Cheree sent me news that will surely—even though it's a few years old—drive me around the bend:

An enormous spider web has been found at Lake Tawakoni State Park, Texas, US. It is not the work of one giant spider - rather, millions of small ones have been spinning away and now it is twice the size of a football field.

AAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIK

UPDATE: In comments, Hernandez just made my phobia exactly EIGHT times worse:

I used to be terribly arachnophobic. Then, a number of years ago, I slept on a couch in my friend's basement and woke up with over two dozen wolf spider bites all over my arms and back.

That's my worst nightmare, Hernandez, and I seriously doubt it would cure my arachnophobia. But maybe posting this will help.