Eighteen-year old Lance Lundsten died on Saturday as a result of a suicide attempt, according to KSAX-TV. Lundsten’s friends say he was gay and that he was bullied at Jefferson High School in Alexandria, Minn…. A Facebook group, Jefferson Anti-Bully Coalition, was organized over the weekend in response to the reports that bullying may have led to Lundsten’s death. “The school’s staff isn’t protecting us, it’s up to the students to help each other,” wrote a student who founded the group.
The Minnesota Independent reports goes on to note that Jefferson High School does have anti-bullying policies—but that the school’s anti-bullying program covers “race, sex, religion, ethnic background, physical or mental handicaps,” but doesn’t cover sexual orientation or gender identity. Chad Duwenhoegger is the principal at Jefferson and you can write him a letter by clicking here. Let him know that his school’s anti-bullying program is inadequate.
UPDATE: Another:
Eleventh grade Slippery Rock High School student Tiffani Maxwell shot herself on Saturday morning. Maxwell’s family believes bullying is to blame for her death. Maxwell was expelled last week. The family said students told teachers they saw Maxwell do drugs. “She got text messages, saying ‘Tiffani you’re in rehab.’ ‘You’re on drugs,'” said Maxwell’s mother Sandy. Maxwell’s parents said their daughter wasn’t on drugs and they were just rumors.
He was so close. If he just waited a few more months then that hell would be behind him.
My heart breaks for you too, Lance and Tiffani.
Rest In Peace kiddos.
This shit has got to end and it’s sad it had to come about because of the death of all these kids who had their whole lives ahead of them.
The only time I’ve ever been physically aggressive with anyone was in 6th grade when Andrew B***** was “bullying” me in the middle of the playground during recess.
He was in my face making fun of me about something, and I remember reflecting on the situation as it was happening, taking prompts from my lifelong unfiltered access to HBO, and decided I wanted to know what it was like to hit someone, so I punched him in the face as hard as I could as he was in mid-sentence. He was left crying and bleeding.
I got suspended for 3 days. He got sympathy. He never spoke to me again for the 6 remaining grades we spent together, nor was he that much of a bully over the years.
Sorry, but that second story is kind of sketchy. We’re to believe that because the girl’s parents says she doesn’t do drugs that she doesn’t? My parents would have said I didn’t when I was in high school. They would have been wrong.
Whether or not she does, of course, doesn’t justify being bullied or tormented, but the story, as reported, reads as parents wanting to see their deceased daughter as a victim (which is completely understandable) and jumping on the “bullying causes suicides” bandwagon.
Why can’t there be some sort of “escape valve” for these kids? You know, where they can tell their parents, “that’s it, last straw, etc.” and they just don’t go back to that school, finish school online, whatever. Can’t we get the message out that no one has to physically attend high school? It can be finished online, and then he could have gotten the hell out. And not that it matters, but every single one of these kids, when you see their pictures, they are SO beautiful…
So now every time some kid commits suicide the people around them can absolve themselves of any guilt by stating it was bullying that drove the kid to their demise? I call bullshit.
Okay “cduwenho”, INCOMING. My email has been sent.
@djh: Thanks. I was hoping I wasn’t being too cynical or heartless. Glad to see I’m not alone in my take. Or that we’re both heartless cynics.
Although I did cry after watching that Chris Colfer clip, so that suggests that maybe I’m not heartless.
The coverage of these suicides has been heartbreaking, but I have some questions…
As a gay man, I experienced teen bullying in the mid-80s. It was horrible, humiliating and demoralizing. I’m curious about the core cause of all these suicides, because I know that gay teens have been bullied forever, and in much harsher and unaccepting climates than 2011. I wonder if any of the following are parts of the rash of teen suicide stories:
1) There have always been gay teens commiting suicide in equal or greater numbers, and we as a society are only now reporting on it with more emphasis.
–or–
2) “Kids these days” aren’t fortified internally, perhaps because of the importance placed on external validation from peers via internet and social networking. And bullying, while horrible, has become the end of the world in their eyes.
I’m not trying to be callous regarding these tragic stories, just curious how gay bullying could be so much harsher and suicide-inducing these days, when, I think we’d all agree that homosexuality has become much more accepted and oenly discussed than in previous generations.
@9, I suspect #1 is the correct answer. The role of the internet and social networking in the equation is to make kids open to bullying 24/7- they could be completely alone at home, and still getting crap.
But according to these a-holes, isn’t being gay a mental disorder, and so shouldn’t it be covered by their own damn policy?
I don’t understand why an anti-bullying policy needs to cover specific things. Surely bullying is something to combat, period? Regardless of who is being bullied or why?
Not to minimize “old-style” bullying, but I have to agree with @10. When I went home from school, I was home. I wasn’t getting emails and Facebook smears from anonymous people all over the area or the county, and then going in to school to find that everyone there had been reading all about it – and even dropping your own presence on something like Facebook wouldn’t stop everyone from continuing the conversation “anonymously” without you.
@12 — I’ve never understood that either. Discrimination (or bullying, or …) *for any reason at all* is unacceptable… etc. What’s difficult about that? A specific list always means that something is left off, and there always seem to be people ready to take advantage of that loophole. WTF is it with some people?
Of course, then you get the likes of the FRC and other designated hate groups which insist their actions aren’t at all discrimination or bullying. But that’s a different issue.
@12
That or a religious issue. If someone is being bullied because they are violating someone else’s religious views, that certainly counts as religious bullying to me.
All if proves is that they don’t buy their own bullshit. The fact that they don’t treat anti-gay bullying as either a disability issue or a religious one proves they know damn well it isn’t either one.
I will send this email, but in the future please don’t use “Mail To” links in anything other than in an actual email. For all Windows users, your link just tries to open up the Outlook Setup Wizard and it’s a pain.
Letter Sent. And @6 and @9- I think the reporting of the kids actually BEING GAY is more common now. In the not-so-distant, less tolerant past, no one would dare accuse a poor deceased child of homosexuality.
Because it’s more acceptable now- thanks in great part to people like Dan- homosexuality can be reported, and anti-gay bullying can get the blame it deserves- thereby encouraging the protective policies that need to be implemented.
I agree that the social network aspect is HUGE. In my day, anonymous comments were made on the walls of the bathroom stalls at school, period. Home was a sanctuary of sorts.
respectful, reasonable email sent.
@9- My take is different, but I believe #1 is the reason. I think bullying gay kids to death has always been going on- except last fall someone (Dan) brought national attention to the problem, and for some reason it ‘took’.
I found the same phenomenon happened when Matthew Shepard was killed- for whatever reason, his death was reported by the media and caused a firestorm. Was he the first gay man to be tortured and killed for being gay? Absolutely not- but his death was the one to ignite folks.
Should every teen suicide due to bullying be publicized, regardless of the victim’s sexuality? I think so. Bullying in high schools is never considered what it is- physical and verbal violence. An adult could go to the police- a minor’s fate is left to school administrators, who parrot the meme- “It’s school- everyone gets shoved into lockers, down stairs, beaten up and has slushies thrown in their faces- they should toughen up”. Sigh.
I gotta agree with you guys. Bullying comes from every angle and shouldn’t require a definition.
I’m continually amazed that these schools don’t have an anti-bully plan in place. In Snohomish, you could change a class and even go into alternative school if you needed an escape from it. But I did the smart thing and never joined the online communities or got a cell.
How awful. Today’s thread discussion of the 24/7 aspect of teen bullying is very sad. Social networking may be all “weak ties”, but if you’re in deep enough to think those ties are all you have and they turn on you, ugh.
Discrimination and Bullying are two different things. We have protected classes for discrimination- race, religion, sexual orientation (in sane places, anyway), etc., because getting fired, say, is a legal ok thing to happen for some reasons (you suck at your job) and not ok for others (you are a woman).
Bullying, however, is always wrong, for whatever reason. Kids get bullied for looking funny, that doesn’t mean “weird looking kids” should be added to their bullying policy. Kids get bullied for having a poor family, I don’t see “poverty” in their bullying policy.
The whole thing is F’d. Have a zero tolerance violence and bullying policy, end of story.
@4 Even if she was doing drugs, that doesn’t mean she wasn’t a victim.
Drug policy in the US is fucked up. She could’ve been a pothead, and I would still think that what happened was fucked up.
@5 Some kids aren’t out to their parents, or simply can’t bring themselves to tell their parents out of embarrassment. In my case it was the latter.
@9 I think it’s both. I know when I was going through it (middle school in the mid 90s), I had no friends and I felt like a complete worthless failure. I don’t care who you are or when you lived: literally not having a social life outside of your family can definitely instill the feeling that life is not worth living.
@ 12, 14, 21, 23 –
I’ll sign up for that too, are they going to add “wierd”, “lame” and “uncool” to the list of protected groups?
Zero Tolerence on bullying, full respect for all, should be the policy for public schools. It’s a shame so few people exercise the option to just mind their own business.
No, it doesn’t. You are only having this problem because you haven’t bothered to setup a default email handler.
FYI, looks like there was an update. According to Lundsten’s father who cited the autopsy, he died of a coronary edema from an enlarged heart. If the father is correct, I’m wondering why this is being reported as a suicide. Anyone have any more info?
Dan you really should use google for something other than finding Youth Pastors to fantasize about…
“Lundsten’s father called KSAX and said that the coroner ruled that Lance died not of suicide, but coronary edema. He said his son had an enlarged heart, and that neither drugs nor alcohol was found in the teen’s system.”
letter sent! These stories are heartbreaking.
GLBT teens are some of the most vulnerable; kids from various races, religions, ethnicities and with handicaps generally have the support of their families, which GLBT kids don’t have enough of.
Anyway, I don’t see why they have to specify on what grounds you can’t bully fellow students. You shouldn’t do it for ANY reason, and they can easily crack down on this… You can’t tell me it never happens in sight of a teacher?!
What evidence is there that this was a Gay Bullying Suicide?
“friends ‘say’ he was gay and that he was bullied …”
“reports that bullying ‘may’ have led to Lundsten’s death.”
High school gossip?
Every Gay Bullying Suicide (and many that are not) gets HUGE media attention.
How many are there, really?
When was the last one?
in fact, actual Gay Bullying Suicides are VERY RARE.
Like Global Warming.
and vaccine autism…..
“Friends of “gay” teen Lance Lundsten of Miltona, Minn., are saying this week that they “believe” anti-gay bullying played a role in the 18-year-old’s “suicide” over the weekend…”
@20: “It’s school- everyone gets shoved into lockers, down stairs, beaten up and has slushies thrown in their faces- they should toughen up” Even if they’re right, how is this a defense? If anything it highlights the need for anti-bullying programs even more. If everyone is a target (and everyone might be, though not everyone is a bully), then it highlights the fact that there’s an underlying problem with the social structure and administration of these schools that goes beyond fear/hatred directed at a single group or a few groups (which I think is the case, though I also think that marginalized social groups are easier targets and therefore more frequently and venomously targeted).
This story needs a correction. While bullying should not be tolerated it did not cause Lance to take his life. In fact he did no such thing. Local media reports after an autopsy that the cause of death was cardiac edema. My big fear is that when we jump on these stories and claim suicide before ALL facts are in, we run the risk of other kids thinking this is a way out.
Local Report:
http://www.echopress.com/event/article/i…
Dan this deserves an immediate correction.
I’ve been wondering if we aren’t part of the problem,too. Not the bullying, which is always wrong, but in developing coping strategies to hang on. We’ve created an environment where it seems every child get a trophy that signs up for soccer, etc. just for participating. “Everyone is a winner”, “everyone is special” are great statements, but they don’t allow for that fact that no-one is a winner 100% of the time, and that we are indeed special to those who love us, but not special to the world at large. We also live in a society that is “on demand”. If everyone is a winner, how do they learn to accept loss and disappointment? If gratification is quick, how do they learn to hold on, hang in there, to persevere? If we haven’t helped them to learn that it is okay to lose a soccer game, or persevere to reach a goal, then how do we help them to hang on when they are so miserable that they can’t see a future. How do they imagine a future worth hanging on for, worth staying around to experience, without being equipped to persevere and to understand that loss is part of life? Add that to the trauma of being bullied and rejected, and it doesn’t seem to hard to imagine how deep the darkness must be for these children. It breaks my heart.
“Alexandria School District 206 is trying to cope with the unexpected death of an 18-year-old student.
Lance Lundsten, a senior at Jefferson High School, died Saturday.
According to preliminary autopsy results that were shared with the family, he died from cardiac edema, a condition caused by an enlarged heart.”
Dan.
you ignorant pussy.
You’ve been punked.
By high school gossip.
again…..
“when we jump on these stories and claim suicide before ALL facts are in, …”
hey!
you can’t mention that sleaze ball ignorant technique without crediting Dan.
He has the patent on it.
34
It’s really not Dan’s fault.
When you get ALL your “news” from homosexual gossip blogs you acquire a queer view of the world…
OMG!!
Did you know that Robert Kennedy committed SUICIDE because LBJ and Hoover kept calling him ‘that little faggot’…?
IT”S TRUE!!
read it on Slog……
I’m looking at the photo, wondering what those marks on his left arm are. Even if he did die of a coronary edema, suspicions of suicide caused by anti-gay bullying didn’t just materialize from thin air.
Canuck @5–that’s what my mom did for me. When I couldn’t take it anymore, she let me transfer from full-time school and go to the “independent study” program (which was usually for pregnant teens). I finished ahead of schedule, didn’t face the teasing and harassment, and felt 100% better about my future.
I can’t imagine how bad it would have been if there had been social networking! It was bad enough facing it in person. Having to deal with it at home too would have destroyed me.
I don’t get the second item. It’s been my experience that when students tell teachers that another student is taking drugs, that what they are saying is usually true or at least somewhat on the mark. Also, most parents are in denial regarding their kids’ use of drugs and associated problems.
Were kids bullying the girl? I dunno. Should things have been handled better? Sure sounds like it.
You know i sit here and read all of your coments. And some of them help and others dont. You guys just sit here and talk about bullying and different topics on that. When it comes down to the bottom of it it just needs to be ENDED!!!!!! So stop just sitting there talking about it if you want to make a change DO SOMETHING!!! It doesnt matter if there gay, really dumb, nerdy, or anything else. THEY STILL MIGHT NEED YOUR HELP!!!! So please help, I am a troubled teen in need for someone to help me. And that someone is the same person I am encouraging you to be. PLEASE HELP US!
first offf everyone whos saying that its bullshit and what not about gay bullying being not as bad or that its rediculous were takeing a stand for it, yall are idiots i came out in middle school and it was hell i was tourchered by people abused by my father to the point i was taken out of my home, i had to depend on friends to have a home or have food in my stomach i then turned to numerous amounts of drugs and now im in rehab, and its all because of closed minded people and it angers me to see these beautiful young souls wasted im only 16 and i dont know a hole lot but i do know that people are cruel, people get bullied about being fat, or what not ok, they can loose wait and you can change other things but being gay is a way of life not something we choose i dont give a f*** what christian hillbillys think they are retarted and for your thoughts i hope yall burn in hell, gay bullying is a problem and it needs to stop there for people are making a stand so get the fuck over it and focas on your life not what u can do to make others worse….dumbass’
I think that bullying programs need to be applicable to all students and situations. There should be no child being outcast or alienated from the rest of the school. No matter what the issue is, all students should feel welcome, accepted, and protected.
http://characteredtools.com/bullying.htm…
Please help stop this by signing this petition. Bullying is wrong for any reason. Nobody has the right to put a person down or harass, intimidate, or hurt another human being, for any reason. Please help
http://signon.org/sign/stop-tennessees-l…