Let’s think about this for a moment.
Last Sunday, a gunman walked into the First Baptist Church in Maryville, Ill., near St. Louis, and opened fire, killing pastor Fred Winters. Two congregants were injured as they wrestled him to the ground.
The alleged gunman, Terry Sedlacek, has pleaded not guilty to murder charges.
Now, the pastor’s wife says she’s praying for Sedlacek.
In an exclusive interview with Early Show co-anchor Julie Chen from inside the church Monday, Cindy Winters said she doesn’t even hold any “hard feelings” against Sedlacek.
“I do not have any hatred, or even hard feelings towards him,” she told Chen. “We have been praying for him. One of the first things that my daughter said to me after this happened was, ‘You know, I hope that he comes to learn to love Jesus through all of this.’ We are not angry at all, and we really firmly believe that he can find hope and forgiveness and peace through this, by coming to know Jesus. And we hope that that happens for him.”
How can a human being have no “hard feelings” toward the human who murdered his/her partner? Is all of this an act? Is she in a state of shock? Is this a form of Christian vanity at its most mad (or maddening) point? If she is sane, what I see in Mrs Winter’s statement is not courage in the face of a tragedy but, one, exactly the kind of pride that’s critiqued and rejected in “The Book of Job.” And, two, evidence that she may not even have loved her husband. Only the absence of love could truly cause the absence of hatred in the soul of human going through what is universally recognized as one of the worst imaginable experiences.
Well, she may think he’s “with Jesus” now in their version of the afterlife.
If her hubby beat her to Paradise I could see her being a little annoyed. “That scamp never could wait for dessert!” But if she truly believes her superstitions, then she truly believes he’s rockin’ hard with the big J.
I think she’s crazy, but insanity is just one of many ways to deal with the disappointments Reality brings to us on a daily basis.
Murdering her husband: forgivable
Being a homosexual: damnation
I suspect it’s an attempt to maintain control of grief and anger by clinging to a religious framework. In a world where Jesus is out there waiting to forgive your sins and let you into heaven, the death of a loved one isn’t so bad. The thought may not be rational, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t a reason for her to cling to it.
That being said, you need to reread the Book of Job. This sort of pride is praised there, not rejected.
she is his wife
Forgiveness frees the forgiver from the negative feelings of hate, anger etc.
Until one forgives they are enslaved by those negative feelings.
I’ve said before religion is a mental illness. This proves it.
This is radical real christian forgiveness… something we don’t recognize from most contemporary christianists.
Isn’t this the same forgiveness praised in the amish school massacre from a few years ago?
It strikes me as being in a state of denial more than anything else. That is part of the grief process.
@5 Well said. I’m sure she’s probably not there yet after only a week, but I don’t fault her for trying.
It’s not bad enough that this poor woman lost her husband, but now you have to pour salt in her open wounds by bringing her faith into question? ..By bringing her ways of coping with this loss into question?
Who the fuck are you to do that?
It’s not like she’s hurting anyone with her forgiveness of the murderer.
What is it that you don’t like about yourself that her serenity and peace scares you to the point of ripping her apart in a public forum?
and for the record, no, i’m not a christian
@7
Yes, you are right; the Amish community did reach out and preach forgiveness to the man who killed some of their children. However, I’d argue that the difference here is that the Amish were much more real about it. In interviews they admitted that it was a difficult and ongoing process for them. It was made easier by the fact that that man killed himself, instead of being around to stand trial, etc.
This woman might indeed be able to forgive the man who killed her husband, but at the moment, she seems awfully fake about it. No “hard feelings” please! That sounds like total pretentiousness. What would sound more believable if she said something like “I am very upset about what happened, and it will take awhile, but I hope to work though my feelings and be able to forgive this man some day.”
Uhm. This is what Christians are SUPPOSED to do. whether they do it or not, but turning the other cheek is more less what we are supposedly taught.
Criticizing one of the more beautiful aspects of Christianity is hardly a way to win converts. The whole point of Christianity is to turn the other cheek and to forgive, forgive, forgive (and not hatred and discrimination). The poor woman just lost her husband, and she’s entitled to do as she pleases for awhile. If that includes the willingness to forgive her husband’s killer, so be it.
I am not a Christian, but I would rather react to a crime with the spirit of forgiveness rather than a lust for revenge.
You would really rather the world was full of more hate?
If you want to understand this behavior, read the sermon on the mount.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers and sisters, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”
I agree with #7. This is almost exactly the same as the Amish school murders from a couple years back; what makes it commendable for the Amish to forgive but not the Baptists?
I can’t decide what bothers me the most about this: the possibility that you honestly believe that forgiveness, regardless of how “sincere” it seems, is something to be cast aside and mocked because Jesus is involved (would you feel the same way if it were a secular humanist reaction?), or the fact that you would use said mocking tone in jest in an attempt to rile up the reader base and generate a higher comment count. If it’s the latter, I’m clearly contributing to the problem.
Jesus is a helluva drug.
She probably knew her preacher husband was sleeping with guys.
I agree with #11. It sounds really fake. She was never angry, not even at first? Smells phony to me, at least as phony as when Christians say they’ll pray for you when they find out you’re an atheist, gay, liberal. Anyone with any sense knows what that means.
This woman is crazy, at least partly lying, or the Flanders family does truly exist.
Learning to forgive is the highest form of human morality. Especially if you don’t think anyone goes to a fake heaven or fake hell.
So this lady almost has it right. I just hope she picks up her life and move on.
Maybe she read too many Chick tracts? Seems like the kind of mindset you would see in those…
Why do you use the word “partner”? That word was and is used by Gay Americans because Str8 Americans bar them from marriage.
Once again Gay America supplies a word that str8 America wants and uses because, well it’s now hip.
The poor woman really can’t win either way, can she?
Religion is such a waste of time.
I have forgiven the man who murderer my brother, so I know forgiveness is possible. But it took me more than a week to get there.
I tend to race through the stages of grief until I get to ‘Anger’ then I settle in for a long stay. Forgiving the man who killed my brother freed me from some very destructive impulses.
But, as I said, it took way more than a week for me to be able to do it. Maybe this woman isn’t ‘bragging’ so much as wishing it were true. Little children often believe that saying something makes it so – she might be reaching back to that.
This sounds morbid and wicked, I know, but I can’t help but wonder if her reaction is an indication that she may have had something to do with his murder.
Remind me to tell you when one of my loved ones is murdered, Charles, so you can subject my grief to the same degree of blistering critique in as public a forum as you can manage. After all, the primary purpose of the grieving process is not to offend Charles Mudede, arbiter of emotion. There are no other considerations at all, just so long as you’re happy.
I wouldn’t want you to be offended by my dealing with my own grief in my own way, even if that meant clinging desperately to my personal higher ideals in a way that some blogtard in another state finds somehow objectionable. That wouldn’t do at all, would it?
Oh, and while you’re about it, make sure you bring in the comment crew to really rake me over the coals for daring to come to terms with the murder of someone close to me in a way that you don’t like. I’m sure a snarky blog post is the best way to make sure my responses to a life-destroying tragedy are ‘authentic’ enough for you to take seriously…
…you total and utter cunt.
Charles, speaking as an ardent anti-theist, your speculation/accusation is obscene. Dan, please fire this asshole. There must be someone deserving PI staffer who can write with a bit more intelligence and compassion.