The invitation I receive for this “party and cabaret birthday
party” is full of pseudonyms—Agent Rhinestone, Anita Goodman,
Sparkle—and my first impression is that this party will be full
of eccentric nerds. I walk around the outside of the apartment building
at 9:30 p.m. and listen for party noise. Nothing. No one is on the
porch, and the door is closed. I decide to come back later.
Arriving again around 11:00 p.m., I’m scolded by partygoers for
missing their cabaret show, for which they had transformed the living
room into a beautiful stage. The eccentric nerds, it turns out, are
actually a swarm of professional cabaret and burlesque dancers celebrating the birthday of Melissa, aka Double Oh Sassy. The booze
flows mightily, and the dance floor becomes a sweaty mess of women in
frilly underwear. There’s a boyish girl in a Cub Scout uniform making
out with a transsexual man on the couch. The man of the house, Sam, is
wearing bright-red leather pants, and at one point he rips off his
undershirt like the Hulk. He says, “I build houses, I can pull your
truck out of the mud, and I’m trained in ballet.”
Like any great party, the dancing rages on into the early hours of
the morning. It kills me to leave the dance floor, surrounded by
scantily clad beautiful women, offering me all the alcohol I can drink.
Alas, I must go home and sleep. I have to be careful not to become a
workaholic.
Want to tell The Stranger music intern, “Those pants are
doing great things for your penis” at your party? E-mail
the
date, place, time, and party details to
partycrasher@thestranger.com.