42 replies on “The Betty Bowers Guide to Bible-Based Marriage”

  3. Dan, I can’t believe you posted this. It must be the morning, because it actually resulted in me crying. It’s just so offensive to my Biblicality. Aren’t one or two progressive Christians on Slog all you need to see that some of us are not at all disciplined with our beliefs, but we still can’t take a fucking joke? Isn’t that all you need to stop posting this offensive funnies? I need to go to bed now. This is like being fed to lions.

  4. This is probably more effective than all the No On Prop 8 ads combined.

    If nothing else, it’s funny as hell.

  5. The voice is spot on. Just finished watching Janice Shaw Crouse speak on Youtube r.e the horrors of casual sex, and Betty has that serenely smug thing going on perfectly.

  6. I love it when people point out that “traditional marriage” is something that Christians defined within the last century. We’re redefining marriage?!

  10. 7 Yes why would she left out that, could it be because of Sodom and Gomorrah? Cannot bring that subject into her little video because it would crumble her little jokes.

  11. Um 10, I guess you missed the salt reference…from the story of Sodom and Gomorrah? Lot, who first offered his daughters up to a rape mob, and later had sex with them, fathering his own grandchildren, is later described as righteous in 2 Peter 2. Really, if you’re going to claim to be Christian, you really should learn the Bible.

  12. 11 Really? I can recall perfectly well what the scriptures say happened in the intermedium before the turning of his wife into a salt pillar.

    Who did the mob wanted to rape dear Rob?

    “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us, and let us know them.”

    Both you and Betty Bowers need to read the scriptures and tell the whole story and not just the bits that you enjoy.

  13. “need to read the scriptures and tell the whole story and not just the bits that you enjoy.”

    I could say the same for you and your fundie bigoted ilk.

  14. 12, To which Lot replies, “No, my friends. Don’t do this wicked thing. 8 Look, I have two daughters who have never slept with a man. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do what you like with them. But don’t do anything to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof.”

    Lot should be freakin’ father of the year? What happens next? They all escaped, but God turned Lot’s wife into a pillar of salt because she looked back. Nice huh? Later, in a cave Lot and his two daughters got it on, and Lot fathered his own grandchildren. This is supposed to be an example of righteous?

    You don’t know the Bible, and like the typical “Christian” you pick and choose through the scriptures You leave out the stuff you don’t want to follow while condemning others for not following your little selective version of Christianity.

    Please, learn the Bible if you are going to continue to claim to be a Christian. Until then, stop trying to tell others to live by a faith that you don’t even follow.

  15. its a shame betty is a bad christian that’s going to hell. she’s not supposed to teach men, or even talk according to 1 timothy chapter 2 verse 12.

    for the sake of her eternal soul, i hope she keeps her yap shut in church as well, according to 1 corinthians chapter 14 verse 34.

  17. @12 —- Betty is talking about marriage.

    The Sodom and Gomorrah story is not about marriage, so get back to the original post info.

  18. @10. Does the Sodom and Gommorah story involve a marriage? Not really up to speed, but maybe it just wouldn’t be relevant. Plus, if it’s about male/male rape, it’s not really a legit. argument against gay marriage, as most gay Americans don’t intend to marry rapists.

  19. What the bible says or does not say about marriage is completely irrelevant. We don’t make laws based on religious beliefs.

    Plus, this was kind of repetitive and not all that funny.

  20. 17, 18, The story isn’t about marriage per se, but according to the Bible, Lot’s wife, and mother of his two daughters, gets turned into a pillar of salt for looking back at the destruction that they are escaping. What a dick God is in that story.

  21. 14 Uh huh, funny how you left out what was the “wicked thing” that Lot was begging the sodomites (as in sodomy) not to do. That’s cool with you right? Perhaps you think they just wanted to give them cookies and milk. Why I can almost imagine you in the crowd.

  22. @19 –“What the bible says or does not say about marriage is completely irrelevant. We don’t make laws based on religious beliefs.”

    Where have you been for the last 200 years? Or even 2000 years?

  23. @rob in Baltimore…

    God is constantly a dick in the bible

    “Eat anything in the garden you want… but not from THAT tree. No… not the shiny tempting tree.”

    “Abraham, kill your son. For me. No really! It will be cool!”

    The real question is who is the bigger dick. God or Superman?
    Superdickery.com: http://tinyurl.com/5sgv8c

  24. Perhaps, she didn’t bring up Sodom and Gommorrah, because of the following verses: Jeremiah 23: 13-14, Isaiah 1: 10-17, Ezekial 16: 46-63, Genesis 18: 16-33, and my favorites on the subject Matthew 11:20-23, Luke 10:13-15.

    Matthew 11: 20-23

    Then Jesus began to denounce the citites in which most of his miracles had been performed, becuase they did not repent. “Woe to you, Korazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! If the miracles that performed in Tyre and Sidon, they would have repented long ago in sackcloths and ashes. But I tell you, it will be more bearable for Tyre and Sidon on the day of judgment than for you. And you, Capernaum, will you be lifted up to the skies? No, you will go down to the depths. If the miracles that were performed in you had been performed in Sodom, it would have remained to this day. But I tell you that it will be more bearable for Sodom on the day of judgement than for you.”

    Apparently, there are sins against God that are worse than desiring to “know” some angels.

  26. 21, No, I think that was self explanatory. The Bible is anti gay. It also says a that virgin must marry her rapist, that women should remain silent in church, that women shouldn’t wear gold, braid their hair, or wear costly attire.

    I don’t claim to follow the Bible. You are the one who claims to follow it. Not only do you not follow it, you don’t even know what the Bible says. So please stop claiming to be a Christian until you do know and actually follow what is in the Bible.

  27. Despite what a bunch of stone-headed unimaginative literalists like Loveschild believe, Christianity doesn’t have hardly anything to do with that Boy’s Big Book of fairy stories.

  28. 23, On the don’t eat from that tree thing, and God being a major dick: Think about it. The tree from which God forbids Adam and Eve to eat is The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. How could Adam and Eve have known that the serpent was evil, that God was good, or that disobeying God was evil without the having the knowledge of good and evil? They could have only understood these things after they eaten the forbidden fruit.

    Why would God put the innocent, and very naive Adam and Eve in the garden with that tree, and an evil serpent. God couldn’t have figured out what was going to happen? That didn’t stop God from sentencing them to death, and putting an armed guard on the Tree of Life, to prevent Adam and Eve from regaining eternal life. What a DICK!

  29. Hey Lovechild, I believe from past posts that you’re an African-American woman. How do you feel about the following biblical passage?
    Leviticus 25:44-46: “Your male and female slaves are to come from the nations around you; from them you may buy slaves. You may also buy some of the temporary residents living among you and members of their clans born in your country, and they will become your property. You can will them to your children as inherited property and can make them slaves for life, but you must not rule over your fellow Israelites ruthlessly.” (NIV)
    As much as I can make out of it, it seems to say that it was OK for MY ancestors to own YOUR ancestors.

  30. I’ve heard it explained that the serpent in the story represented pre-Christian pagan religions, which supported the adherent in passing judgement for himself. (Snakes were a revered symbol prior to Christianity.)

    Conversely, Christianity didn’t want adherents to judge or question for themselves, so the new story demonized the old religion and the old way of doing things (as the new religion always must demonize the old).

  31. Loveschild, in the past you’ve been smug, blind, and bigoted, but you’re becoming increasingly incoherent. You used to be able to at least participate in the logical rhetorical flow of a discussion.

    “There was incest in the Lot story, too!”
    LC: “Nuh uh. There was homosex.”
    “Right, but there was incest, too, not to mention a father giving his daughters up for rape.”
    LC: “Nuh uh. Homosex.”
    “Right, the mob wanted to rape the men. But they didn’t. They raped the girls, and then Lot raped the girls too, even though they were his daughters.”
    LC: “Nuh uh! Homosex! Homosex is the bad thing! No rapes! Homosex thoughtcrime!”
    “Anyway, what does this have to do with marriage?”
    LC: “YOU’RE a gay rapist! Homosex is bad!”

    Anyway, what I’m suggesting is that it might help your case some if the things you said actually made some kind of logical sense, however misdirected or wrongly founded, in the context of the things you’re putatively replying to.

  32. Even conservative theologians agree that the story of Sodom and Gomorrah is not about homosexuality, it is about the treatment of strangers/guests. To this day in places like Afghanistan, Pakistan, north Africa, the relationship of the guest and host is considered absolutely sacred. Allowing harm or ill-treatment of your guest is unthinkable. Sodom and Gomorrah had become so depraved that they sought to rape their guests. It represented a complete lack of humanity to the audience(as well it should today).

    P.S. Many scholars think King David and Jonathan had a gay relationship.

  33. 31, Loveschild is a typical pseudo-Christian, not interested in knowing or understanding the Bible. She only wants cherry pick the stuff she can use against others, while at the same time ignoring the parts that she doesn’t want to follow.

  34. 31, actually it’s closer to say Lot’s daughters raped him. They got him drunk deliberately so they could sleep with him and get pregnant.

  36. @29, in biblical times, slavery was not typically whites-owning-blacks; slaves were usually conquered people. Black Africans didn’t start being taken into bondage until Arab traders started slaving in the century before Mohammad.

    But yeah, the Bible is emphatically pro-slavery. Everybody was then.

    The reason God is a dick is because God is only interested in one thing in this world: obedience. The very word “Islam”, which is basically the same thing as Christianity and Judaism, means “submission”. He tempts you to see if you’re strong enough to resist, and then punishes you when you (inevitably) are not. That’s God’s whole bag: OBEY. BELIEVE. SUBMIT.

    It’s kind of kinky, really.

  39. The bible was made up by cave-dwelling, bronze age goat herders, God isn’t real, and Jesus, if he actually existed was the son of Joseph The Carpenter or the product of incestuous rape (not God)…that is if Mary was like any of the pregnant, religious mental cases that wound up in the county nut hatch during the early 60’s when my grandmother worked there. Except when the movie “Rosemary’s Baby” came out, after that they claimed they were impregnated by Satan or a demon or something. Major crazy.

  42. I am uneasy after seeing this video, i think it is belittling gay christian. The bible should be read in the light of the socio-economic dynamism of its time and not to be taken litterary. The new covenant comes and deliver an universal message which contradicts in more than one instance the old covenant. Having said that, you can attack the institution which as a political entity strives for power but leave the philosophy for its own merit

Comments are closed.