Meet Matthew Cooke, a Stranger reader who has vowed to do everything The Stranger suggests for the entire month of February. Look for his reports daily on Slog and Line Out. —Eds.
For my very last Stranger task, I was finally asked to go somewhere that wasn’t in Capitol Hill, Downtown, or the University District. I was excited to venture further afield, but there was a problem: They wanted me to go on a Sunday morning.
My Sunday mornings are… how shall I put it? Sacrosanct. The list of acceptable activities is short, and generally involve the couch, the paper, and the TV (a tasty, bacon-y breakfast is also acceptable), especially when I’ve been out late on Saturday watching filthy skin flicks. Furthermore, curling holds no interest for me, though I am vaguely aware of its sudden, Olympics-driven popularity.
An ironic aspect of this Stranger gig is that it made me feel more aware and “plugged in” to the city, yet I was so busy doing the next task I completely missed little things like, oh, the Olympics. I managed to watch maybe a total of four hours’ worth, and have felt totally out of the cultural loop. Every so often, I would overhear baffling references… The Canadian women’s hockey team likes cigars? Bode Miller isn’t a jackass? Johnny Weir is gay? (OK, I knew the answer to that one.) This was all very odd, as I am generally a sports fan and would ordinarily be all over this shit.
Anyway, the curling thing. I had managed to secure soft commitments from a couple friends, and with the promise of drink and food, I was ready to amend my usual Sunday morning routine. Besides, I’m not going to get all the way to the last February task just to blow it off and ruin my perfect (or at least nearly perfect) record. But then the Olympics intervened again in the form of the US-Canada hockey match. My friends bailed on me to attend various hockey-viewing parties, and thus I found myself alone, riding out this last, niggling mile of my February marathon.
So how was it? I can tell you this: It looked cool. I got there too late to actually get on the court (people were already lined up outside the door at 9am), and was feeling too anti-social to play with strangers anyway. When I walked in though, I immediately felt the vibe, like an unpretentious bowling alley. I was perfectly happy to watch, set up as I was with a window seat and a tasty Bloody Mary. I only saw one person fall on his ass, which was disappointing. But he fell hard and it looked painful, so I was satisfied.
Still, I was tired, lonely and a bit cranky. I wish I could say my last Stranger task was majorly kick-ass, but maybe a crappy finale is now a “Yesterday” tradition (if Kyle’s experience at The Tooth Fairy is any indication). Not that this was crappy, per se. Though I was lonesome, I still enjoyed myself. But if you go (there’s another open house happening on March 27th), take friends.
I’ll have one more post tomorrow, during which I’ll pass out awards for best and worst suggestion, and possibly a couple other lists you might find entertaining (best and worst Slog comment?). Be well.
Bzzt.
If you’re not out on the ice, you’re not doing it. You’re not there to drink and watch through glass; you’re there to curl, and sweep, and fall down. Yes, take friends, and DO IT. It’s really fun.
Fell hard, looked hurt, so you were satisfied? I think you may be my dreamboat, Matthew. Thanks for the month, dear boy.
Maybe it would have been majorly kick-ass, rather than crappy, if you’d actually been participating.
You go all the way up and don’t toss a stone down the ice? For shame.
I thought this was a noble effort.
You can visit the GCC anytime if all you want to do is watch. Their leagues are a spectator sport. Not getting on the ice is a serious failure to take advantage of the open house.
“…like an unpretentious bowling alley.”
A tad redundant, no?
fnarf: Damn, son! Did you not read the post? I tried! What was I supposed to do, get there at the crack of dawn? I didn’t know it was going to be that popular.
I have a feeling you wouldn’t last a week doing this; you don’t seem to grasp the difficulties involved. I was up until 2:30am the night before (doing both the Stranger task for Saturday night as well as the ensuing write-up), and you expect me to be at the curling club bright and early the next day? To go curling by myself? Does that sound like fun to you?
Well, it wasn’t fun. In fact, it sucked. But I went anyway, gave it a fair shot, even provided what I think is some valuable information (the need to get there early, the presence of Bloody Marys, etc).
I have to say, while I had a good time with The Stranger thing in general, your brand of judgemental bullshit seriously dampened my enthusiasm.
fnarf, exactly what schmacky said.
Seriously, stop pulling a WiS …. and read the source post.
Matt, I liked your coverage (and fortitude) this month. I don’t know why so many people shit down your neck over some of your posts. I thought the whole point of the exercise was to show that doing something The Stranger suggested every day would indeed kick one’s ass into the ground. Even Kyle Regan, who basically has the optimal lifestyle for this type of project, got pretty worn out by the undertaking. Anyway, I relate and commiserate, man.
@8, I’m sorry if you think I’m attacking you, but what I was saying is that curling is fun, but you didn’t do it. That’s why you didn’t have fun. See how that works? I understand that you were tired and that this adventure has been in some ways a trial, but the plain fact is, you made it sound like curling isn’t fun, when it’s your ordeal that isn’t fun. NOT CURLING.
fnarf, if you didn’t have such a chip on your shoulder about this whole curling thing, you might have noticed how careful I was to NOT make it sound like curling isn’t fun; how the hell would I know…I didn’t get a chace to do it! I believe I was quite clear in fact that it looked pretty cool (for your reference: “I can tell you this: It looked cool.”).
I said I was lonesome and tired and cranky, yes. But I also said this: “Though I was lonesome, I still enjoyed myself.” What the fuck else do you expect me to say? And yes, I used the word “crappy,” but that was clearly in reference to my being there alone, not the curling itself.
Meanwhile, when you write: “You’re not there to drink and watch through glass,” and: “Not getting on the ice is a serious failure to take advantage of the open house,” are you not directly criticizing me? Maybe that’s why I “feel like” you’re attacking me.
Please address your problems with reading comprehension at your earliest opportunity.
If you want to avoid pretension in bowling alleys, by the way, don’t go to the Garage. Try Imperial Lanes down Ranier and 23rd. Bowlers there are there to bowl, not to smugly smirk at the juxtaposition of being so hip and being at a bowling alley.
schmacky, I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed your posts this month! I still can’t believe you made it all the way through – and you have a wife! right on, hat tip to you.
you know, i read a LOT of your posts, but not all, and i have to say, you seemed to convey this feeling of BURDEN and BOTHER so much of the time. you complain like a bitch who doesn’t know how good she has it. except you’re a man. who bitches. the column is a great idea, but they should vet the next writer better. someone with some balls to do this shit without bitching.