I will never understand Santa hat porn, or the sexy Santa hat.
Where did the Santa hat even come from? Someone on WikiAnswers asked and got this response:
your moms a- hole
Good one!
But, really: Where did it come from? Wikipedia isn’t helping. Here is a detail from the earliest known drawing of Santa Claus by American Santa-Claus-drawing-popularizer Thomas Nast:
That looks more like your standard ski hat, I guess. But then it got stretched out, nightcap-style, into the floppy, fuzzy thing we see today. And it is not at all sexy. Sexy people can wear it:
All that hay looks awfully scratchy, though.
And I suppose there’s the whole lap-sitting and wish-granting angle, plus there’s the weird accent on the words “naughty” and “nice” that are maybe supposed to be sexy but always seem sort of creepy to me. But listen, porn people: you’ve got a giant, fuzzy floppy hat with a pom-pom on top of your head. Not. Sexy. Now be good little hotties and go put on a pair of bunny ears.
Excuse me, Mister Hottie-Claus, I have just one word to describe your straw/groin situation:
Urticaria
I kinda want to lick Santa’s armpit for the next 27 years.
Hmmmm…..THAT’S Santa? i could easily start believing again….
My Scandinavian friends and relatives all wear — and knit— long pointy caps. It’s a Nordic thing, Paul.
But you’re right—it ain’t sexy, just goofy.
While Coca-Cola didn’t invent the Santa hat it was certainly responsible for cementing into the minds of kids of the pre-TV era.
Back around 100 years ago Santa was seen sometimes in the hat (which was a popular style of winter hat called a “snow cap”) and sometimes wearing a hood. The colors of red with white trim were well established as the colors of Father Christmas, whom Santa evolved from.
Because Santa was already wearing the corporate colors of Coke, it selected a few artists to make point of sale and billboard advertisements that featured Santa giving kids Coke. Because most kids didn’t read newspapers or magazines, this became the defining image of Santa for most kids. These kids grew up and recycled the image.
So Coke didn’t invent the Santa hat, Coke just made it the default headwear for Santa. Not saying it’s good or bad, but there you have it.
The one in the middle makes me feel all Christmassy inside …
Um, Paul?
Santa’s hat isn’t supposed to be sexy. Any more than a nun’s habit or a school uniform is supposed to be sexy. See, the reason some people get a kick out of sexing up something child- or religion-centered is that it involves a kind of reversal and transgression.
It just so happens that you don’t get off on the Santa thing. Me, nuns do nothing for me. So what? If I claimed that meant that a nun’s outfit can never be sexy I’d sound myopic and narrow. Next thing you know I’d be writing for The Stra–
Oh. Well that explains it. Carry on.
I think the stocking cap is supposed to have the long goofy tail so you can wrap it around your neck like a scarf.
yes, yes, yes.
thank you very much.
Paul–
Now you’re not being fair. You’re showing two great examples why the boy will always look hotter than the girl.
Thank you though.
I don’t care what chix have on their head as long as they’re giving it to me.
I think that the Santa hat comes from the Pileus or “freedmens hat” that was worn during the winter solstice celebration of Saturnalia. This hat was traditionally given to slaves when they were granted their freedom, but at winter solstice everybody wore them. The pileus looks exactly like a smurf hat and is also known as a freedom cap. How – or why – Santa ended up wearing one (if he is indeed wearing one) is anybody’s guess. The original St. Nicholas was a greek martyr, but he is usually depicted wearing one of those pope style hats. I can’t find anything to support my crazy freedom-hat claim, but it DOES look kind of like the same kind of hat.
I have more of a problem with hay being sexy.
However that’s not stopping me from wanting to break him in half.
@11: Forum spam confuses me. Forum spam advertising a service where you pay somebody else to play a video game on your behalf, in violation of the game’s Terms of Service and at huge risk of having your account banned while losing your money, though… that just goes straight from “confusing” to “batshit insane”. And while I suspect the Slog regulars have a slightly higher than average proportion of people who can tell a Kaldorei from a Sindorei, Slog is an epic targeting fail.
(Not to mention the fact that most of the power-leveling services are actually fronts for scams that suck your account dry and sell the gold elsewhere. You give them your password, you pay them money, they powerlevel your character… then a month later they log in, sell all your possessions, and mail the proceeds to their extensive network of money-laundering mules. Whee!)
On netflix, you can get a documentary called “The Ascent of Man”. In the part about the stone age, they talk about how people lived before they kept livestock, or learned to heard animals and some of them used to follow the herds. At the time of the documentary (1970’s) there were still people in Sweden and/or Norway called the Lapps who were living that way, following the herds of reindeer and occasionally killing some for food and sometimes cutting the nuts off one to use as a draft animal. I noticed as they were sawing away at the tied-up reindeer’s nutsack that they were all dressed exactly like Santa claus and his elves. I got it from Netflix. It’s a good show, and it leaves no doubt as to where the santa-claus hat comes from.
I love it if the colors were chosen by coca-cola!
Do you gay guys go out of your way to find the fugliest women you can for photos, or does it just come naturally to you?
@16: Paul Constance is not gay.
Happy Holidays!
Thomas Nast, an editorial cartoonist from the 1800’s, is credited, along with Clement Clarke Moore (“A Visit From St. Nicholas”) with solidifying the version of Santa Americans know today. Coca-Cola popularized the image of Santa in red and white, but that was first used by Nast. Nast also created the Democratic donkey and the Republican elephant, as well as Uncle Sam.