Hey sports-loving sloggers, I'm sure you were all wondering where I was today. To the extent that sports gets the coverage it deserves here, I try to provide it. My illustrious slogging career began, after all, with the idea of live-slogging a potential Bears-Seahawks playoff matchup in the 2005 season's playoffs. And back in January of 2007, I slogged the Bears beating the Seahawks. Earlier this year, though, I talked serious Slogtrash and the Bears lost to Seattle. I was at that game and still rue every $8.50 Guinness that I had to consume to blot out the memory.

So, this week: crickets chirping. I don't believe in jinxes—superstitions are bad luck—but I wasn't about to write a damn thing about the inevitable demolition the Bears promised for Hasselhoff and Co, lest it go the other way.

Thanks to Geohagan and Hecht for covering for me.

Not writing anything next week about Bears-Packers either. It's too fraught an issue. If the Bears lose, FIBS will storm the Mars Cheese Castle and burn it to the ground and flush rivers of watery Wisconsin lagers down a million toilets. If the Packers lose, the entire state of Wisconsin might spontaneously combust like a 65,500 square mile sharp cheddar fondue. It's border war.