine Dupri heading up the house that Russ
and Rick built… expect a new superstar child rapper any day now.
Shit, maybe he’s here already! Slimmie’s new album is called
Tastemaker—appropriate, seeing as how I can’t get the
taste of vomit out of my mouth after checking his music. Why in the
hell am I catching heat over liking M.I.A. but nobody even
raises a fucking eyebrow about this dude? Screw you guys! Okay, it’s
not all bad tho. Also opening for this show is Tyga, who’s
apparently from Compton, and Kuddie Mak, who won the first Big
Tunes comp back at the War Room. Kuddie is one of the town’s illest and
most underappreciated talents in the booth and behind the boards. Don’t
sleep.
Also, down the road that same night at Neumo’s is the Artifakt
Graffiti Art Show featuring Scarub of the Living
Legends. Opening up are locals Life Cycle and the New
Law and DJ Sean Cee. To recap: Pittsburgh Slim will not
be at Neumo’s.
If the skate-rap is not your thing, you still gotta hyphenate it
with something… How bout bike-rap? The Cool Kids—perhaps
the only decent act to emerge from the nascent blog/hipster/stupid
clothes-rap universe—are coming to town, specifically the HUB at
the University of Washington, also on January 18. Non-Dawgs head there
early, ’cause if you’re like my old ass, you’re gonna get lost as a
bitch trying to find the HUB every time. You don’t wanna miss One Be
Lo—his best LP yet, R.E.B.I.R.T.H. is in stores
now—or the homegrown stylings of Dyme Def. Peep
Brainstorm, S.E.V. and Fearce Villain side-by-side
with Kids Chuck and Mikey and tell me who brings it
harder. (Safe money’s on Renton’s favorite sons, son.) See? The kids
are alright.
Don’t be daunted by the state of hip-pop; on Saturday,
January 19, get a full dose of the good stuff. Hit the Vera Project for
the Massive Monkees League Tournament B-Boy Jam. Observe experts
of the culture doing what they do best in a controlled setting. Relax
and take notes. 