These posters wound up in my inbox (thanks, Ben!) and at first I thought they were satire on the healing powers of religion—God as a quack doc, Jesus as the most inept RN ever.
And then I remembered my grandparents’ neighbor, a retired farmer who found out he had lung cancer. He went to chemo a few times and then quit.
Turns out he conferred with God, who told him to drink “hay tea” (hot water with straw in it) and that would cure him. Six months later, the man claimed he was cured, though he never checked with a doc to confirm this.
A few weeks later he was dead.
And while visiting religious pregnancy centers last week (which present themselves as “medical clinics”—even though most of them don’t have docs or nurses on staff), I was repeatedly asked how an abortion would affect my relationship with God—and how would that, in turn, affect my mental and physical health. They gave me pamphlets that read, “What is God’s desire for you in this situation? How does God see your unborn child?”
Hey! After abortions, maybe God could just prescribe women with “two caplets of clear conscience” and we could all move on with our lives!
My point is, seeing spirituality as an allegorical cure for what ails you is fine. But start substituting God for real medical care (or imposing him on others in lieu of real medical care) and, as you’ll see below, you’re doing nothing but playing games with your health and making God the target of a pretty hefty malpractice suit.
More medical advice from the Lord after the jump.
God needs an Art Director.
You should have asked those good Christian folk if they were pregnant with Adolph Hitler..would they have an abortion?
I am afraid that the prescription has just resulted in my producing three and half cups of vomit.
I really liked God’s column in the Stranger this week.
If God wanted someone to know his opinions on their pregnancy, why wouldn’t he just tell them himself?
Or might one assume his abject silence on the matter to be sufficient to conclude he don’t give a rat’s patootie?
Sounds like the Republican health care plan for the uninsured and poor.
@2 “No, because it is God’s will.” Or some crap response like that. Remember: “All things work togehter to the glory of God.” Like child rape and genocide.
This prescription causes emesis.
From your inbox to Slog’s ears.
You know, I would go into a rant about God proving how much of a shit he gives about his faithful through prayer studies, but the sheer awfulness of the initial layout and the gross torture of the later pictures have made me ill. Maybe I’ll go take a homeopathic remedy (a glass of water) to get the taste of sugar out of my mouth.
Is the chick all ghostly because she died from lack of medical care?
I like her flapper hair.
jesus and me got drunk…he is the KING OF BEERS.
Did your grandparents’ neighbor commit suicide, or was he murdered by his religious leaders?
@12 but God prefers hard cider. In pints.
Mind you, he’s been known to indulge in wine and women too. Them Nazareth babes are hawt!
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3217/3015…
That woman looks like she’s planning on eating those flowers.
@15: Are you telling Cienna she needs to stop posting on SLOG? And seriously, when did you start only posting replies in 4chan memes?
The fact that any “god” would design a being that is constantly falling apart and getting sick and all kinda tells you something about god’s designing skills.
Ah’m thighnkang thayat Gawd’s tayaking cayah of dem whayat Amairakins real good. Ah kain’t see no people of culluh up thayah. Ah dint know till I cayame down heah dat whayat Amairakin Pepsicolans & Protestants gots der own puhsonul Jaysus and Gawd who wrote diffrunt Bahbuls fer dem so dey dont hafta shayah.