(Once in a while, I take a new book with me to lunch and give it a half an hour or so to grab my attention. Lunch Date is my judgment on that speed-dating experience.)
Who’s your date today? Suck It, Wonder Woman! The Misadventures of a Hollywood Geek by new Daily Show correspondent Olivia Munn. (And her ghostwriter, Mac Montandon.)
Where’d you go? The new Elliott Bay Café. And if I may pick nits for a moment, I’d like to show you the sign in front of Elliott Bay:
- Click to Enlarge
It reads “EBC Café.” Which means that this sign reads “Elliott Bay Café Café.” Which is a little bit annoying.
What’d you eat? I had the Cuban panini sandwich ($9).
How was the food? It’s a meaty sandwich—not the delicious pulled pork that you can find at the other Elliott Bay Café, but cold cuts—with tangy, spicy barbecue-like sauce and good, thick panini bread. $9 is the outside of acceptable for a lunch, but it was a satisfying sandwich on its own, and it would make for a pleasant break from browsing.
- Assistance with holding the photo up while simultaneously flipping it off: Cienna Madrid.
What does your date say about itself? Munn, who is apparently beloved by internet geeks for the countless cheesecake photos of her posing sexily with nerd paraphernalia her “sense of humor,” has written a book full of observations and, uh, stuff. There’s a flip book feature in the corner with photographs of Munn in a sexy outfit; when you flip the pages, she wriggles around in a sexy dance.
The flip book’s not all: There are photographs mixed in with the large print throughout the book. Early on, she publishes a 15-page gallery of artwork created by her fans. That’s right after the story about how she dumped a boyfriend because he said he fantasizes about sucking dicks and how she started dating a boy, only to find out—cue sad trombone—that he has Tourette’s syndrome. (At which Munn says: “God. Damn. Hi, karma, I’m Olivia. I’m sorry for whatever I did in my past life…can we move on now?”) The best part is that the inside of the dust jacket is a pinup of Munn. My photo of that dust jacket interior (click to enlarge) is on the right. Personally, I prefer Faulkner’s cheesecake dust jacket pinup, but that’s just me.
Is there a representative quote? “Yeah, so I wrote a book. I know everyone thinks they have a book in them and that one day they will totally write it and it will be great, but that’s not true. For one thing, writing a book is hard as shit. And writing a book that is interesting is doubly hard as shit. Plus—who’s to say if anyone will give two shits? Ya know?” Weirdly, Munn’s ghostwriter doesn’t seem to have anything to say about the difficulty of writing a book.
Will you two end up in bed together? Never in a million fucking years.
dude, are you gay?
I have to say – I HATE that Olivia Munn is on the Daily Show now. She has no credibility as a comedian and she stumbled through that whole Russian Spy bit the other day.
Being pretty nerd bait shouldn’t get you a job on the Daily Show. (Or a book for that matter).
more like: “Hey Sailor! I’m an oompa-loompa —cue sad trombone— but @ least I don’t have fucking Tourette’s syndrome or any redeeming comedic chops.”
I agree with you Schmapdi. She’s boring and cannot write or act. She’s terrible. The Daily Show is obviously looking for some kind of ratings boost or something. There has to be a real reason she’s involved with the show.
She’s hot but she’s not talented or interesting in any credible way. Go away, Olivia Munn, go away.
@2: Totally fucking agreed. It appears The Daily Show is apeing Fox News’ habit of putting vapid beauty queens in front of the camera and pretending their qualified, which should be Colbert’s bit.
if she ain’t funny she’ll be gone quick.
look at lauren weedman.
Poor Marshmallow. Can’t even get a book to fuck him.
Olivia Munn is Megan Fox with a fondness for video games. “Look at me, I’m not trying to be sexy, I’m just hopping around in a French maid outfit and jumping into pools of pudding! I’m just being ME, y’all. I’m just naturally this sexy and cool! Ladies don’t like me because I’m just naturally this sexy and cool! If they were as sexy and cool as I was, we wouldn’t have problems!”
Who the fuck is Olivia Munn?
Regarding The Daily Show, I’m not sure I agree. That is, I don’t think she’s funny, but neither are Samantha Bee or Jason Jones. At all. Or maybe I just don’t get them.
Aasif and Wyatt are alright, and I think John (Oliver) is legitimately funny, but that’s about it.
Now I just need someone to make the observation that I think only white men are funny.
@8: Thank you! That was the description I was looking for: Megan Fox who plays video games.
Mark me down as another person who was utterly bewildered when she showed up in that “Vietnamese people” sketch on TDS a few weeks back. Someone had to tell me what her credentials were, because after watching that sketch, I couldn’t think of a reason why she should be there.
I hate Olivia Munn for figuring out the “hot nerd girl” niche and exploiting the hell out of it before an equally hot lady with less of a need to be so pandering could.
I’d take the Rhapsody neanderthal’s girlfriend over Olivia Munn any day of the week.
The Elliott Bay Cafe Cafe sign is also annoying because the lower-case “ebc” inside of a circle looks like the ABC TV network’s logo.
oh boy another picture of cienna giving the finger man she is one classy whore when are they going to deport her skanky maggot ass?
OK, I had the Cuban pork sandwich at Elliott Bay Cafe today and I had the butterscotch pudding. I’m a huge fan of all things pig… Damn! it was crazy good! Tasted like house braised pork to me. Now I’m not normally a fan of pudding, but they were talking up the butterscotch pudding to some guy in front of me that wanted chocolate (apparently they ran out) and my curiosity got the best of me so I tried it. It was made with scotch and butter, the old fashioned way… it was sooooo delicious!
I could give a rip what the sign looks like as long as there is more goodness once I get inside.
couldn’t it be elliott bay book company cafe? with just one representative b? i’d like to think more of a literary institution.
So, uh, she is biphobic and has no respect for the mentally ill? Yeah, that makes me like her SO MUCH…
@13: The niche is not filled. We need more hot nerd girls. LOTS MORE.
@20 Yeah yeah, that’s what they all say until said girls actually want to join your DnD game.