I don’t know what your ex-boyfriend ever saw in you. When you
weren’t using his money to suck the fat out of your thighs and squirt
it into your lips, you were scamming on ugly strangers at a bar or
generally acting like a coked-out mess. You weren’t being paranoid when
you worried that all his friends hated you; they wanted you gone long
ago.

Now that he has thankfully wised up and shown you the door, you are
accusing him of pederasty and screeching to anyone who will listen that
you are suing him for the millions you are somehow owed. Listen: He
doesn’t owe you dick. You are a shrill, unemployed harpy with no
redeeming qualities, and in a few years, your life will be as much of a
mess as your nasal cavity. I don’t want to have awkward public run-ins
where I fantasize faking my own death just to get out of the
conversation, so do us all a favor and find your next sugar daddy in
another state. Then we can all forget you ever existed, and you can get
back to playing sit-and-spin with a fire hydrant, or whatever it is
tragically tacky houseboys do with their time. recommended

14 replies on “I, Anonymous”

  3. @E–
    Oh, come now. This is all about Gay Drama(tm), and if you don’t like a little Gay Drama(tm) now & then, what are you doing reading The Stranger?

  5. No. Deeply lame, deeply disappointing. There’s absolutely no vengeful glee in reading this. Somebody’s sleeping at the switch.

  9. Dear dying mother with cancer,

    I hate you and am glad you are dying. Yes, that’s right, you are dying and I am happy about it because you have deluded yourself into thinking that you’re going to be fine even though you aren’t cuz your not doing chemotherapy. Now, this wouldn’t be that bad if you weren’t substituting chemo with naturalistic medicine and trying to constantly shove that fucking bullshit down my throat. I think I might be content if would die and leave me alone. If you aren’t getting my drift let me put it this way, day in and day out all you talk about is how all the food we humans consume is somehow laced with these special god damn properties that are going to give us cancer and kill us. For gods sake, can’t I eat a PB and J without hearing about how I am going to die a premature death. Go fuck yourself bitch. The thing is, people have to die, I am sorry mother but one day you are going to die and sooner then you would like. Stop being so fucking hung up on whats killing you and live your death prone life instead of trying to infect us with your bullshit.

    Sincerely,
    the fruit of your loins

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