315 Seneca St, 623-5110
Free microwaved crispy burritos, Mon–Fri 4:30–7 pm.
Bernard’s on Seneca has free microwaved crispy burritos, but they’re
hidden in the dark and the bartender will tell you they don’t exist.
Then she’ll read a supermarket mystery novel in front of you and
breathe contemptuously. However, food does exist during happy hour at
Bernard’s. You can take as many trips as you want to the free
microwaved crispy burrito bar, and the bartender probably won’t say
anything to you because she’ll be too busy trying to block out
Bernard’s dark, collapsing Godfather’s Pizza vibe with her book. Go on
and eat a few of the burritos with your $2 (!) rum and Coke. The
bartender will make pained little sighs, as if your very presence is
causing her anguish. Ignore her. Or cover your notebook with your arm
and write, “I feel like the biggest burden ever.” The free
microwaved crispy burritos will be only partially microwaved, so some
parts will be stiff as a stale chip while other parts will wilt as you
bring the burrito to your mouth. Eat four of them, unhappily.
ouch. maybe she just thought you were a douche bag.