Actually, it was his girlfriend, Cheryl Johnson ("His long-suffering girlfriend of nine years," Cheryl said, "and feel free to say long suffering") who showed it off.


"There’s very few mammals that have a bone in their penis," she told me, holding a Bud Light in the living room of her GIANT house in Fremont. "Walruses are one of those animals." And the above objects are made from walrus penis bones—one large, one small.

As for Justice Sanders, he was hunched over a computer when I arrived, hoping that he'd hit 50 percent, which would mean he wins, full stop, tonight. "I have a chance," he said.


We sat and had a drink, and he told me (again) how proud he was of being endorsed by The Stranger in 1998 as both the man to vote for and the man we'd want to have three drinks with. Sanders was holding a glass of red wine, and said we could call it his third if we wanted. (So maybe we've now almost enacted that 1998 wish.)

This year, citing his 2006 opposition to overturning Washington's Defense of Marriage Act, we endorsed his opponent, Charlie Wiggins—something that clearly grates on Sanders.

"I'm The Stranger's guy, really," he told me, sitting next to the walrus penis bone. "You guys just don't know it. There's more to life than gay marriage. And I would hope that the gays would tell you that."

Then we went and listened to this woman sing the Star Spangled Banner in his girlfriend's kitchen.


UPDATE: As for Justice Sanders' alleged gay friends, none appeared to be in attendance. Sanders' girlfriend Cheryl and Justice Sanders himself said that there were no gay people at the party—that they knew of. Then Justice Sanders asked the SECB, "Are you gay?", to which we replied "Yes." It was then agreed on that Justice Sanders might have one gay person at his party. In parting, Sanders shook the SECB's hand, looked in our eye, and said, "Say hi to the boys for me."