Comments

1
this is funny as shit. well styled.
2
Well played.
3
Of course he was. You're on Fark, Constant.
4
>I didn’t realize I was back in grade school.

Darrin, you're not back in grade school. You're in the real, grown-up world where you are supposed to put into practice all those things you "learned" back in school.
5
Didn't your first editor teach you to wait a day before replying to hate mail?
6
Again, engaging in a battle of wits against an unarmed opponent. Be nice to him, as this may be the highlight of his week.
7
You become more awesome every day, Constant. Thank you.
8
solidifying tool
9
I'd have chosen to argue the literal. "Ah yes, I am a tool. As are you. For whom are we tools? For what? Do we serve our purpose? Do we cause delight and reflection? I am a tool for publishing items that generate page views. This brings advertising income. Advertising income is valuable. You are a tool as you serve to remind us to write at such a level that the lowest common denominator finds our text accessible. Please read our other related articles, and click on the ads in the side column."
10
@4 that's so cute how you think this person actually paid attention in school.
11
People sometimes don't cite references when stating well accepted facts.
12
@11: Indeed. The earth revolves around the sun, Natalie Portman is smoking hot and Paul Constant is a tool.
13
i totally lol'd. solidifying tools . . .
14
darrin may not know grammar but he knows tools.....
15
Please keep up this correspondence forever.
16
Paul, have you read Steve Almond's "Letters From People Who Hate Me?" Based on this exchange, I am 99% sure you will enjoy it.
http://www.harvard.com/book/letters_from…
17
More! More!! We need an entire edition of hate mail or even a weekly slog article.
18
another crevasse of my time wasting achieved on slog. a great life not lived.

can i filter out constant??
19
Darrin wants to toodle your todger but is too shy to come right out and ask.
20
@17, I would read a weekly "hate mail" slog post.
21
Tool v. Tool
22
Yes - but which tool? Plane, screw, pulley, wedge - and whatever the other two are. Also style-wise, always two spaces after a period ending a sentence.
24
@2, nope. Two spaces after a period went out with the IBM Selectric typewriter. Computers use variable-spaced fonts, for the most part, and don't need a double space. They look terrible in a proportionally spaced font. It is strictly a relic of the typewriter era. I learned how to do it in typing class in 1972, and unlearned it on a Mac fifteen years later.

http://www.itcfonts.com/Ulc/4111/DoubleS…
25
Well done!

I love whenever you guys post hate mail on slog. One of my favourites is still the butthurt director of Jolene's letter to all of the staff about how much he hates Lindy. I think there was a good one from the Cook to Bang guy as well.
26
I still recall fondly the "GO BACK TO FRANCE PUSSY YOU FAGGOT" fellow. He was a peach. This Darrin creature needs to up his game.
27
Plus, Darrin should have put the period inside the quotation mark at the end of his sentence, as in, ..."your."
28
@23 Ken we usually call that the Ace and it's only a good trick if you got the suit correct too.
30
@ 26, that remains SLOG's finest hour. Award winning poets never came up with a line anywhere as good.
31
@12: whoever decided that Natalie Portman needs to be run over by a bus. Hopefully the same bus that also runs over whoever decided that Cameron Diaz and Julia Roberts were at all attractive.
32
@26/30: I've heard the phrase mentioned around here, but missed the original guy. Any memory about what his complaint was about? Who was he aiming his vitriol at?
33
@24- TWO SPACES FOREVER. Never trust a font to do a typist's work.
34
Dear Random Pinhead: Please be specific re: why you think Paul is a tool. Some of us may agree with you.

Dear Paul Bobby: Thank you. Keep up the good work. Whatever that may be...

Yours, double-spacer 4eva...

KD
35
just give him your 'A' Tool. he seems to really want it
36
@4: "Darrin, you're not back in grade school. You're in the real, grown-up world where you are supposed to put into practice all those things you "learned" back in school."

From the article he responded to, Darrin comes from "real 'murka" and does not follow US Gov't TYRANNICAL LAW.
38
Thanks for the education, Fnarf. "Go live in France" shirts and buttons still available, btw.
39
I see that two of the hate mailers David Schmader has publicized have a connection. The "GO BACK TO FRANCE PUSSY YOU FAGGOT" fellow has a sister who has a blog accusing another hate mailer, Patrick J Lillis, or pjlillis of rape.
40
@39,
HOLY SHIT! Nice find. You snobs that hide anonymous comments are missing out. Notice in one entry she refers to her brothers Danny and Richard, who also wrote to Schmader.
42
@41, Interesting article. And some interesting articles linked from it too, like this one heralding the death of Caps Lock. (Whatever will the trolls do now?)

But you can have my second space when you pry it from my cold, dead, hands.

Please wait...

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