The city prosecutor’s office has filed misdemeanor assault charges against 25-year-old David Hulton for allegedly striking a bystander with a foam golf ball during a Seattle Urban Golf event in October.
Hulton has proclaimed his innocence and now, another man has admitted to being responsible for the assault.
Will, who is 30 and unemployed, admits to hitting a bystander with a golf ball at the Seattle Urban Golf event and says he doesn’t understand why the case is going to court. “[I]t’s getting hit with a Nerf ball. I mean, maybe he got his cornea scratched or something. It was obviously not malicious.”
Will says he didn’t come forward at the scene of the October 18th incident because “there were two people already in police cars and the officers didn’t want to hear any more from anybody. I just kind of laid low and hung out with the crowd.”
Urban golfers are apparently putting pressure on Will to come forward or help Hulton cover his court costs and Will says he’s offered to provide assistance to Hulton. However, he says he isn’t willing to turn himself in and take the blame. “I don’t see what the point of that would be really,” Will says. “He shouldn’t get in trouble because he didn’t do it and why should I be dragged in to it? I’m not really in a financial position to afford an attorney either. Aside from the hassle, it doesn’t seem like it would be that big of a deal.“
When asked how he feels about Hulton having to deal with court costs and a possible criminal record, Will wasn’t exactly contrite.
“I don’t like it but on the other hand I gotta say I’m pretty sure he can beat it,” Will says, laughing. “I obviously feel bad about it, I want to help him out, but I don’t want to take the rap. If I don’t come forward and he beats the charge then it ends. If I do come forward I’d just end up in court.”
The city attorney’s office was unavailable for comment.
What a fucking worthless jerk.
Will really knows how to help reinforce the image that the SUG are just a bunch of douchebags, doesn’t he?
I remember seeing a gang of urban golfers at The Rosebud that day. It was one of may stops, I presume. Where did the incident occur?
I can’t believe this asshole. Holy fuck.
Laughing? At the lawyer fees he’ll still have to pay? For you not coming forward? You fucking pathetic piece of shit. If you died, I hope to God nobody would care. Absolute human waste.
What a tool.
Dick.
I was at the Maharaja when that gang swung in. They seemed nice enough then. I can’t believe the city is leveling charges. It seems like a waste of city time and taxpayer money.
If only there was some sort of popular widespread local publication that could point it out and try to stymie this whole thing.
Also, note to David Hulton: This blog entry essentially has someone else confessing to the “crime” you’re going to go on trial for. This, you see, is your reasonable doubt. Bring it up in your arraignment and ask the judge to throw out the case. I think that might cause this whole thing to go away — at least for you.
Wow! Will’s an even bigger dick than the dude pressing charges.
Wait, how about the Stranger ID Will and put the whole mess behind us?
On the one hand, David should not be taking this guy’s lumps.
On the other, if I was Will, I sure as fuck wouldn’t volunteer to spend thousands of dollars I don’t have defending myself against a criminal fucking assault charge for accidentally hitting somebody with a goddam nerf ball.
Can we pool some money together to pay for sterilization of Will and the Nerf-in-the-eye-douchebag who is pressing charges? I’m in for $20.
Will .vs. the Aggrieved!
It’s an old fashioned douche-off!
Assholes like Will make this city a scary place to live. He is a part of an amiable looking group of urban golfers dressed in funny clothes playfully going from bar to bar (and probably drink to drink) laughing and enjoying city life. One of them is a dishonest and scared little prick of man who won’t own up to his misdeed and would just let another person take the rather expensive fall. Wasn’t there something like this posted today about how someone of privilege was “almost held accountable” for their crime. Christ, now wonder Will is unemployed. Loser.
Fund raiser: Stranger puts up an online poll – Who’s the larger douche: Will Anonymous or Anonymous Pressing Charges Guy? Costs $1 to vote.
Admit it, Spangenthal, you made this guy up to help out Hulton. Pretty good job, too, almost had me, but really, no functioning 30-yr old could possibly be as much of a staggeringly worthless prick as “Will”.
@15
Huh? You must not live on Capitol Hill.
Will, you are a worthless squirt of piss.
Do you realize that you, an unemployed dumbfuck with nothin to lose, are likely going to cost the person you’re letting take the rap for you his job, his career, several thousands in legal fees, the wages lost for the days he has to spend in court or with his lawyer, and the trauma of being wrung through the “justice” system… all because you don’t want to deal with what would likely be, for an unemployed kid like you, a slap on the wrist?
See, maybe you don’t understand, because you’re a lazy fucker, that when you work in the technology field that even a simple arrest can make it impossible to get work, even if you’ve been proven innocent. Especially for someone in the computer security field.
I know this because I went through it.
See, you might consider what you did when you accidentally hit that guy with a nerf ball as not worth all this mess… and I would agree that it’s laughable to call what happened as criminal…
But letting someone else take the fall for you sure as shit is a crime… just ask me about how fucked up it is to take the fall for some dickhead you don’t even know sometime… ask my family what it was like to go through that hell too, all for some piece of shit who ran off and hid while I rotted in jail.
Do the right thing and just face what’s coming like an man, not like a simpering and rationalizing dipshit.
Oh yeah, and David, I hope you get the chance to sue the everlasting shit out of the SPD for such a blatantly mishandled case of false arrest. I wish you all the best David…
and I wish Will a virulent case of crotchrot… all for the sake of humanity, of course.
@16
I said ‘functioning’.
Will in Seattle is going to jail? That’s great news!
I have a hard time taking this seriously. Even if this dickless wonder happens to be the “right” golfer, there must be plenty of witnesses available from the urban golf league to testify that Hulton isn’t the culprit. Nevertheless, the Will character is a zit on rashy (sp?) butt of humanity.
Again, I find it ridiculous that a dipshit drunk can’t come up with a decent apology to placate an overly sensitive fucktard crying about being hit by a nerfball as well as complete ineptitude of the police who couldn’t diffuse the whole stupid thing instead of putting someone under arrest for being an asshole. Now I get to add the city attorney who is wasting our much-needed tax dollars on what is essentially a bunch of adults acting like the buttholes they are.
It wasn’t Billy or Hulton. Benny the ball-less boy did it! Come on, it doesn’t matter who the “criminal” is here because there isn’t any crime! Someone got hit with a NERF ball, a ball that is intended to be hit into someone! I’ve been hit with thousands of NERF balls and I’m not worse for the wear. Give me a break. This is a non news item.
Hilarious.
And here I would have thought the dudes you meet playing urban golf would be nothing but gentlemen of the finest caliber. Live and learn, I guess.
@21
If stupidity were a crime we’d all be shouting “Attica!”. I can think of a few hypothetical charges, though, public intoxication, reckless endangerment, assembly without permit, whatever. Which isn’t to say this whole thing isn’t unbelievably dumb, it is, and (not knowing their side of the story) whoever escalated things by getting police involved seems like a jerk of the highest order. What’s notable here is the inability of Hulton or Will or the rest of the golfers to just step up and say, hey, we fucked up, things got out of hand, we didn’t predict this, our bad, leaving the guy who got hit’s motivations aside. You know, like decent people.
@19 – this is why I don’t let other Wills use the WiS name … there are so many of us … and we’re all evil (grin)
In defense of Will…
He posted a lengthy public apology on Craigslist. He also apologized to the guy at the scene.
Beyond that, what more can be expected of him?
Should he really have to answer criminal assault charges? Should he really have to spend thousands in legal fees and risk his record and his employability for accidentally hitting someone with a nerf golf ball and then apologizing?
And if the city prosecutor’s office decides to press criminal assault charges over this trivial fucking popcorn fart of a drama, does that make Will morally culpable for them being fucktards? Does will’s ten-cent debt to society automatically become a two-thousand dollar debt to society because the city prosecutor’s office is so incompetent and overbearing?
I don’t think so.
Hmm…
which is worse, taking the rap for a bullshit charge for an accident you caused.
or laughing about letting someone you know get stuck with a bullshit charge for which he had nothing to do with?
Frankly, all personal feelings I might have about this aside, if Will were my friend and laughed about selling someone else up the river for something he did himself, I’d have second thoughts about keeping a “friend” around who’s capable of that to someone they know.
But, hey, that’s me… I value having friends I can actually trust.
I can’t imagine why the “victim” didn’t accept this douchebag’s apology. That said, who the hell is the aggrieved party that he can demand so much attention from the cops and the city attorney’s office? I’ve heard too much anecdotal evidence of the SPD ignoring minor assaults on Capitol Hill that I can’t believe that the guy is just an average shmo.
What crime was committed? It wasn’t intentional assault, so why isn’t this a civil matter? If the prosecutor actually makes this farce go to trial I hope we remember him when he runs for reelection. I’ll be writing his name down on my calendar for sure.
The police were incompetent and overreached in this case. They should be in jail, along with the real perpetrator. I’d like to see these officers get reprimanded for dereliction of duty.
@25 Will the golfer could just own up to being the one who should be wrongfully charged with a crime. He’s letting the police blame some other guy–however unfair that blame may be–because he’s a fucking coward. Yes, it’s expensive and incredibly unfair, but it’s beyond the pale to LET SOMEONE ELSE TAKE THE FALL FOR YOUR ACTIONS. No excuse for that. Will might swing a golf club but he ain’t no real man.
I’m amazed at the burning pyre started by Mr. Poe and inflamed by many of you, defending a guy who was somehow injured by a NERF GOLF BALL.
This douche is raping the city’s attorney’s office for personal profit, and you are defending him against the evil-doer who doesn’t want to get arrested for propelling a NERF GOLF BALL, and accidently hitting a human.
Wow.
@28, good question. Nobody believes that the incident was intentional, and without intent, it isn’t assault. I sure wish the prosecutor’s office would explain themselves on this one.
@31, The issue isn’t the fairness of the assault charge itself, but who actually played a role in the events the police and prosecuter insist on bringing charges over. The system wants a perp, and whether the charges are fair or not, or whether Will thinks they’re fair—to let another go down for him is just wrong.
@24: I hope you’re not that same Will in Seattle who posts at the PI’s website (which I read only when drunk – I swear.) That guy’s a total douche.
@31
Nobody is defending the guy “injured” by the foam ball, you fucking moron.
It’s a question of morality and the answer is Will is an amoral prick.
I think we have a lot of volunteers to get a 150 mph nerf ball swung into their faces. It’s only plastic, it will probably just tickle, right?
For anybody still confused about the Slog consensus, here’s a list of all the players in increasing order of assholery (represented by puckered *’s):
1. Urban golfers in general: assholes **
2. Arrested urban golfer David Hulton: drunken asshole ** 1/2
2. Police who arrested Hulton: incompetent assholes ****
3. King County Prosecutor’s office: taxpayer money-wasting assholes ******
4. Man who called the police about being hit with a Nerf ball: major-league asshole **********
5. Will, who let his friend take the fall for his misdeed: ASTRONOMICAL ASSHOLE ***^10
If Carnivale has taught me anything, it’s that this all sounds like Carnie justice- Doesn’t matter if it’s the right guy, just wheel the cart around him 3 times and let him pick a number between 1 and 6…
This case should be dropped the instant it goes to court. If it isn’t, I surely hope that David takes the city of Seattle to the cleaners. It will be a tax on all of the people in Seattle who think this is actually somehow a good idea.