Q: How Do You Know When A Vegan Is Coming Over For Dinner?

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Religious fanatics are always unfunny.

Will in Seattle on February 1, 2011 at 2:30 PM

My theory is that a sense of humor somehow counts as a dairy product and that's why vegans aren't allowed to have any.

Proteus on February 1, 2011 at 2:34 PM

@2, lovely lovely.

gloomy gus on February 1, 2011 at 2:35 PM

Heeheeteehee, gufaw!

Vince on February 1, 2011 at 2:35 PM

@2 - great!

original joke - funny - funny because so many vegan's are so humorless about their veganness

myr on February 1, 2011 at 2:39 PM

Can't we just gather all the vegans together and send them to some remote foreign country? Maybe Uzbekistan or something?

Fifty-Two-Eighty on February 1, 2011 at 2:44 PM

in a way i kinda get why vegans are so grumpy about their food. it's an enormous pain in the ass that you can never shake (wherever you go, there you are. and you have to eat sometime), and the obvious response - well, just eat an egg once in a while, for chrissakes - doesn't work if the vegan choice isn't born from some twisted idea of trendiness but from a moral objection to the way animals are treated on the way to becoming our food. that being said, mr. maybury's sign was pretty damn funny. and vegans don't have to be THAT grumpy about their food.

AmyC on February 1, 2011 at 2:44 PM

Sweet jesus, SO true! And have you ever noticed you don't get invites to their house, but you'll get three phone calls detailing acceptable food options for when you're serving dinner? Last time we were even informed *when* we had to eat...

Canuck on February 1, 2011 at 2:45 PM

Another reason Whole Foods sucks.

dwight moody on February 1, 2011 at 2:50 PM

as we all know, vegans' decisionmaking is both generalizable and reducible to following a trend (which is why they chose to be vegan--because so many other people are doing it)

opera cat on February 1, 2011 at 2:50 PM

I don't know any of these types of vegans.

dirge on February 1, 2011 at 2:53 PM

also, a Mr. T joke is "pretty damn funny"? and they say vegans have no sense of humor. after all, the gays in a Gallagher audience should just shut up and take a joke, or not buy any tickets in the first place

which, holy fuck, is exactly the economic pressure Whole Foods is responding to. OMG BATMAN

opera cat on February 1, 2011 at 2:54 PM

More vegan jokes!

seandr on February 1, 2011 at 2:54 PM

Though it's absolutely in character with Mr. T, I wonder if the vague Ebonic construction of "pity the fool who *don't* like..." gave some people pause?

Jubilation T. Cornball on February 1, 2011 at 2:54 PM

@8, Field Roast at five or you're not my friend no more.

gloomy gus on February 1, 2011 at 2:54 PM

Maybe he was fired because he couldn't draw hands? What the hell is Mr. T doing to that steak?

Free Lunch on February 1, 2011 at 2:58 PM

@14 I thought about that, too, but I'm a little doubtful. After all, slog writers/commenters wouldn't criticize a black shopper's offense at the sign, right? So, it can't be that. I mean, that would so...illiberal, criticizing someone like that

opera cat on February 1, 2011 at 2:58 PM

Perhaps this Whole Foods store realized that the artist had used Mr. T's image and catchphrase in a commercial environment without permission. Any PR person would sense that a potential Mr. T public butt-chewing would not be good for their brand.

He may be pushing 60, but he's still not a dude I'd cross in public, private or the press.

Sir Vic on February 1, 2011 at 3:03 PM

Vegan or no vegan, crybabies are the fucking WORST. The sign was a weak joke, not any kind of harassment.

Parsnip on February 1, 2011 at 3:05 PM

I'm vegan, and I'm very offended by this sign, but only because it's a clear ripoff of City Market's signs.

http://www.flickr.com/groups/citymarkets…

raku on February 1, 2011 at 3:06 PM

Oh, I just noticed the sign shows Mr. T eating the corpse of a murder victim. I'm very offended by that too.

raku on February 1, 2011 at 3:08 PM

Geez, people. Why the vegan hatred? I would love to see an admission by the slog folks that they throw jibes in at "those crazy vegans, yuk yuk" just to get more comments and page hits. (Yeah, I know, I'm commenting, therefore adding to the response.)

I make kick-ass vegan desserts and bring cookies to work, bake cakes for friends, etc. I've also had dinner parties where I make a shitton of vegan food for friends, to show how tasty/easy being vegan can be. If I'm going to a friend's house for dinner, I make sure to bring a dish with me (and, yes, I let the hosts know beforehand, so they don't feel like I'm insulting their hospitality and culinary efforts by bringing a dish).

I wonder if it's time to get out defensive omnivore bingo again.
http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/…

on February 1, 2011 at 3:12 PM

Ahh, the poor vegans can't catch a break. My best girl is a vegan, although she's about the most polite and tactful vegan on the planet, never says a thing about my burgers. That said, she DOES get grilled all the time about her food choices, which I can imagine gets pretty fucking old. That, and people try to sneak stuff into her food that she doesn't eat. Not cool, brah.

Also, fuck. That sign is tremendously ugly. That doesn't look like Mr. T at all. Hunk of steak with a mohawk.

More, I Say! on February 1, 2011 at 3:13 PM

Kelly O, is Tim Keck threatening to lay you off? You seem hell bent on generating revenue the last couple days. I don't want you to lose your job and if trolling up some vegan hate is what it takes, I'm all for it.

You know what else you could do? Take more pictures of boobs. Money in that, am I right?

The Wretched Harmony on February 1, 2011 at 3:18 PM

If only that were a promise with these guys, gus...it was dinner at 5:30 (who eats that early, except for toddlers?) and spelt pasta, cripes... I run fast in the other direction now...

Canuck on February 1, 2011 at 3:19 PM

I started living with a vegetarian who made the comment, "I think we shouldn't share pots and pans because you eat meat." Even though I wash them. With my own hands. In the sink. And, I don't cook meat at home. At all.

I hate vegetarians like that.

This should be a joke because its so damned ridiculous.

TheMisanthrope on February 1, 2011 at 3:22 PM

@14 If it did, then they are waaaaay too fucking P.C. for their own good. If that's going to offend someone, then they might as well rage at Mr. T for making that his catch phrase in the first place.

And yeah, I'll criticize a vegan for getting offended at that sign too. Whole Foods sells steak! If you're going to get offended by a sign advertising steak at a store that sells steak, you might as well rage at Whole Foods for selling meat in the first place.

And yes, @12, I would criticize a gay audience at a Gallagher show for buying tickets to see an known and unrepentant homophobe rant and smash fruit.

Hernandez on February 1, 2011 at 3:22 PM

I'm a vegan and I'm offended because I don't want an angry black man yelling at me!

dare-ill on February 1, 2011 at 3:25 PM

@27 I didn't know he was homophobic until lindy's article

opera cat on February 1, 2011 at 3:28 PM

Didn't someone in some sort of management position have to approve the sign before the public sees it?

Simone on February 1, 2011 at 3:30 PM

Things this sign is not:

1) Offensive
2) Funny (I mean, it's not unfunny, but it's not like you're going to read it and laugh or anything.)
3) Well-executed.

And yeah, I'm vegan and no, I would not have complained about it. If that's even what happened. ("More or less got me pushed out"?)

Levislade on February 1, 2011 at 3:43 PM

One has to ask yourself, if you drive a 13 mpg truck 2 hours to work each day, with the air conditioning on full blast, can you really call yourself a Vegan?

Will in Seattle on February 1, 2011 at 3:45 PM

Why would black people be offended by a picture of Mr. T. Isn't he one of their leaders?

McGee on February 1, 2011 at 3:48 PM

I feel like I know 5 sane, rational & super nice vegans to every 1 crazy irrational one.
But that is just anecdotal evidence.

Tragic they didn't think this advertisement was dumb then just then keep walkin'.....

Andy_Squirrel on February 1, 2011 at 4:06 PM

Does it take thirty-five fucking posts for someone to realize that Kelly O can't spell today? We're talking about a cut of beef, not a honorific for a large tan cat.

venomlash on February 1, 2011 at 4:16 PM

I meant to say sir-lion! Sheesh.
(no I didn't. noted. changed. thank you.)

Kelly O on February 1, 2011 at 4:48 PM

The sign should have been for t-bone steaks!

Tingleyfeeln on February 1, 2011 at 5:38 PM

Thirty-eight comments to notice this wouldn't have happened at a union store?

gloomy gus on February 1, 2011 at 6:06 PM

@38: Thank you!
You know, I've noticed that Slog commenters LOVE to pile-on with two types of people: Vegans and folks perceived as overweight. These are contradictions, wouldn't you say?

bhowie on February 1, 2011 at 6:31 PM

@39: I've actually met a lot of fat vegans. There are many horrible convenience foods that don't include anything derived from an animal. Or food, for that matter.

judgmentalist on February 1, 2011 at 9:11 PM

@32
"One has to ask yourself, if you drive a 13 mpg truck 2 hours to work each day, with the air conditioning on full blast, can you really call yourself a Vegan?"

Those dinosaurs are already dead, man.

on February 1, 2011 at 10:19 PM

I've done hundreds of chalkboards for Whole Foods Market. It has always been clear that my job, like any other commercial artist is to sell product. I've have made horrible chalkboards, eliciting complaints, on several occasions, but have never been "fired" or "pressured to quit", nor has anyone I've worked with in the last 7 years. I think this fellow had other interests, mainly comics, which is a rich and valuable art form (of which I am huge supporter). I think he maybe he had put a comment on his blog about feeling pressured to change his style, compared it to being feeling like being fired, or doesn't understand the job, and it's just snowballed. It's snowballed here, on Boing Boing and lots of other sites, into arguments and insults about vegans, art and Whole Foods. I think it's just another example of bloggers wanting to show someone else a picture, with a story, to elicit a reaction, then moving on to the next internet tidbit, of which they also had nothing to do with. It is to the detriment of vegans, commercial art, Whole Foods and discourse. The fact that he (or the re-posting bloggers) don't offer any follow-up, even now, is suspect.

mattereaterlad on February 1, 2011 at 10:27 PM

I'm vegan and I would never go into Whole Foods expecting it to be some kind of meat-free sanctuary. If you're walking through the meat section, that's probably offensive enough. A child's rendering of a racial stereotype shouldn't send anyone into hysterics. It's not something to get worked up about.

I actually expect this level of stupidity from pretty much every establishment I enter. People who eat meat are constantly glorifying themselves with their own bullshit, like meat is some kind of revolution or whatever. Zzzzzzzzzzz.

pwnd on February 1, 2011 at 11:15 PM

There are still vegans? All the vegans that I know started eating meat years ago.

PRS-1 on February 1, 2011 at 11:18 PM

I got a blow job from a vegan once. And she swallowed.

on February 2, 2011 at 6:31 AM

@45 for the win!

BostonFontSnob on February 2, 2011 at 9:12 AM

What's the vegan supposed to do? Is the vegan not supposed to tell the host? And then show up and not eat anything?

I get the joke, sure, and some vegans -like some meat eaters - take their personal preferences too far, but sheesh! You have to tell the party host in order to polite. Usually with an offer to bring something, as well, which I've almost always heard/done and consider super-polite. Beacause of my (vegetarian+fish) dietary preferences I bring my own food (I don't ask for my own special serving) to our company lunches, and I almost always get a hard time about not eating the meat covered pizza. "what?!? You don't eat meat?!?" Seriously, I just want to be left alone, and only say something when asked or in order to be polite. So to second what was said above, it does get old after a while. But it takes a special vegan/omnivore to complain about a bad mr t sign.

in-frequent on February 2, 2011 at 10:15 AM

Vegans don't care if you eat meat, or at least this one doesn't. Mr. T kind of looks deranged, but anyone who is offended by the sign needs to get a life.

vsgirl86 on February 2, 2011 at 10:57 AM

@47 Yes the vegan can tell the host, but it should be before actually accepting the invitation, and should not accept at all if they have objections to others eating meat while in their presence, in which case they should always politely decline.

It can run something like this: Mr. Omnivore to Ms. Vegan: "Would you like to come to dinner Saturday?" Ms. V: "Well, I'd love to, but I am vegan and I wouldn't want to put you to any trouble." Mr. O: "Thats not a problem, I was going to make a salad anyway and I can easily pop a yam in the oven. If that's alright?"

Ms. Vegan says to self, "I can always eat a few nuts on the way over" Mr. O says to self, "I should have hummus as an appetizer."

There. No one is put out.

thatsnotright on February 2, 2011 at 11:37 AM

@49 - or, the polite host, when making the invitation asks, "Do you have dietary limitations I should bear in mind?" and the guest responds, "well, I don't eat any animal products, and I'm gluten-free," to which the polite host responds, "We'll be serving spaghetti - how would pasta sauce over spaghetti squash be for you?"

Geni on February 2, 2011 at 12:51 PM

What does that Mr T sign have to do with race or vegans? Seems like a case of people looking to find offence whereever they can find it.

on February 2, 2011 at 12:53 PM

(In other words, this is rocket science, and it doesn't have to be difficult. It's not that hard to cater to people's dietary preferences. I don't serve salmon to guests who hate fish, and I don't serve bread to guests who are wheat-free. It's just not that big a deal to make a few adjustments in the menu, or offer one modified entree.)

(And for chrissakes, don't just offer a vegan a salad! There are plenty of entrees that can be made without animal products. Make chili, or a nice bean soup. Offer a little pan of meat on the side for those who like it. Offer a dish of grated cheese for those who want cheese.)

Geni on February 2, 2011 at 12:54 PM

"isn't" rocket science. goddammit, I wish I could edit Slog posts...

Geni on February 2, 2011 at 12:55 PM

@32 WiS for the non-sequitur of the day!

But on that note, will, are fossil fuels vegan?

More, I Say! on February 2, 2011 at 1:50 PM

@54 no idea, but that's why my WoW undead rogue in Durotan is named Veganpitbull.

Coal probably is vegan though. Oil ... probably not. Unless it's from dead baby seals that committed suicide.

Will in Seattle on February 2, 2011 at 1:56 PM

sorry Kelly-O, that joke IS hilarious because it's TRUE.

Vegans are the hippie equivalent of republican birthers and teabaggers.

Wanna be vegan? awesome. Shut. The fuck. up. about it.

Nobody else cares.

sonder on February 2, 2011 at 1:56 PM

@49 see, your post almost assumes it's normally done in a rude way. What about my post made it seemed like I wasn't suggesting the vegan be polite and timely to the host? It's a strange bias - like the post directly above this one - that assumes both that vegans are socially inept and that vegans care to harass you about what you eat.

in-frequent on February 2, 2011 at 4:13 PM

@56 agreed, and can all you defensive meaters STFU about vegans already? You passive-aggressive b's are way more annoying than the vegans themselves -- most of whom keep their habits to themselves, truth be told.

Banjax on February 2, 2011 at 4:17 PM

Just imagine if it was Al Sharpton pushing foie gras.

Rob in Baltimore on February 2, 2011 at 6:53 PM

@57 I had no intention of implying that vegans are rude or in the wrong when mentioning their dietary preferences. In fact, I was agreeing with you. I was trying to show that both sides can have a polite and frankdialogue about diet and dining together.
It is really not any diiferent were I to invite a Jewish person who keeps kosher without knowing it and they let me know they don't dine in non-kosher homes, there's no implication of rudeness on either side if no rudeness is meant.

thatsnotright on February 2, 2011 at 8:24 PM

nuthin like a completely unpassive, completely aggressive meat eater to put them rude vegans in their place.

onion on February 3, 2011 at 11:50 PM

What is this "vegans won't shut up about being vegans" BS? My conversations about my dietary choices always seem to go more like this:

Me: Yum, this is good hummus.
Them: Yeah, whatever. Here, have some bacon.
Me: No thanks, I'm good.
Them: Oh, but bacon is awesome. Have some bacon.
Me: No thanks, I don't eat bacon.
Them: Are you vegetarian or something?
Me: Yeah. Can you pass the fruit?
Them: Are you VEGAN? God, I couldn't do that. My doctor told me I have to eat meat.
Me: Yup. So, what about that Super Bowl?
Them: I tried being vegetarian, but I couldn't give up bacon. My doctor told me I was anemic and I needed to eat red meat.
Me: Uh huh.

Seriously, I've heard this conversation a lot more times than I've heard vegans bitching about being oppressed. My brother-in-law strikes up a conversation about bacon every single time I see him, I swear to god.

rca on February 4, 2011 at 10:59 PM

Q: How Do You Know When A Vegan Is Coming Over For Dinner?

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