These Pets Were Too Beautiful for The Stranger’s Inaugural Ugly Pet Contest

Decisions were made, votes were counted, and the winners have been chosen for The Stranger‘s inaugural Ugly Pet Contest, sponsored by Urban Animal Clinic, Purrfect Cat Boarding, and Emerald City Pet Rescue. But while our winners (TBA!) prepare for a photo shoot this weekend as their owners pick through a Pure Ayre prize package, we want to spotlight some of the pets that were too beautiful to win. Not everyone can be an ugly duck, but these pretty pets still hold a place in our rotten hearts.

“Henry is 9 years old and never got teeth, apparently due to genetic issues related to his partial Mexican hairless heritage.” Courtesy of owner

What does Henry do on a perfect day in Seattle?

Henry’s perfect day in Seattle is going to Pettirosso cafe in the morning and getting a fresh baked dog bone. Perhaps a snooze wherever a spot of sunshine can be found. Then onto running errands on the Hill with a mandatory stop at Pacific Supply for another treat. Then heading back home for another nap in the sun.

P.S. Henry says next year he is going all in on the competition, including going topless for the photo shoot. He didn’t realize the competition was going to be so tough…

“He’s uggie and chunky.” Courtesy of owner

What would Prune do on his dream date?

Well, there are two things that Prune absolutely loves: being outside (his lack of fur doesn’t deter him) and eating food. So naturally his dream date would be an outdoor picnic on a hot day. Besides his regular cat food, he LOVES human food, so he’d stuff his basket with things like fried chicken, cottage cheese, sausage, yogurt, chocolate milk, more chocolate, lots of candy, chips, cheese, etc. I suspect he wouldn’t be a very good date, however, as he is particularly greedy and selfish when it comes to sharing.

Also, his full registered name is Lilith Prune Dark Moon Rising and he (and his brother) have an Instagram account if anybody wants to follow: pruneanddoom_goblin.sphynx
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“Meet Jack Jack. We’re pretty sure he smoked 24/7 before coming to live with us.” Courtesy of owner

What characteristic is Jack Jack the proudest of?

Jack Jack is super confident about his teeth. He’s worked hard over the years to get that rot just right. He loves devouring treats using his snaggle as a shovel. Treats are his favorite. He knows janky teeth get you sweet treats! When folks compliment his grill, he fiercely spins at top speed, slams to a sit, and then plays dead!

This is Zero. You can follow him here. Courtesy of owner

What would Zero do on his dream date?

His dream date would definitely be at an all-you-can-eat hot dog buffet, followed by a leisurely stroll through Capitol Hill to eat sidewalk food dropped by drunk clubgoers the night before.

What a good employee! Follow him here. Courtesy of owner

What’s Herbert’s perfect day in Seattle?

Herbert’s perfect day in Seattle starts with being invited into his family’s bed for morning snuggles and sleeping until the sun comes out. Then he’s off to check out the yard to make sure nothing has changed overnight; this is also a great time to hunt for worms and other weird smells in the lawn and roll on them. Herbert then heads to work helping his human make burlesque and circus costumes. Herbert loves testing fabric softness by lying on it, and he earned employee of the month last year for his hard work.

For lunch, he takes a walk around Queen Anne Hill—stopping at Kerry Park to be admired by tourists, walking on Queen Anne Avenue to say hi to his favorite stores and people, and the last stop on his walk is a local pet store to pick out a bone to carry home. Herbert gets an extended lunch to chew his new bone and takes a nap while his human works, then has his neighborhood friends over for a backyard pool party.

Dinner is a very important part of the day, but only if chicken breast is mixed in with the usual dry kibble being served. If not, Herbert likes to get worked up by what the humans are eating and lets them know by digging the carpet and throwing tantrums. When it’s time to relax toward the end of the day, Herbert loves to help everyone get ready by pulling the socks off their feet. He settles in himself for some people-watching through the front window off the back of the couch. When it’s time for sleep, Hebert settles down into his crate with one plush toy of his choosing to dream about his next perfect day in Seattle (aka tomorrow).

” This is Burt Reynolds. He is 23 years old and smells real weird. He has a crooked face for unknown reasons and is missing the tip of one of his ears. He used to have only two bottom fangs, but they were removed and now he just has a mushy soft drool mouth. He is an aggressive cuddler, the sweetest buddy, and darn ugly.” Courtesy of owner

What characteristic is Burt the proudest of?

Burt is proudest of his crucial work in astrophysics and his well-reviewed research in the field. Just kidding… he eats our other cat’s puke.