My Philosophy

Wake up and smell the hiphop. Whatever image or olfactory
signature the phrase conjures for you, you know goddamn well that
you’ve seen those shirts everywhere—more than likely a few times
on the backs of the guys who made them, Misters Ryan on a
Mission and his evil twin (j/k) Doug, local
promoters/managers/good-dudes extraordinaire. Such good dudes, in fact,
that for their 30th birthday party they’re throwing a FREE show
(February 19 at Chop Suey) with heavyweights such as Billy the
Fridge, Jay Barz, Cancer Rising, and DJ Marc
Sense. If, however, you’re looking for something off the hill that
night, the funk-loving OhmegaWatts, and DJs 100Proof (myspace.com/dj100proof for
the boomfiya free mixtapes) and Swervewon are doing Basement
Party that same night at Nectar, where you can also expect a great
time.

If I recall correctly, the last time I saw Kool Keith, he had
on a tie and was throwing fried chicken at me—and while
that was undeniably awesome, it was one of the last times I
really cared about the guy. Now listen: I love, respect, and esteem
Keith Thornton as a true hiphop innovator/originator, but honestly, the
unwashed, neckbearded legions of KK fans (not to mention his rather
lackluster post-millennial output) have dissuaded me from hitting one
of his shows for the better part of a decade. But for some reason, I’m
feeling that itch for his brand of awesome one mo’gin, so I’ma be at
Neumos on February 20 to see him, the Let Go, and one of
Seattle’s most bizarre/incredible individuals, the incomparable
Murder Dice. Dice’s hook on “Wu-Tang Breath” off of Sol‘s
album The Ride (get at that) convinced me that he and Sonny
Bonoho should just cut the shit and form a Beyond
Thunderdome R&B supergroup. FYI, I will not be making
any Chris Brown jokes at this time.

While my mind is on some out-the-box shit, I just peeped the
excellent, and very kid-friendly, video for “Count It Off” by the
Saturday Knights; the Sesame Street–inspired clip got me
trying to think of some local hiphop that your kid could get into.
Okay, let’s be real—your kid likes all the same rap about
clubbing and substance abuse (and perhaps even more, all its attendant
dances… the fuck is a “Stanky Leg”?) that you claim to abhor. But
maybe you’d like something more wholesome/weird to feed ’em? How
about a rap album all about animals and shit, fool? I just came
upon Lost Zoo Keys and the Animal Spirits That Haunt Them, the
2007 album by Cleveland transplant Filkoe176. Yeah it’s kinda
old, but I gives not a damn; for some unmistakably superindie
nerd-rap obscura, I was delighted by dude’s sprightly raps about
the duck-billed platypus, three-toed sloth, etc. Kool Keith would
love it. Look, by this point, you already know if you would dig it,
so do the math if you do—otherwise don’t bother me.
Sideways.