…and then again she might not. But, hey, anything might be happening. The Center for Sex Positive Culture might be spending your tax dollars throwing sex parties. They probably aren’t but they might be and so long as “might be” is the standard KOMO and Ginter use to determine what news is fit for their 11 o’clock broadcast, we can use the same standard to determine what posts are fit for Slog. Personally? I don’t think Marlee Ginter is [a damn fine journalist]. But we can’t rule it out definitively. I mean, does anyone know where Marlee Ginter is right now?
But if someone out there does know where Marlee is right now, could you ask her to please read this? Because there’s something I want to say to Marlee:
Welcome to Seattle.
According to your bio on KOMO’s website, you arrived in Seattle in August of 2007. Before getting a job at KOMO you worked as a reporter and an anchor at television stations in Gainesville, Florida; Savannah, Georgia; Spartanburg, South Carolina; and Indianapolis, Indiana. Judging from your age and your resume, you’ve moved from place to place, never staying in one city for very long, before you finally wound up here in Seattle a little more than a year ago. So you’re just another one of those rootless, itinerant teevee news reporters who comes and goes—and that’s not your fault. That’s how careers work in your business: a teevee news reporter starts out in a small market, moves on to slightly larger market, and gradually works her way up to a big market.
The downside—for you itinerant teevee news reporters, for us viewers in bigger markets—is that by the time one of you gets a job in a place like Seattle, a big liberal city, you’ve spent a great deal of time living and working in tiny towns, in churchy places, in markets where people don’t have liberal views about sex or sexuality or much of anything else. Before KOMO offered you a job, Marlee, you spent most of your professional life in much smaller and more conservative cities—all but one of them in the South.
Now sex sells, even in smaller markets, and sweeps are sweeps. So teevee news reporters in smaller markets are expected to find and report stories about sex, stories that allow them to show steamy, suggestive video. 
But a teevee news reporter working in a small market—where all teevee news reporters learn their craft—has to be careful to pitch her sex stories so that they play to the prejudices and hypocrisies of viewers in those smaller and more politically conservative markets. Oh, they want to watch sex stories for the same reason we all do—they’re titillating—but they don’t want to admit that they’re watching them to be titillated. So sex stories in smaller markets are presented to the viewers only after they’ve been carefully wrapped in condemnation and outrage: “Look at this disgusting sex club/sex shop/sex haver—isn’t this sex club/sex shop/sex-haver shocking and loathsome? Isn’t this an affront to our community’s values? Now let’s look at this shocking thing some more, shall we? My goodness, isn’t it indecent!”
In a small media market, teevee news reporters frequently file distorted, unfair, sloppily reported pieces about sex stores and sex clubs and people that get caught having sex. Why waste time with, oh, accuracy and fairness and ethics when the point of the piece isn’t the sex toys being sold or the guys getting it on in the rest stops or the tax-exempt status of a sex-related social club. The point is boosting the ratings with a little titillating video and then moving on to weather and the sports. And in small markets teevee news reporters can get away with this, they can shit all over sex stores and clubs and havers with impunity, they beat the fuck out of people who are doing dirty, dirty SECKS!—because in a place like Savannah, Georgia, or Indianapolis, Indiana, it’s extremely unlikely that someone, anyone, is going to come to that person’s or that group’s defense. Because, my goodness, they were doing the SECKS! And SECKS is dirty and shocking!
Welcome to Seattle, Marlee.
Seattle isn’t Georgia or South Carolina. Seattle isn’t just “the mountains and the water.” And it’s not just Starbucks and Microsoft and the Seahawks and the rain. Seattle is also Babeland and the Lusty Lady and “Savage Love” and amateur porn festivals and sex-positive community centers and nude bicyclists and one of the nation’s biggest burlesque scenes. 
When the city of Seattle passed a law crafted to put local strip clubs out of business—and throw local strippers out of work—Seattle residents voted overwhelmingly to repeal it. 
People around here fall into two categories: they’re either pretty progressive about sex, a.k.a. “sex-positive,” or they believe that people who aren’t bothering anyone else should be left the hell alone. If someone wants to open a non-profit club that offers sex education and hosts sex parties, no one around here really cares so long as the sex club is operating legally. 
And the Center, which is operating legally, got on just fine for nine years before you got to town. If there was going to be an outcry about what goes on behind its closed doors—and about its non-profit status—there would’ve been one long before KOMO hired you.
You’re not in a red state anymore, Marlee. You’re free to file sensationalistic stories about sex for KOMO. We certainly sensationalize sex here at the Stranger—but because we think sex is, or should be, sensational. What you can’t peddle here is sex-negative bullshit. And you can’t lie about sex-related businesses or sex-related non-profits with impunity here. You can’t beat up on sex clubs and sex shops the way teevee news reporters in small towns beat up on sex clubs and sex shops. And if you try that crap here, Marlee, you’re going to get some blowback. Because there are too many people here who aren’t embarrassed to be seen coming to the defense of sex clubs or sex shops or sex workers or sex havers. Make a note of it.
Finally, Marlee, I’ve heard through the media grapevine that you’re upset about all this [damn-fine-journalist] stuff on Slog. So let’s make a deal: KOMO has already yanked your story from its website—so why not officially retract the piece and issue an apology to the Center? On air would be great, but in writing would do. We’ll probably yank our obnoxious YouTube videos, and pull down or re-title these posts, whatever you do. Because, hey, we’ve more than made our point. But I still think you need to do the right thing and apologize.
And again, Marlee, welcome to Seattle.
Suddenly, a familiar song. And, you’re off your chair in one, exquisite movement… wondering, searching, sniffing the wind like a dapple deer. Has God heard your little prayer? Will Cinderella dance again? And then, suddenly, the crowds part and there he is: sleek, stylish… radiant with charisma. Bizarrely, he’s on the telephone. But then, so are you. And then he comes towards you… the moves of a jungle cat. Although you quite correctly sense that he is… gay… like most devastatingly handsome single men of his age are, you think… what the hell. Life goes on. Maybe there won’t be marriage… maybe there won’t be sex… but, by God, there’ll be dancing.
Q2) How do I know if a dolphin wants to have sex?
A2) There are various ways a dolphin has of showing that she or he is interested in sex.
Males are probably the easiest to detect. They will swim around, sporting an erection (anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a Bottle-nose), and will have no bones about swimming up to you and placing their member within reach of your hand. If you are in the water, they may rub it along any part of your body, or wrap it around your wrist or ankle. (Dolphin males have a prehensile penis. They can wrap it around objects, and carry them as such.) Their belly will also be pinkish in colour, which also denotes sexual excitement.
Females can be a little harder. The most obvious way a female dolphin has of displaying her sexual interest is the pink-belly effect. Their genitals become very pink and swollen, making the genital region very prominent. They may be restless, or they may be acting as normal. If you are out of the water, they may swim up to you and roll belly up, exposing themselves to you, coupled with pelvic thrusts. If you are in the water, they may press their genitals up against yours, nibble your fingers, nuzzle your crotch, or do pelvic thrusts against you.
Each dolphins way of expressing sexual readiness varies, so the longer you know the dolphin, the better you will detect when they are sexually active.
Q3) What do I do if a dolphin wants to mate with me?
A3) Accept, if possible! I will go through the steps involved with males and females…
The Male:
When a male dolphin is interested in you, about the only thing you can do, if you are male, is to masturbate him. (Unfortunately, I cannot speak for the female of the human species… it seems women just don’t like dolphins enough… so I cannot say for sure if it is safe to mate with them. I would suspect not, due to a dolphins size, but then again, I cannot say for a woman.) WARNING! In the considerations of safety, you should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can come as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death. Unless you are the masochistic type, you will have a hard time explaining your predicament to the doctors in the emergency ward….
A male dolphin’s member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other. Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it’s length. It feels very much like the rest of the dolphin (ie. smooth and rubbery to the touch, but firmer). It doesn’t take long for the male to ejaculate, around 40 seconds to a minute, and this is usually accompanied by either shuddering just prior to ejaculating, and thrusting and tail-arching during ejaculation. The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to keep your face out of the line of fire, or keep his member underwater. You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in an accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship.
The Female:
Well, the females are again a little trickier. There are two courses of action with a female fin: Masturbation, or mating.
Masturbation: Female dolphins, once they show interest in you, can be supported in much the same way as the male, one hand under the fin, supporting her, the other doing the stimulating. The clitoris of the female is located at the top of the genital slit, and is a prominent lump when erect. You can rub this with your finger tips, or lick and suck it, but with the oral aspect, you might end up with a bruised nose as they thrust up into you. You can slide your hand gently into their genital opening, and feel around inside, rubbing gently. They feel warm and muscular inside, their labia like tough, squishy sponge when they are excited. Don’t be surprised if they start to play with your hand inside them. They have very manipulative muscles, and can use them to carry and manipulate objects, including your hand. (They can do things that would make a regular human woman turn green with envy.) Their climax is coupled with stiffening, shuddering, sometimes a lot of thrusting, clinching of the vaginal muscles, and sometimes vocalisation.
Mating: This is harder. Obviously, being human, it is awkward, but not impossible to mate in open water. It is easier to have the dolphin in a shallow area (like the shallows just off the beach) around 1 1/2 to 2 feet deep. This is usually comfortable enough for both the dolphin and you. Gently, you should roll the dolphin on her side, so she is lying belly-towards you. You can prop yourself up on an elbow, and lie belly to belly against her. You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and place the tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested, arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body. There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, thay have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time.
One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a fin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, and show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you. Like a way of saying that this wasn’t just a one night fling. The dolphins appreciate it, and they will want your company more the next time you visit them.
Q4) What diseases can I get from dolphins? Can I give them any?
A4) I have had no experiences with Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STD’s) with dolphins, so I couldn’t rightfully say. I do know, however, that you can pass the Flu between you, along with other respiratory problems. (I got a cold when a dolphin sneezed on me once. It cleared up after a week or so.) You can also pass some skin irritations on to them, if you handle them with chaffed or broken skin. Just like with a human, it is best to BE CLEAN when you handle a dolphin. If you have cuts on your hands, avoid touching them unless you wash with a Betadine surgical scrub prior to handling. This is available from most Veterinary and Surgical suppliers. If you have some disease of some sort, avoid mating, for the dolphins sake. This is a little known area, more so because Zoophilia is considered illegal in many places (which I think is a load of crud, but the law’s the law….)
Q5) Is their any way I can invite a dolphin to be masturbated?
A5) Well, yes. If they are hanging around, but not looking particularly excited, but you are, you can invite them with this way…
Male and Female dolphins can be invited by rolling them on their sides, again, but instead of going straight to the genital slit, rub along their bellies, between their pectoral fins, along the navel, and every once in a while, over the genital slit. If they are responsive, they will show the signs of excitement as described earlier, and you can proceed as usual. If, however, they are not responsive, they will swim away, or turn back upright. DO NOT force the issue with a dolphin! Trying to restrain them will only break their trust in you, and could cause you serious injury. Pat them, stroke them and talk to them lovingly, but do not try anything else. It is best, anyway, to let the dolphin tell you when they are ready. It is far more pleasant, and more fulfilling anyway. And more special.
Q6) Where can I find a dolphin to mate with?
A6) Aquariums are a bad choice, for many reasons. Too public, the dolphins are not in their natural habitat, night visits are impossible, etc etc… some may have external enclosures, which may be accesable, but that is no guarantee. Best thing sometimes is to find a beach or a cove that the dolphins frequent. It takes time to develop a relationship with a dolphin to the point where they will let you mate with them (although some have been as quick as 3 days to acclimatize). Gaining their trust takes time, and you need to visit frequently. This is impossible for some people, I understand, but it is the best way. Sometimes you just need to be in the right place at the right time. I have been extremely lucky on two occasions with wild dolphins, and my current mate is a dolphin who lives in the harbour of my resident city.
Well, I hope this is of use to whoever is interested. One final note. You should love a dolphin, not because of the sexual relief they can provide, but because they are a unique animal, one of the few wild animals that seek the company of man by their own initiative. This is special. Do not abuse it.
About the Author
I first realized I was a Delphinic Zoophile when I was 12 years old, which is when I had my first sexual encounter with a dolphin. This is not that particular occasion, since my first lover was brutally killed in an act of sensless violence that I will never forgive, or forget. She continues to live in my memories, though…
I volunteer with dolphins whenever I get the opportunity. They are special to me, highly intelligent, empathic creatures that are dear to my heart, and are a healing aspect in my life. So it was that I met this particular dolphin, a female bottle nose dolphin, 7 years old, who is residing at my home cities coastal harbour/aquarium.
She is a beautiful dolphin, inquisitive and playful, and more used to human contact than her other, older pod mates. I answer any questions the general public have about dolphins, and spend most of my free time with them, studying and talking with them. I learned through continued contact that each dolphin has a very particular personality and habits, traits useful for differentiating between the fins who are sometimes hard to distinguish on visual markings alone.
In order to avoid the bustle tourists, I usually visit the dolphins at night, illegally I must add, since I am considered to be trespassing. But it is the only time I do not have to be distracted by tourists or the staff. I do not expect to have sex with the dolphins every time I visit them; I am not that sort of person. I spend time with them because they are a relaxing and stabilizing source of peace in an otherwise hectic and unbalanced lifestyle. So it came as a pleasant surprise when this 7-year-old dolphin began to engage in sex-play with me.
I was quite happily swimming around with the dolphins when she suddenly decided to grab my foot with her genital slit. Dolphins have very muscular vaginal orifices, and can use these muscles to manipulate objects and carry them. I stayed still for a while, to see if she was just playing, but she continued to masturbate against my foot, and in the light of the torch I sometimes carry, I could see that her slit had become very pink and had swelled as well. She was aroused!
So, I started to back-paddle with my hands towards a small beached area, partially submerged in the water. A couple of times she pulled me forward into the deeper water, but eventually I got my self to the shallows. I dislodged my foot (Being careful not to pull too hard), and took her gently by a pectoral fin and rubbed her belly just to aclimatize her, I guess. She immediately rolled belly up and started doing pelvic thrusts against the palm of my hand. It was unmistakebly erotic, and by now I was fully aroused.
I stripped off my shorts, and gently pulled her into the shallows until she was lying on her side, her belly facing towards me, half submerged in the water. I nestled myself belly to belly against her, and pressed my member against her genital slit. She immediately arched her body against mine, and took me inside her body, initiating a quick series of muscular contractions with her vaginal muscles. I wrapped my left arm around her body and just held her close while she manipulated me inside her body, until I climaxed barely 2 minutes later. Surprisingly, her body also shuddered against mine, and we spent the next 5 or so minutes just lying together in the shallows, holding each other, enjoying our company and revelling in the fact that we had shared something special together, something very few people can claim to have done.
I get sick seeing everyone trying to destroy this girls career….She is a hard working individual….She is dedicated and ethical. The point that everyone missed is that it is run as a non profit organization. I don’t care about the sex….Is this how our forefathers expected tax dollars to be not payed?….A SEX CENTER