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Fact #1: Children’s letters to God are always entertaining.
Fact #2: First-rate children’s letters to God remain hilarious even if you suspect some may have been written by crafty adults.
See full display of letters at FUnlimited, and thanks for the heads-up, Metafilter.
David Schmader—former weed columnist and Stranger associate editor—is the author of the solo plays Straight and Letter to Axl, which he’s performed in Seattle and across the US. His latest... More by David Schmader
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Valentine’s Day is a pretty good holiday, at least for kids. Remember when all the kids in a class would give valentines to each other? That was fun.
Valentine’s was AWESOME as a kid!
I like how Jonathan is reassuring God about the dinosaurs like God’s all bent out of shape about ’em or something.
Valentine’s SUCKED as a kid. A few girls got all the cards, and ignored mine; and I only got one from the girl who was ordered to write it and wouldn’t talk to me (though I would have keeled over and died if she had).
I imagine Jonathan patting God on the back. “You made the right choice, man. She was no good for you. C’mon, let’s get a juicebox.”
Doesn’t Jonathan know God only created dinosaur fossils to test his faith? Kind of like the WASL. And he FAILED.
Holy CRAP, that is by far the funniest thing I’ve seen all week, and I’ve spent all week watching old Whose Line episodes.
“Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for is a puppy.”
FSCKING CLASSIC.
@3: We were required to bring valentines for everyone in the class, apparently to stop childhood memories like this. Of course I always brought bigger/cooler valentines for the people I liked, to attempt to circumvent the well-meaning rule. At least everyone got candy.
All I ever got was deep emotional scars. I like to run my fingers along them when I’m drunk.
Am I the only one who finds writing letters to God strange? I get writing letters to Santa but letters to God seem open-ended. How do they get delivered anyway? Does “God” write a letter back like Santa’s Christmas Elves used to do stating that he was busy but would do his best?
Dear God, Thanks for letting me use you as an excuse for my cruelty to others. You’re alright!
LOL that kid’s name is Mickey D!!!