"police say a caped crusader dressed in black was nearly shot"

you don't say....

For heaven's sake, Paul, don't encourage these people. I live in Baltimore, and as rough as this city can be, the last thing, THE LAST THING, that we need is a bunch of ass-clowns in tights running around helping to dispense justice. I appreciate the thought. I really do- you want to make a difference, you want to stand up to crime, you want to be a hero. But no. Really.

There's a car called the Kia Fate?

Call me when they come out with the Hyundai Exasperation or Dodge Despair.

If four superheroes in Batmobiles all reach the same intersection at the same time in Seattle, which one turns first?

@3 Saturn Ennui has a nice ring to it too.

@4:

None. Batmobile #1 engages their bat-turbo, zooming through the intersection. #2 hits their bat-JATO, flying over the intersection. #3 punches their bat-jack springs, hopping over #2, while #4 releases their bat-parachute brake, slowing down to clear the other three.

Let's see these dipshits come on down and spend a Saturday Night patrolling Henderson and Rainier.

Fucking honkies.

#3 - I think the Despair replaced the Aspen in '81.

Now, to qualify as RLSHs, we'll need at least anecdotal evidence of crime fighting, don't we?

Still, beats those red baret wearing morons.

@5, oh, the Ennui's nice, isn't it? It comes with a Seattle Package, too -- they take out the turn indicator lever and replace it with an iPhone dock.

@9 - I'm assuming they remedied that lack of turn indicator control in that trim level by just having one side blink as long as the car is running?

So-called "heroes" of Puget Sound, prepare to meet your doom! The Diddler is preparing a fiendish scheme to destroy the lot of you in one fell swoop! HA HA! This is MY CITY. I will make you rue the day you pulled on those tights and masks.

Nobody, but nobody, diddles The Diddler!

Await my first baffling clue - you will never solve my series of confounding enigmas. You poor, stupid fools! HOO HOO HOO!

Are Speed-Walker, Billy Kwan and Capable Woman part of this group of Seattle Superfriends? (John Keister paid me for this post).

@10 I don't care to research immature fuckheads who have delusions of fanboy grandeur. I hope one of these clowns gets beaten with a baseball bat. Black or white.

@15 these guys aren't us typical comics nerds. They're dudes (in some of the cases) with military and combat training backgrounds. I can't wait to see someone do a Batman dive off of the side of a condo downtown...

Shablagoo!

my stepdaughter has met phoenix jones at a party - i am enjoying this.

Coon and Friends Alert!!!!!

So, whatever.
People can take their own lives into their hands if they want, but if you are gonna be some sort of vigilante "justice" hero, please do the favor of these two things:

(1) Be an effective witness to police for crimes you see, give a fucking report and don't wuss out and let perps walk because you "don't wanna give your name" [Puh-lease!].

(2) Don't interefere with victimless "consensual crimes" (drugs, prostitution, etc.). This is an affront to people AND democracy. Who the fuck are you to tell me what to do if I'm not hurting anyone?

"No Name" - how great is that?. I hope it comes with a tragic back-story.

Darwin is my superhero. He'll deal with these posers.

@& Seconded on Rainier and Henderson. Got to wait for a bus there late at night with my pregnant wife a few weeks ago. The rowdy teenagers were a LOT more fun than a group of costumed superheroes.

@7 honkies? a) who still uses this term? Nilla, please. b) Phoenix Jones is as black as coffee with no cream or sugar.

If you're interested in real-life superheroes, check out my new book "I, Superhero!!" Available everywhere!

www.theamazingwhitebread.com

I visited the website that fuels this movement, http;//reallifesuperheroes.org and found this:

We are using the iconicism of comic book superheroes to make a difference, inspire others, spread a positive message, and call attention to issues in our communities. The Real Life Superheroes work to make the world a better place by doing civic activities, charity work, public safety patrols, hospital visits, school talks, distributing wanted and missing person fliers, helping the homeless, community clean-ups, and more.

Sounds like what the world needs to me. Bless them.

I just wanted to come out and say a few things. My name is Red Dragon, I'm a member of Rain City Superhero Movement.

@Rotten666,

We'd be happy to help out in any way that we can, if that means stopping to Rainier/Henderson on a Saturday night...you got it. There's really no need for the name-calling, we're just trying to do our best to help others, be it handing out food to the homeless or protecting people from violent crime.

Also, wishing violence on another person because you disagree with them isn't cool. It's not funny either. Having seen combat and been an EMT, I would never wish half of the things I've seen on another person. It may seem like just words, but eventually someone might take what you say seriously and that's when somebody gets hurt.

@mkyorai,

You're absolutely right. The last thing the world needs is a bunch of people wearing tights walking around at night helping to support the community by providing aid to those who need it. We shouldn't have to do this, the community should be helping out. In time, hopefully, there won't be a need for us. Believe me, walking around at night when it's cold and raining isn't the most spectacular thing. Especially when you're in harms way. But until that time, Phoenix, Buster, myself and other will walk our patrols and do what we can because people need it.

The question is, how are you going to help us achieve that goal? You don't have to be a fighter to fight crime, and you don't need a costume to do the right thing.

@The Diddler,

That is a wonderful mask. Very Pulp Fiction.

@treacle,

Phoenix and I have been talking about both of your points recently. Regarding the first: Protecting our identities is a must due to some of the places we operate in. We have families to protect as well as lives outside of being a superhero. With that said, if our testimony is needed...we will find a way.

The second part: We do not seek out consensual crimes. Putting away a drug user serves very little purpose. It has little to no effect on the community and it is not likely to have a positive effect on the user. This is why we target drug dealers. Removing them from the streets improves the safety of the people living in the area and it will remove an easy source of misery to those who are victimized by a poor choice.

@Everybody

We at Rain City Superhero Movement and RLSH wish you a happy and safe holiday as well as the same for the New Year. You can find us on Facebook if you need help or if you want to help.

Red Dragon
RCSM

"The realization that we are all basically the same human beings who seek happiness and try to avoid suffering is very helpful in developing a sense of brotherhood and sisterhood; a warm feeling of love and compassion for others." 14th Dalai Lama