Clickety-clack captions are the signature device of Hollywood action movies. They tell us where we are (Destination: Hussein International Airport), what time it is (11:19 p.m.), and other really useful things, like what super-secret government keyboards sound like when pressed, or “clacked” (clack, clack). They also tell you at what caliber the film is operating, which in Green Zone’s case is level Not as Good or Smart or Thrilling as It Thinks It Is and Matt Damon Has a Face Like an Old Man’s Foot and It’s Distracting.
Green Zone pretends to identify itself as a smart man’s action movie, but in reality the clickety-clack captions are a good indication that the film lacks any real political spine. Damon’s foot-faced “chief” is confused right from the get-go where the Hezbollah all these supposed weapons of mass destruction are. Goddamn it, they’re sending him and his men on a gall-danged Easter-egg hunt, and they’re showing up empty-handed! When Chief Foot Face says things like, “You’re wasting my men’s time,” he sounds vaguely Southern, but when Chief Foot Face says things like, “Get your game face on,” he sounds vaguely Bostonian, as in, “Git yeh game face awn.” Come on, Captain Foot Face, do you have to fill the shoes of every archetypal war character?
The plot—outside of the old the-U.S.-government-lied-to-us-even-the-good-guys-and-the-press-is-stupid-and-not-all-Arabs-are-tricky-but-um-they-actually-are-even-the-humble-helpful-gimpy-one-who-hobbles-around-on-an-artificial-leg formula—doesn’t accomplish much in the way of historicity. A vaguely Bushie administrator, played by Greg Kinnear, squints through his conservative-guy glasses as the world is told, “Mission accomplished,” but who his real-life character is supposed to be remains fuzzy. Is he Rumsfeld? And Amy Ryan’s Washington Post journalist—is she standing in for some real-life Gap-wearing journalist? Or, wait, do I care? Answer: no. 
First off- thought of Greenzo the first time I saw the trailer and cracked right the fuck up. Good call.
Have to be honest here…didn’t appreciate Ms. Sagen’s incessant sarcasm in regards to Matt Damon’s aging visage. Found it somewhat juvenile. Disrespectful. Mr. Damon is one of the preeminent icons of our modern popular culture. Of Western Civilization. He deserves far more than a mere comparison to an elderly man’s lower-leg. Come now. He’s a good guy. And he does good work. Both in & out of Hollywood. He’s a genuine humanitarian. He saves lives. He supports organic farming. And biodiesel. It makes me wonder very much if Ms. Sagen was privy to any these worthwhile realities regarding the man. Now yes, Damon is moving on in years. Certainly. Gravity is again making its omnipower known by the affect it’s having upon his famous mug. But we’re all subject to such physical circumstance over time. Even the gigolo Clooney. Anyhow, and this is where it counts, I’m well aware of the critical-literary motif supported by this particular ‘anti-establishment’ weekly, and I usually find it quite enjoyable. It’s a nice breath of youthful, cynical, subversive air. And Ms. Sagen obviously understands such things. It’s also obvious she possesses an acute awareness of the elements that breed real cinema. There is enough evidence within this review to support such truth. But there could’ve been more. More depth of character study. More depth of narrative critique. Instead, the review itself begins to sully, much like the film itself I imagine, as Ms. Sagen’s desire for off-putting sarcastic jabbery, mostly at Damon’s expense, but also at the expense of the kindhearted Ms. Adams, takes the place of genuine filmic discussion. While reading this review, Ms. Sagen reminded me somewhat of the legend herself…a young Pauline Kael. A wit razor-sharp, yet still learning the proper ways to incise…
i wanted to catch this flick… but this review doesn’t even give me enough to form an opinion. regardless, i enjoy a good espionage spy-thriller, but i’m afraid this film may be trying to be the 4th installment of the jason bourne franchise. it’s even directed by paul green grass, who teamed up with damon on part 2 and 3 (the bourne supremacy & the bourne ultimatum). unfortunately those 2 were sub-par in comparison to part 1 (the bourne identity), directed by doug liman. anyway… if you thought this flick wasted a few hours of your life… i recommend catching the bourne series instead