One month after publicly announcing my unhealthy relationship with sugar—in which I admitted to eating nearly a whole cake in one sitting, drinking maple syrup out of the bottle (numerous times), and other things I’m not especially proud of—Christopher Frizzelle shamelessly strutted into the office with a grin, dropping a brown paper bag on my desk.
“Megan, I need you to sample this,” he said, still grinning. In that brown paper bag sat Cupcake Royale’s Deathcake, a small but potent brick of chocolate goodness that was covered by a glistening layer of ganache.
Sigh. My life is so hard.
But, since I’ve been doing pretty well with the whole “don’t eat an entire cake in one sitting thing,” and since I’m still running three miles at least three times a week, I fearlessly accepted the challenge. Brave, I know. I jammed a fork into that cube of chocolate sin and didn’t stop until it was gone—and it was incredible. So incredible, that it was worth tempting fate—worth, perhaps, relapsing back into a life full of bad, sugar-fueled decisions.
The Deathcake hits you in three parts. First, you get a taste of the thin layer of smooth Stumptown Espresso ganache. Then comes a flavorful and familiar moist layer of Cupcake Royale’s chocolate cake (which, if you haven’t tried it lately, is a vast improvement over their old chocolate cake—that was always so crumbly and dry). And then, there at the bottom, is the very thing that, in my opinion, makes the Deathcake as lethally rich as it is—the Theo Chocolate Decadence. What exactly it is, I’m not sure. It’s lighter than a ganache, but it’s heavier than mousse. It’s moist, but it’s not too fudgy. It’s unbelievably rich and whatever it is, it’s not for the fair-weather chocolate fans.
I’ve been craving the Deathcake, the Decadence, ever since I scraped the last bit of it off the red foil paper it sat upon. The Deathcake really could be the death of me; Thank God this shit is only available for two weeks of the year.
The Deathcake will be available January 29th-February 14th for $6.65—”just a penny shy of evil.” But you’ll be able to sample the Deathcake for FREE tonight from 6-8 pm at all four Cupcake Royale locations.
The event will also feature folks from Stumptown Coffee, who’ll be there to pair the Deathcake with their espresso drinks. Because that’s exactly what you need when already pumping a dangerous amount of chocolate into your system, a caffeinated coffee drink to wash it down with and make your heart race even faster.
You can place an order for your Valentine’s Day Deathcake here.
Oh, Megan. *sigh* Why do I read you? I have gestational diabetes. I haven’t had a simple carbohydrate since sometime before Christmas. This post makes my teeth hurt with longing.
Wow, that Christopher Frizzelle sounds like a real asshole. Would he tell someone in AA that they need to sample some of this Maker’s Mark?
I agree with @2. Dick move, Frizzelle.
@2 and @3 Christopher is not an asshole, I promise. I could’ve said no and he would’ve understood. But I wanted to try it. I never said I was cutting out sugar completely and Christopher knows that. I’m just learning how to enjoy it in moderation.
There was a blog post about a blind taste test on a few dozen college students of Isa Chandra Moskowitz’s vegan cupcakes vs Martha Stewart’s animal cupcakes (same type and look). Some couldn’t tell the difference but overall the vegan cupcakes won hands down. Cupcake Royale will always be poorer quality AND more unhealthy until they change their recipes.
(Google it since I don’t want to register)
(Besides, if you want to place blame on anyone, blame Cupcake Royale for making such a fucking delicious treat. The nerve!)
@5
I absolutely refuse to believe a vegan cupcake (without BUTTER! and EGGS!) could be better than anything at Cupcake Royale. And I don’t go there because it’s healthy. Everything in moderation.
@2 – Yes. Yes he would.
sold
Damn…they don’t ship. But…their reasons are good ones… Damn.
Great post. “One penny shy of evil,” hah!
ProTip: Eating an entire Deathcake in one sitting isn’t unlikely to give you a stomachache — it’s just that rich. Love ’em, but try to take care of it in two sittings unless you have an iron gut.
Do you still have to order them in advance, or can you just walk in and buy one now?
Who am I kidding – I’ll be at Cupcake Royale tomorrow in person to find out.
@13 They usually have some at every location, K3, but the closer it gets to Valentine’s Day, the sooner they sell out. So if you wanted one for a specific date, it’s best to order ahead and not risk leaving empty handed.
Plus, I think you get a free Deathcake sticker if you order ahead!
“Decadence” usually refers to a flourless chocolate cake made lighter by beaten eggs folded into a melted chocolate/butter mixture. It’s lighter than fudge but denser than a brownie. I usually serve mine with some raspberry sauce and whipped cream!
I wish I had known that they were sampling it prior to today! I think I’m going to have to get in there to Cupcake Royale and get sinful.
@Cori – That sounds divine.