Description: This Ballard classic is a combination yacht
club, dive bar, and pull-tab emporium, beloved for its no-frills
atmosphere and affordable fare.

Decor: Emerald green walls, nautical photography, and a
depiction of two charmingly deformed mermaids burned into wood.

Creepy mermaid lore: According to Japanese legend, those who
eat the flesh of a mermaid will become immortal.

Happy hours: 11 am–2 am.

Perpetual drink specials: The 34-ounce Slooper-size mugs cost
just $4 (Bud, Bud Lite, Rainier), $5.75 (Strongbow Cider, Maritime
Pacific), or $6.50 (Stella Artois).

Perpetual food specials: Cheeseburger ($5.50), mozzarella
sticks ($4.75), and available Mon and Fri evenings, the intimidatingly
underpriced top-sirloin-steak dinner ($10).

Marti Jonjak—The Stranger’s fashion columnist—has a technical degree in apparel design and works in the garment industry. Her treasured casual-wear aesthetic is both glamorous and trashy, suggesting...