A couple weeks ago, we posted instructions on how to get a Book o’ Mormon delivered to your home. The more we order, the more it costs the church. To our delight, once you sign up on the Mormon’s website, they offer to do more than just mail a book—they vow to send two in-the-drawers Mormons to your door. The pair will foist on you a 400-page doorstop, and you get the chance to scold the fresh-faced missionaries for their part in a pyramid-tithing PAC that has foisted its bigotry on millions of Americans.
But, when we posted it, we weren’t certain that signing up would actually summon two young “elders” to the door. But alas, writes Slog reader Zach:
Some time back you posted a call for us all to go to the Mormon’s website and request a book of Mormon just to tax their resources as a group. Well, I did and the Mormon missionaries assigned to Capitol Hill just came over and delivered the book of Mormon.
They were really nice, clean-cut, 19 year old caucasion boys, pretty cute, too. Both boys were dressed quite nicely in crisp suits. We made pleasant talk for about 5 minutes and then I very calmly told them that it was absolutely reprehensible for their church to fund the disenfranchisement of an entire group of people with the Prop 8 stuff in California.
They said, “we have to do what we believe is right and we believe marriage should be reserved for one man and one woman.”
I jokingly thanked them for “letting me yell” at them and they shook my hand and went on their way. The whole episode took about 15 minutes.
They said that only 4 people from Capitol Hill had requested books of Mormon as a result of your post. I thought there would be way more than that.
Maybe if people know that the 2 Mormons who will deliver the book are cute 19-year-old boys they will be more inclined to set up a time to get a free book of Mormon and (at least for me) it really is cathartic to tell them how upsetting and angry their bullshit prop-8 shenanigans are. I checked with the guys and they’re the only 2 Mormons covering ALL of Capitol Hill.
Within minutes of you registering your info on the church’s central website for a free Book of Mormon, the Mormon Church will route a text message to these boy’s phones with your name, address and phone number. The website matches your zip-code with the missionary’s cell phones who are assigned to your zip code. They will call within a day.
If only the gays were this organized.
Thanks,
Zach
It works, it works… For the love of Joseph Smith… IT WORKS! Two 19-year-old Mormon boys will be dispatched by text message. Can the gays be this organized? Yes we can. Thou hast heard the word from Zach: Call unto your domicile two strapping young lads and then unleash their retribution. Anyone who signs up to be a Mormon missionary ought to know that it comes with a payback.
Send them your address. Put on the kettle for their arrival. Go here. Do it now.
Private to people who say luring Mormons to your house to berate their church is juvenile: They started it.
The saddest thing about Mormons is that they think they are perfectly justified in holding themselves well above any non-believer or as they say, gentile. They think African Americans are less than human, and I don’t even think a gay person would register on their “human” scale. Christianity in concept, to me, means loving one another, accepting and caring for one another, not being exclusive and cruel. But even scarier than that is how many Mormons there are in this country and around the world! I can’t wrap my head around how many people buy into their hateful bullshit!
P.S. The guy on that Missionary Calendar had his degree taken away from BYU and was kicked out of the church! They didn’t take anything off but their shirts, but his 4 year degree is now null and void. Not that it could possibly be worth anything anyway. Brigham Young was a self described, “Liar for God” who sanctioned murdering settlers in their covered wagons, (including all the women and children), and then trying to blame it on the local Native Americans! Good God, Mormons! Wake the hell up already!
I went to a BYU TCU basketball game last year a missionary invited me.I been talking with him just to get near thos hot 19 20 year old guys!it was well worth it just to be surrounded by hot mormon guys.anyway at the basketball game.one missionary wore very tight pin strip slacks.he was very cute and had a very nice ASS!I hope one day to be nailed by a mormon boy someday!
It seems to me that some of you are in the wrong…you are treating the Mormons the way Hitler treated the Jews @ first…whats next, camps with gas showers, or how about lets just round them all up & burn them for witchcraft…come on people stop and think before you post. I am a Mormon, I am not brain washed, I had nothing to do with Prop 8, as that was a few choice Mormons in California, and we do not wish bad things to happen to anyone, you really should do some deeper research before you go on a hate campaign…we all know what happens when hate is the only reason…Dr. MLK Jr. Malcolm X, Hitler, Stalin, the settlers and the Indians, how about 9/11, that was all about hate, & the Salem witch trials…our history books are littered with examples of what hate does to people. So just stop & think before you type.
@20 sorry dude, or sister, but no not all sister missionaries are frumpy, is that what the world calls a girl who wont wear a hootchie skirt, & tube top? If so then I am definitely frumpy. Don’t get me wrong, I am definitely not the best Mormon around, & I live right in Utah where most think we are perfect, I smoke & drink alcohol, I never went to BYU, I didn’t go on a mission, & I am not married with 8 kids, but those are just either wives tales, or someone who chose to live that life, give it a rest already, stop hating on a religious group of ppl you don’t know about…or it makes you no better than Hitler.