Cthulhu has been trumpeted in the pages of The
Stranger for years now: Grant Cogswell is a contributor to our
paper, and the arduous making of the gay-themed horror film has been
painstakingly documented from our film section to a very good making-of
feature by Cogswell two months ago to a 2005 Drunk of the Week cameo
(Tori Spelling sang “Eternal Flame” at the Bus Stop’s karaoke
night).
So it is not without a certain amount of institutional shame that I
admit Cthulhu is a poorly made film with almost no merits. The
“almost” here refers to the cinematography by Sean Kirby, which is, at
times, beautiful.
But everything else is shit. The pacing is awkward, the costumes are
embarrassing, and the dialogue is wooden and just plain dumb. Waggish
critics will probably comment that Tori Spelling puts in the best
performance of the movie, but that’s a lazy zinger: Her acting is
exactly as bad as everyone else’s.
The worst part is that the filmmakers are trying so hard to artfully
transcend the apocalyptic horror genre—to comment, through little
parodies and self-aware digs, that they’re making a “real” movie with
“real” themes—that they wound up producing a horror movie that’s
not in the least bit frightening. Cthulhu is possibly the worst
in a long line of shoddy H. P. Lovecraft film adaptations. It’s a
goddamned shame, is what it is.
Ay chihuahua.
Hey, Dagon wasn’t all bad.
It completely embraces it’s B-movie aesthetic and has some legitimately scary/disturbing moments.
Come on Paul, give a little love to Lovecraft on film.
It sits as #16 on my list of worst movies.
Haha! I’m happy that others agreed with my assessment. It’s too bad that Grant and Dan didn’t listen to me (and many many others) when they were making the movie — but alas, that’s what you get when you put two people who’ve never made a movie (but who think they know everything) in charge of other people’s money — total crap. Wooden dialogue, everything intially shot in long (even emotional scenes that require close ups!), and choosing inexperienced actors to carry a movie? What were they thinking?! I’m just sorry that poor Sean is forced to put this movie on his credits and I’m even sorrier that Chthulu is going to make it that much harder to get a good movie financed in this town. What douches.
‘worked on film’ poster…..are you , by chance , W.H. Pugmire?…I bought your book ‘Fungal Stain and other dreams’ recently…still reading it…if so , much regards!
..Dagon AND From Beyond are pretty solid attempts (given their limited means). Lightyears ahead of Cthulhu, which I hate to say is was one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen (w/o being spiteful!).. Just hoping Del Toro’s Mountain of Madness really does make it to the screen in the next ten years!!
I was going to sit back for all this, but I can’t help myself.
Hey, ‘Worked on Film’, you STILL can’t spell the title right, and I still don’t believe you worked on the movie. I recognize your bullshit from multiple posts over the years. Glad you scanned our IMDB page for everyone’s name this time, though, and didn’t say I was the director or something. Everyone’s input was welcome and often heeded in the making of Cthulhu. Its flaws are pretty limited, actually, for a first project – how many first films get theatrical distribution, anyway? And even though the Seattle critics shot it down, it is enjoying a popular run and critical acclaim in the city to which the old Seattle culture (and all the young people!) has relocated, Portland. Not for everyone, I guess. But certainly for a lot of someones.
Oh Grant…you’re such a douchebag.
Admit your film reeks, Grant. MOVE ON and incorporate your learnings into your next project.
is it bad enough to be good?
It’s bad enough to be good–only in Portland, maybe France.
My dear Youngsters:–
I found CTHULHU, which I saw at ye H. P. Lovecraft Film Festival, an excellent Lovecraftian film. I was expecting to be disappointed, especially with Tori Spelling — and instead I was utterly blown away by her performance. The shot of her tied to ye post in ye water is an amazing cinematic moment. The film has a dark, dense, doom’d aura, and the cinematagraphy is superb. My drag-queen crown is off to yem youngsters who made this eerie film.
To you who bought my book, THE FUNGAL STAIN, thank you for supporting a Cthulhu Mythos author. I hope the book amus’d ye.
Best wishes from Hopfrog, Esq.
My dear Youngsters:–
I found CTHULHU, which I saw at ye H. P. Lovecraft Film Festival, an excellent Lovecraftian film. I was expecting to be disappointed, especially with Tori Spelling — and instead I was utterly blown away by her performance. The shot of her tied to ye post in ye water is an amazing cinematic moment. The film has a dark, dense, doom’d aura, and the cinematagraphy is superb. My drag-queen crown is off to yem youngsters who made this eerie film.
To you who bought my book, THE FUNGAL STAIN, thank you for supporting a Cthulhu Mythos author. I hope the book amus’d ye.
Best wishes from Hopfrog, Esq. (Queer Mormonz Rool Okay)
I saw it at SIFF and was so, so sad that a movie about gay guys and an octopus monster and the end of the world was so overwhelmingly boring. And Grand, congrats on having so ltitle self-confidence that you get your panties in a bunch whenever someone makes fun of your awful, awful movie. “They like it in Portland, which is cooler than Seattle anyway!” Well congrats, get your whining ass down there and stay there. And stop making movies.