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recycling at its finest.
So are they saying that they would rent out our football stadium in the off season to grow foreskins?
Can a man have his own foreskin removed and injected into his own face? How about a woman? How far to go for perfection? Vavelta sounds like Velveeta…mmmmm.
A foreskin the size of a football field? The mind boggles!!!
Now all I can picture is football players struggling to complete a play under the weight of a gigantic sheet of foreskin.
I already lost the battle to avoid any “Hey there, dickface” jokes.
“Smooth as a baby’s dick”
Since the foreskin is apparently so healthy or whatever, why don’t they just leave it on the damn baby?
Now I have “Bohemian Rhapsody” stuck in my head.
“Bris milah — no, we will not let you go! (Let him go!)”
@7
Because of this anecdote:
When I was in grad school in Holland I had a great friend from Sweden, who, like most non-Americans, was uncut. One night as we were drinking beer at his place before he went out on a date, he thought out loud whether or not he should take a shower and clean the cheese out of his dick before potentially going home with this girl later and sticking his cheesy peen in her what have you. Then he reconsidered, stating that he didn’t really like her THAT much, not enough to do her the kindness of de-cheesing his shit, but that he planned on going for gold that night anyway.
Sure, he may be a cheesy dick himself, but he was in almost all measurable ways a really nice and normal guy.
Go ahead and leave that cheese-trapping foreskin on there, it probably won’t do much to change the course of the kid’s life, and a mouthful of lint-y forecheese probably never killed anyone.
Did you hear about the Rabbi in NYC that was arrested for biting off the foreskin of newborns. I’m not joking.
@ jackie treehorn: just reading the words and then imagining “a mouthful of lint-y forecheese” just killed me in itself. i am certain i could not handle the real thing, no matter how beautiful the swedes are.
@9 Should have been using a condom for starters.
Also, he sounds like a slob and an asshole. Who doesn’t clean their genitals on a regular basis? It’s not like it builds up in a couple of minutes, showering properly every day should keep it nice and clean.
@12
Sounds like a confirmation that said cheese does exist and regenerates every 24 hours.
I wonder if this cheese is also rich in fibroblasts.
@9: Jesus. Well, that kills the myth of clean-and-sophisticated Swedes. How hard is it to pull the thing back in the shower? Answer: not at all, unless you are a lazy bastard who doesn’t care about crusty smeg building up.
@14
I think staying clean is easy, I think this was more of a conscious decision to not clean because laziness occasionally trumps courtesy. And I would still consider the average Swede to be cleaner and more sophisticated than the average American. Consider my friend an edge case.
Is there an equivalently curdish pitfall with ladies’ fibroblasts?
Well, as gross as penischeese is, if guys had to remove everything that their partners found repulsive, some guys would be hackin off a lot of shit.
I send them downtown, and they make cops of of them.
This is so unbelievably fraudulent. Just for a start, 1) the cells do not survive and won’t grow in the new recipient, but 2) they could probably trigger an immune reaction of variable intensity (think kidney transplant with an unmatched donor), 3) any number of viruses (HIV; hepatitis A,B,C; herpes; CMV; Epstein-Barr, etc.) could be transmitted, 4) even if their “proprietary cell storage medium” is actually designed to dissolve the donor cells and kill infectious agents, it can’t be 100% effective, 5) any collagen that survives in the injection is just stray protein and will be broken down and removed from the area by the recipient’s immune system. Almost all cosmetic “science” and related advertising is pure bullshit anyway, but works to the tune of billions of dollars a year on a scientifically naive public.
I just lost any respect I might have had for editorial standards at Popular Science. Why isn’t Golob chiming in on this? Is he on vacation or defending his thesis or on the wards or something?
This, of course, reminds me of a joke!
There was a rabbi. This rabbi had three sons. The rabbi was also his neighborhood’s mohel. (For those of you who, like me, are not of the chosen variety, a mohel is the guy who does the cutting at a bris.)
He had been a mohel for over 30 years and was retiring. In that 30 years, he kept every baby foreskin he cut in a series of gallon jars in his attic. He was never sure why, he just did.
His three sons wanted to get him something nice for his retirement. One of them had the idea to take all those fireskins and have the local leathersmith make something nice.
So when the mohel was asleep, his children made off with the jars of foreskins to create a gift.
A month later the rabbi (who is also a mohel) is having his retirement party. Thousands of now-men whom he’d cut as infants paid their respects.
At the end of the party he was wondering why his three sons hadn’t given him a gift yet. Everyone else had and had been very generous.
Finally the oldest came up and gave his father a square box rapped in tissue paper, maybe four inches to a side and about an inch tall.
The rabbi opened it. He liked gifts. Inside was an exquisite leather wallet.
The rabbi was a little disappointed. He said, “After 30 years of serving God you show thanks by giving me a lousy wallet?”
The oldest son took it and started rubbing it vigorously. He said, “But father, it’s special. When you rub it, it becomes a briefcase!”
I apologize for that joke.
Seriously – I just had my first experience with – “the cheesy peen man”. After dating for a month I wanted him to feel really good and…. First time I’ve ever tasted an uncircumcised peen. Yuck, I went from a turned on animal hot 10 to a stone cold turned off -25! He smelled like rotten toe jam with the tanginess of nasty sour belly button fungus. I could not get away fast enough and wanted to gag- even though I’m usually a generous lover.
Wow – how do you tell a guy things are not going to work out because his stench is repulsive down there…? WTF? It is important for me to clean up before sex – especially the first time with someone. I think I’m psychologically damaged from that experience. Do all uncircumcised men smell like that? The whole experience was such a deal breaker. I can’t speak for every American female but if a man wants incredible pleasure from me I’d prefer circumcised all the way!