Good News: You can officially get shitfaced in Utah without filling out an application form first.
Bartenders in Utah threw open their doors Wednesday as the state ditched a 40-year-old requirement that customers fill out an application, pay a fee and become a member of a private club before setting foot in a bar.
“It’s 40 years of oppression come to an end,” said Dave Morris, owner of the bar Piper Down in Salt Lake City.
Bad News: Karl Malden is dead at age 97.
Those two bits of news are allegedly unrelated, but we’ll keep digging until we get to the bottom of it.
(Thanks to Slog tipper Alex.)

You live in Utah. You receive word that Karl Malden has just died. What will you do. WHAT WILL YOU DO!
Go to a bar and order a Polygamy Porter, if you have any sense.
I’m sure Karl Malden had to have spent at least some time in Utah. Maybe he even had a drink or two there.
Regardless, goodbye, Karl. Truly an “actor’s actor.”
Are you still limited to 2.5 percent alcoholic beer?
You can pay for your beer in Utah with an American Express travelers check (do they still sell them?)
3: Pretty sure he’s stopped drinking… if you’re talking to Karl.
@ 3 Will: I lived in Utah in 2000 for work & you can only buy beer with no more than up 3.2% alcohol-content in regular grocery stores (you have to go to a state liquor store to get the more potent brew, such as Snowcap or most IPAs).
Additionally, there were pubs that did not require a “private club” membership, but they were limited to serve sub-3.2% beer and no wine nor hard liquor whatsoever. For example, one infamous non “private club” bar about half the size of the Pacific Inn *only* served 89 cent schooners of PBR and deviled eggs. You’d see patrons with *dozens* of schooners lined up in front of them in order to ensure a proper buzz (as much as one can derive a buzz from PBR).
The “private clubs” I patronized did serve the hard stuff, but each bottle had special auto-measuring spouts that basically ensured that you would not get a stiff gin & tonic (*and* you would pay considerably more than normal per drink). Also, when I went to see Murder City Devils at an SLC club, for example, an additional “temporary” membership fee was tacked onto the cover charge (and I had to sign up for said membership as well), unnecessary hoops to jump through just to go see one of my favorite bands.
I sincerely hope the lifting of the “private club” requirement will free some SLC establishments to embrace the freedom to pour away and follow the example of Seattle institutions such as Mecca and Canterbury.
I love it that a state with even more retarded liquor laws than ours has been able to repeal them. That’s amazing news. Utah is a state with organized retardation built into its history like few others, if they can do this, what does that say about us if we can’t reform our ass-ignorant liquor laws?
Oh and I really love it that there’s a bar called “Piper Down”!
Some of the best news ever.