Handily providing me with another opportunity to post a photo of British rugby hunk Ben Cohen, the Village Voice publishes a study of “straight bears”:
These men—like their gay counterparts—are the antithesis of the metrosexual stag hags, those heavily primped, buff straight guys who count gays among their most trusted wingmen. Straight bears are less concerned with designer labels and limiting their carbs than with comfy clothes and beer. And they love to hang with their gay-bear brothers.
The piece has some problems, including but not limited to describing Ben Cohen as “portly,” identifying Bob Mould as just “a DJ,” and neglecting to mention LCD Soundsystem’s James Murphy, the celebubear whose suited-and-barefoot This Is Happening cover pic could hardly be dreamier.
But then there’s this amazing chunk:
Earlier this year, the blogosphere was riffing on an incident in which Southwest Airlines bumped portly writer-director-actor Kevin Smith off a plane for taking up too much seat space. But lost in the brouhaha was the occasion that had brought Smith to San Francisco in the first place: He was attending the 16th annual International Bear Rendezvous. That’s right: The biggest annual bear gathering in the nation featured Smith as a headliner. “He had his moment in the sun at IBR, standing in front of a room of men who want to fuck him,” recounts Malcolm Ingram, a close friend of Smith’s who accompanied him to the bear-in. “Then, two hours later, he’s being kicked off a plane.”
Life is weird.
I have attended beard parties.
Wait — portly? Cohen could pick that reporter up and throw him thirty yards.
See, I could have used this chance to hit on Schmader but I didn’t. It was hard, but I have restraints.
the whole bear look has been catching on with hipsters for a while now. I like playing the game “Cub or Hipster?” while walking around Capitol Hill.
Has anyone else noticed though that fat gay guys have appropriated the term “bear”, fur or not, similar to how women use “curvy” or “bbw”? (Not the case here of course)
It’s good to see a healthy, burly dude on Slog!! We can count on you Schmader.
Oh straight bears, I love thee…and wish you would be slightly bi bears. 😀
Except you, Kevin Smith. Maybe if you started making A-game movies again, MAYBE. MAYBE.
Also, Ben Cohen is PORTLY?!!? Jesus fuck. *hangs head in shame for Village Voice.”
The VV is so fucking stupid.
Also, the accompanying illustration is Whoa…trippy, hilarious, and WTF all at once.
where do us otters fit into this whole spectrum?
Wait, so us straights are now co-opting from the gays? What does this mean?
I’ve never needed Kevin Smith to go back to A-game. Whatever game he wants to play is just fine by me.
I would never be attracted to the Kevin Smith who made Jersey Girl.
EVER.
for an “alternative to disco balls, rainbow flags and celebrity gossip”, Portland’s Jack Malebranche coins the term ‘Androphilia’ to describe his homosexuality. (He’s also an ordained priest in the Church of Satan.)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Malebr…
If I am a lady attracted to these straight bears, does that make me a lady-otter, or, like, just a lady? Does it help if I don’t shave my legs? I agree with @10, this is getting really complicated, the whole co-opting the terminology of a minority subculture.
Yum, yum, yum! But I couldn’t engorge…oops!…I meant enlarge the photo of that delightful man.
@4, this is the funniest thing I have read in a while. I am definitely playing this game next time I go out.
Since when did in-shape guys under 250 lbs become bears? I must have missed the memo.
@17 I thought bears used to refer to hairy guys who were built…but then the portlier guys slowly co-opted it.
Cohen is woofy as all hell, but by American standards is more muscle bear than “bear”. “Bear” here (in the states) seems to imply the portly (the appropriate use of the word, mind you, Village Voice) and portly-esque as well as the fur. I have heard that bears in the UK are considered more Cohen’s build than Smith’s. Also they fuck other guys.
(Regardless, damn he is HOT!)
@9: There’s a joke in there.
Any reason to post a “portly” Ben Cohen is fine with me. In regard to otters, you can fit in this cubs bed anytime!
If you are a woman attracted to straight bears you call me.
Seriously though straight bear is now a meme? I had always just been calling myself a fat guy.
Bears are technically large, hairy chested men with large cores (ie, bellies and barrel chests) and NO butts, just like real bears. The term has irritatingly been expanded to include all beefy, hairy men. Ben Cohen ISN’T a bear; he’s not shaped right for it and he’s too big to be an otter…maybe, we need a new animal word for inbetweens? Coyotes? Wolves? Wolverines?
Lifestyle/trend pieces published in newspapers are always lame.
Straight bears have been around at least as long as gay bears; they used to be called “men.” The only difference now is that a few of these “straight bears” are willing to admit that they enjoy the attention that they get from a certain segment of the gay male population.
Ben Cohen is one of the hottest men on the planet, but just because he leaves his chest unwaxed and his oblique muscles sort of look like little love handles doesn’t make him a bear.
@23 Too late for Wolves. They are what musclebears turn into sometime around their 48th birthday. It’s a terminology metamorphosis.
Can somebody make a chart of all this terminology? I can’t keep it all straight.
Ben Cohen 1) portly? WTF? 2) a bear? No.
@23 Yes- right on. Only fat, pudgy, and/or hairy gay men refer to themselves as “bears” as a way to describe themselves as something other than, fat, pudgy and/or hairy to make themselves seem more loveable/sexy etc. Bear is a misguided way of saying fat hairy man with a hairy back… So PLEASE stop dragging Mr. Cohen into that ridiculously monikerd club. He is just hot! And Hot men don’t need to give themselves names like bear or otter or wolf or twink or daddy or (fill in the blank with your favorite faggy stereotype)… Sheesh!
Who gives a fuck what other people call themselves and what others call them? It’s a fucking free country, fuck you and your label-shredding and finger-wagging.
Wow, that’s more fuck than an IBR elevator.
@29 stuck a familiar note with you eh? Time to sic the Bacondogs…
Ben is really more of a cublet.
@22: Exactly. I thought “straight bear” was more-or-less the default physique of today’s American man.
@2- I wonder if he throws reporters forward, or respects his craft and only tosses them backwards or laterally.
I approve of all the words n shit that made it good and OK to post pictures of that man. KEEP IT UP.