I suppose this is obligatory:
Or whatever.
Lindy West was born an unremarkable female baby in Seattle, Washington. The former Stranger writer covered movies, movie stars, exclamation points, lady stuff, large frightening fish, and much, much more.... More by Lindy West
Young troll, there’s no need to feel down.
I said, young troll, pick yourself off the ground.
I said, young troll, ’cause you’re in a new town
There’s no need to be unhappy.
Young troll, there’s a place you can go.
I said, young troll, when you’re short on your dough.
You can stay there, and I’m sure you will find
Many ways to have a good time.
It’s fun to stay at the S-U-L-K.
It’s fun to stay at the S-U-L-K.
They have everything that you need to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the trolls…
It’s fun to stay at the S-U-L-K.
It’s fun to stay at the S-U-L-K.
You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal
You can do whatever you feel …
Young troll, are you listening to me?
I said, young troll, what do you want to be?
I said, young troll, you can make real your dreams.
But you’ve got to know this one thing!
No troll does it all by themself.
I said, young troll, put your pride on the shelf,
And just go there, to the S.U.L.K.
I’m sure they can help you today.
It’s fun to stay at the S-U-L-K.
It’s fun to stay at the S-U-L-K.
They have everything that you need to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the trolls …
It’s fun to stay at the S-U-L-K.
It’s fun to stay at the S-U-L-K.
You can get yourself clean, you can have a good meal,
You can do whatever you feel …
Young troll, I was once in your shoes.
I said, I was down and out with the blues.
I felt no troll cared if I were alive.
I felt the whole world was so jive …
That’s when someone came up to me,
And said, young troll, take a walk up the street.
It’s a place there called the S.U.L.K.
They can start you back on your way.
It’s fun to stay at the S-U-L-K.
It’s fun to stay at the S-U-L-K.
They have everything that you need to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the trolls …
SULK!
It’s fun to stay at the S-U-L-K
Young troll, young troll there’s no need to feel down
Young troll, young troll pick yourself off the ground
S-U-L-K
then just go to the S-U-L-K
young troll, young troll I was once in your shoes
young troll, young troll I said, I was down and out with the blues.
S-U-L-K
HAPPY BOXING DAY, MOTHERFUCKERS!
FROM THE INCREDIBLE SULK!!!!!
And no, I don’t feel like letting it go.
As an employee in the public utilities industry, I want it to be known that the gentleman’s attire is NOT appropriate, and that I will be calling OSHA immediately.
As a big flaming homo, I want it to be known that, yes, I DO giggle every time I use the word “manhole.”
I love you to death.
I love you to death.
I love you to death.
Oh baby.
Til theres nothing left.
I’ll love you to death.
I
Love
You
Repeat ad nauseum for like 7 minutes.
David Hodo is still the best.
How many commenter identities were jacked from New Column!s?
I remember moustache days. Construct this!
Hey! Yes, you. I’ve got a coupla things here I’d like some help with . . .
Dude!
Those are my pants!
For reals!
(good thing I bought new ones at Macy’s today, cause now I’m all out of unripped ones …)
Did anyone find the Village People hot? I mean they looked like a really really nasty night at the Eagle…or worse.