Comments

1
"...being crippled or black" ??? Fucking lunatic... I vote for a constitutional ban on vegans !

Was this "douchetard" born vegan? Or was that a choice he made?

Again, fucking lunatic.
2
Why do people think that illiterate rants are going to help their cause? Do people think that they will? Are they aware that their rants are barely readable with their poor grammar, spelling and lack of cohesive structure?

I feel quite comfortable betting that the average well-written SLOG reader is older, wiser, more educated and much more cynical (therefore less impressionable) than SALAD.
3
Some people can be so ugly. Was it Ghandi who said something like "Be the change you want to see in others"?
4
Wow...an illiterate, homophobic vegan. I just need to find a Birther vegetarian and a Quaker gun nut and I'll finally have my incoherent ideology bingo!
5
Immature? I'm pushing 60. Don't think so. But yeah, it's OK to trash vegans. By all means, have at it.
6
Technique is only a component of cooking. In most cooking, quality of ingredients is far more important than technique.

I don't trust a man who won't consume animal tissue. Also don't trust a man who won't drink. Also don't trust a man who insists on the superiority of the corpus of the English language.
7
I would think that if your mistress makes you eat bland slop, going to a vegan restaurant would be a slight step up. so it was really a compliment.

8
see i also think dan savage is a fuckup idiot and i look forward to the day he leaves the stranger and hopefully seattle

but it has nothing to do with being gay

i just think he's a typical arrogant idiot who can go fuck himself

so i troll his slog posts all day :)
9
Sheesh, relax sensitive vegan! He's just making fun of cooking for christ sake.
10
I have an urge to eat a nice veal chop followed with a sirloin chaser.
11
You don't win friends with SALAD.
12
Personally, I've always like that bar stool joke. It's just such a strange visual image. And I'm about as gay as they come.
13
Dan, you once made a joke about self-righteous douchebags in your column, and as a self-righteous douchebag, I'll have you know that I felt quite bullied indeed.

I said nothing at the time, I just quietly wept to myself. But thanks to SALAD, I now have the courage to speak up. On behalf of self-righteous douchebags everywhere, stop the bullying, Savage!
14
Hehe. Oh, the poor, poor oppressed vegan. I wonder if he writes these unintelligible, rambling emails to Alton Brown, too. I went to an Alton Brown talk and book signing where he spent basically the whole of the Q&A making fun of a vegan. All the poor maligned vegan did was ask the meanie Alton if he'd do some vegan episodes of his popular show. Obviously this type of abuse by the media elite needs to stop.
15
Just for that assault on grammar, SALAD, and because I'm cranky today, I'm going to feed my kid some meat in your name tonight. Bon apetit!
16
Somebody needs to make a viral internet video of four guys sitting on a bar stool.
17
I always thought Dan's anti-Veganism was pretty funny. That said, would love to take Dan out to Chowpatti out by Westshore Mall next time he's in Chicago. They have tasty delicious vegan food! Omnomonom!
18
In fact, I suggest Four Guys, One Bar Stool as a video for the next Hump.
19
WTF? some vegans think they occupy some special place in the word that requires us to bow down to something that is merely a dietary choice and and nothing more. I am an omnivore, but there are some foods I choose not to eat however I don't make a big deal about my choices and I don't preach at others to not eat haggis. There are vegans who do no witness for veganism and who are just matter of factly vegan. They don't judge others over something as trivial as their diets.
As for vegans like the letter writer things will only get better for them when they realize that dietary choices are not something that should become what defines you. We are not impressed that you don't consume animal products and we are not going to treat you with deference. Your chances of converting the world to veganism are zero and omnivores should deride and mock the vegans who want to guilt trip us out of our dietary choices.
20
The reason people rip on vegans all the time is the same reason people rip on Jehovah's Witnesses: they evangelize and give everyone who isn't exactly like them a hard time about eating animals, wearing leather, eating cheese and yogurt, etc. The first rule of civilized society, as set down by George Carlin (Joe bless him), is "Thou Shalt Keep Thine Religion To Thineself". Once you begin to violate this rule by going "EW!" when I have a grilled cheese sandwich, or by giving me grief because of my $300 leather Fluevogs, you open yourself up to merciless ridicule. MERCILESS.

I don't care if you don't eat animals or animal products or wear leather. I don't care if you think it's okay for PETA to send naked women into the streets of Seattle in the middle of winter to protest people eating fish or some shit. If you don't want me to make fun of you for it, don't fucking tell me about it. And no, that's not the same as me telling a gay person that I don't want to see their gay. Being a self-righteous idiot is a choice.
22
@18

To get extra credit this year, it should be a seven-legged bar stool.
23
I'm not even a vegan or vegetarian and I pretty much agree with this guy, Dan should stay away from this topic, he is just alienating people for no good reason.

Dan is one of those guys that I idolized at first but the more I listen to him, read his writing and actually listen to people's criticisms of his own personal bigotry, the less I respect him. It is sad in a way because he really accomplishes quite a bit of good in the world. I'm losing faith in you Dan.
24
And you know, the bar stool joke/movie doesn't have to be about gay people.

"Four guys who enjoy getting pegged walk into a bar with limited seating....."
25
Dogmatic vegans are incredibly obnoxious. The absolute worst are dogmatic anarcho-vegans.
26
Some people, on a restricted diet that requires greater scrutiny to balance of protein versus carbohydrates, don't fare so well and deteriorate into brain fog or dementia as a result of nutritional deficiency. When I hear of vegans turning klepto or smashing tofu pie into authors' faces or writing hostile letters I don't automatically think of moral gentle people: I think of fatigued individuals who aren't getting the adequate fats and nutrients their brains need to work well.
27
Fluevogs? Ew. I don't care about the leather, but you lose points for fugly.
28
Never thought I'd wade through something that made the nigerian prince posts comprehensible in comparison.

And I say that as someone who likes & appreciates vegan food (though I eat many things besides vegan).
29
And of course, the offensive joke at the beginning of the letter is also offensive to straight people. Believe it or not, it's not ONLY gay guys who enjoy having objects crammed in their rectal orifice now and then.

Enjoying having a prostate don't make you gay.
30
And at this point, Andy Squirrel is running neck-and-neck with WiS for the title of the biggest idiot on Slog, so I don't think I'd worry too much about what he has to say either.
31
No trees were harmed in the making of this vegan's cross.
32
As a vegan for a little over a decade now, I would like apologize to anyone that has ever had to deal with someone like this. Jesus christ.
33
@31, Coal to generate the electricity necessary to push information through the intertubes.
34
As a vegetarian, I'm ashamed to be associated with this imbecile. Ugh.

Look, I'd rather not be the butt of jokes (and I have been, not just for being vegetarian) but come on already. If you can't handle it, don't be a vegan. It's a choice. (Unless you have allergies or can no longer digest meat, I guess. I accidentally ate something with fish flakes in it, and the stomach pain was not fun...)

Anyway, Dan isn't bullying us. He was poking fun, maybe, but you should take it with a grain of salt. Jeeze.

Regardless... Don't give SALADS more fodder to complain about. That's what they're looking for. It makes them feel self-righteous and justified in spewing out ridiculous rants like this one. "See! I'm being oppressed!"

And enjoy your meat, @10! Just don't put any on my plate, and you can have as much as you want.
35
@11--I choked on my coffee--awesome retort.
37
People don't hate vegans because they're vegans...

People hate vegans because they act like uppity children whenever someone says the word vegan. Really, vegans? In no way is your inability to find a vegan restaurant a comparable plight to the persecution and murder of gay people around the world. How many vegans have been murdered for being flamboyantly vegan? None.

He is right about the left handed thing though. I'm left handed and I think its the only reason I haven't gotten laid yet.
38
More proof that most vegans are preachy douchebag
39
Too much red meat? Too little? Don't know, care even less.
41
@38 - see SALAD? Fuck you, you're not helping.
42
The main reason I stay out of jail is to avoid eating the food.
I don't eat meat but I really don't care if anyone jokes about it.
43
Well, no one is here reppin' for southpaws, so as a leftie myself, let me just say....I definitely did not choose to be left handed. Yes, I know it's super-cool and unique and it definitely makes me more interesting and more attractive, and I know you're really jealous and you're only saying that because you secretly wish you were as left-handed as me, but alas, as that one person who sings the songs the kids like says, "I was born this way" or something like that.
44
I'm left handed, and I choose not to write right-handed in much the same way that squid choose not to roller-skate.
45
We shouldn't judge, it's possible that the lack of B vitamins has caused irreversible neurological damage.
46
11 FTW.
47
@Capelletti, thank you for providing proof not all vegans are dogmatic pricks. As a vegetarian who mostly keeps his vegetarianism to himself, I hate automatically being associated in most people's minds with the most vocal and obnoxious segment of herbivores. We should be allies, but their hardline approach is incredibly divisive and alienating.
48
bitch needs a baccon burger.
49
Heh, that bartstool joke reminds me of Wednesday night, my first time pegging a guy and then fisting another guy (his wife instructed me through it).

Ah, good times. ^w^

So glad the vegans/vegetarians I know are SANE! I didn't even know one was until I asked why she didn't go for the leather riding crop.
50
To clarify, SALAD, is being right handed a choice? Or only left handed? I'm pretty sure I could write with my left hand if I chose to. My handwriting would be pretty illegible, I'd be super uncomfortable, have to concentrate extermely hard and even with years of practice I think I'd still be better at using my right hand. I've hurt my right hand before making it nearly impossible to do super mundane things like unlock my door, open a door, turn on a faucet, etc. And for some reason I still tried to do all these things with my right hand, seemingly unconsciously. Perhaps I'm just really bad at the whole choice thing but my brain and my body seem bent on this choice I made as an infant to be right hand dominate.
51
Uh, just so you all know, there are a lot of vegans and vegetarians out there who aren't in your face about it. You'd never know if you didn't eat together, etc. Or even if you did eat together.

I say this because I once had the following conversation.

"I don't know why, but I've never met or heard of a male vegetarian," I was saying to a friend of mine at lunch. "All the ones I know are girls. I don't think that there are any."

"I'm a vegetarian?" he offered, shrugging. "And there are a couple mote. There's another one in the CS Department."

I was pretty embarrassed. I don't even remember why the topic came up, but we'd been friends for years...

People know I'm a vegetarian because I mostly socialize at the cafeteria and other events that involve food. At first, some acquaintances tried making fun of me and noisily eating meat in front of me, but once they realized that I didn't care if they ate meat, they cut it out.

I think you have a right to eat meat, and I have a right to not eat meat. I accept that this means I can't go to some restaurants and my choices are limited in a lot of places. All I ask is, well... Don't assume we're all jerks or idiots just because we aren't vocal about our vegetarian-ness.

And, yeah, SALADS? You really aren't helping our situation at all, and people like you are the ones who make everything harder for me and my non-preachy vegetarianism. Please stop. Please.
52
Keziah: No thanks, I'm a fruitarian.
Max: I didn't realize that.
William: And, ahm: what exactly is a fruitarian?
Keziah: We believe that fruits and vegetables have feeling so we think cooking is cruel. We only eat things that have actually fallen off a tree or bush - that are, in fact, dead already.
William: Right. Right. Interesting stuff. So, these carrots...
Keziah: Have been murdered, yes.
William: Murdered? Poor carrots. How beastly!
53
Oh my!
54
I also love that 4 gays on a bar stool joke... for some reason it also reminds me of that joke "if you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me!" I'm not sure if it's because I'm looking for 3 other people to share a stool with or because both seem like fairly stereotypical gay behaviors that I'm proud to exhibit. Because seriously, if I don't get the benefit of ass fucking or being a judgmental bitch, what's the point of being a homo -- except for the love of my partner and all?

...

Okay, that was my attempt to do a rambling response in the style of SALAD. But I can't do it. Parodying shitty writing is really fucking hard.

Also, agreed -- 11 FTW.
55
I can find any number of vegan media outlets that refer to eating meat as a disgusting practice. I have listened to vegans openly state that cooking my great-grandmother's sauce recipe is a moral travesty. I have been told by vegans who have never sucked my dick that they know for a fact my semen tastes horrible! I'm sure there are some NALT vegans out there, and they need to speak up and tell their poorly behaved brethren to shut it!
56
I'm so slow! *more, not mote. Silly autocorrect... Sorry about that.
57
Give SALAD a break, guys. I'd be crank too if my lack if protien intake was forcing my body to cannibalize itself.
58
@51. I agree, to a point. I'm not interested in being self-righteous or preachy about my dietary choices. At the same time however, I'm not going to sit back and pretend that I think using animal products is ok, if I'm confronted about it.

The operative phrase there is "If I'm confronted about it."

And I'm sorry, but asking for a vegan option, even to Alton Best-Anal-Retentive-Chef-Impression-Since-Phil-Hartman Brown, doesn't deserve mockery, scorn or ridicule. A simple answer would suffice.
59
If ever you need evidence that fanaticism transcends ideology...
60
This letter illustrates my entire problem with the concept fo privilege. Instead of focusing on commonalities of oppressed minorities we decide that our own minority is the most oppressed or that if nothing else everyone else has it better than we do. It's a tool invented by the elites to sow dissent among the lower class. And we're swallowing it hook line and sinker.
61
@11: I love you.
62
@58 - I don't know. I think a vegan asking Alton Brown to do an episode arch that caters to their personal dietary choices should expect to get mocked. Just as anyone writing to Dan Savage should expect to get mocked. It's not like this vegan accidentally ended up in the 1st row, dead-center of an Alton Brown reading. She knew about his feelings on veganism and vegetarianism, she knew about his humor and she asked anyway. (Oh, and I know she knew about his feelings on veganism because she mentioned them in her question so I'm not assuming anything.)
63
someone doesn't know the meaning of the word "bully." a snarky comment conveying dan's belief that vegan food is tasteless is not bullying. you have not been bullied, SALAD. your kind has not been maligned, your rights have not been challenged, your choices are not threatened by dan's snark. maybe this just proves you need to eat food with creatine and taurine in it...? you, know, to chase away the crazy?
64
oh, and zrob @ 60: spot on. very, very good point indeed.
65
@58, Ah, so you're doing it for moral reasons? Yeah, I can see how that'd be harder. I do have moral beliefs on the subject, but they're too complicated to bother getting into here. My main reason for being a vegetarian is environmental issues. I don't see meat eating as something immoral, although I myself can't bring myself to do it any more.

This is actually the case with a lot of my moral and political beliefs.

I do agree very strongly with your second point, though. Also, if I'm confronted about it, I'll defend myself. There are plenty of people who want to tell me that I'm unhealthy, not doing what I was designed to do, and so forth. (Well, those are the most logical and least rude things, anyway.) I'm eating more healthfully now than I was as an omnivore... Also, it helped me get over my picky eating.
66
this is just like those slutwalk uber feminists
67
And, @62, what are Alton Brown's views on vegetarianism? I just figured he was an ordinary TV chef. Does he have something against vegetarians? I've never heard of him before.
68
Any argument that employs such awful grammar, terrible sentence structure and such obvious typos in the age of spell check (not to mention its strident and condescending tone in a letter about being oppressed) is rightfully dismissed out-of-hand.
69
I try to encourage as many people as I can to become vegan, but strictly for my own economic self-interest. If you all would please consume more vegan food, it would drive down the price of cheese, bacon, and corndogs for the rest of us.
70
Couldn't get through the 4th sentence. Bad grammar and worse sentence structure drives me nuts.
71
Someone (and I won't mention SALADS by name) is obviously jonesing for some beef and cock.
72
@66 oh, please enlighten us on how.....(really I want to see you dig the hole, please explain to use why women should expect to be raped)
73
SALAD,

It's because of people like you that sometimes if my vegetarianism comes up in conversation, people will immediately get defensive and start telling me why they aren't vegetarian. I always assure them that I respect the dietary choices of others and give the example of how my husband isn't vegetarian.

Your rant is often incoherent and offensive. You owe an apology to those you, to use your own term, have "pissed on" in your letter to Dan.
74
Paper thin skin is a symptom of the malnourishment caused by a diet lacking animal protein.
75
Aardvark, has anyone told you that you're an imbecile? Because you need to be told that as often as possible.
76
"I'll going to get right on that"?

It's either "I'm going to get right on that" or "I'll get right on that"

PICK A SIDE
77
SALADS has a point, Dan, you are a bully and a hypocrite at times. But they're also wrong, some things do get better. Make it better for everyone by giving someone 2 minutes of your time.
78
@11 - to follow on others: Total fucking win.
79
I'm pretty sure if we were as immature and easily inflamed as SALAD, lefties could raise at least as much of a stink. There are plenty of things that are biased toward right-handed people (that righties don't even notice.) We don't, though, because most lefties don't define themselves by their handedness.

(Though, as a side note, I enjoy talking to a couple of wgst people I know... when they correct me on "mankind" or something, I tell them I'll start saying "humankind" instead of "mankind" if they start saying "correct" instead of "right"...)
80
I've never met a vegan who wasn't a total weirdo.
81
@77 - you usually make sense, DM. Are you mimicing SALADS' incoherent style to mock him?
82
Wow; this guy is almost whiny enough to be a teabagger. Way to give John Stewart more ammo for his "both sides are equally crazy" bullshit.
83
What a hot mess.

In other news, I saw the It Gets Better Google Chrome ad for the first time last night during The Office. Loved it! :)
84
@11: I must also conga on in and add my applause.

@72 & 75: Thank you. Aardvark needs a good smacking.

On topic: I know quite a few vegetarians/vegans and only one of them ever made me want to kill and eat her. We took her to Café Flora, which is a wonderful vegetarian/vegan restaurant, and she still did nothing but whine that there was nothing offered that she would like to eat. So maybe it's the fact that we remember the whiners that gives vegans a negative rep?
85
I've been vegetarian now for 14 years, and I've never told anyone not to eat meat. Most vegans/vegetarians mind their own business and politely answer questions about their diet only when asked.

The lesson here is that some people are overly sensitive, reactionary loudmouths, some are not. Abortions for some, tiny AmeriKKKan flags for others.
86
I just couldn't think of enough incoherent word pairings to adequately imitate SALAD so this will have to do: SALAD, When you make a judgement about a person or group of people (all readers of the SLOG) you're saying nothing about them and everything about you. As your "mature" name calling has demonstrated, people aren't going to flock to your cause because you belittle them.
87
I thought Dan's original response, where he told the guy to go to a Vegan restaurant, was one of the funniest things he's ever written.
88
Get a sense of humor about yourself.
89
@72 "please explain to use why women should expect to be raped"

that's what I'm talking about. im not saying that. you are. it's a joke. here's another analogy ive thought about for this- the point is that women who dress slutty or put themselves in certain situations are not to blame if they get assaulted. well, if i park under the viaduct or on the yesler bridge, and leave my laptop on the seat, am i to blame if my car gets broken into and laptop stolen? not really, but sort of. i could have used some better fucking judgement. its the same thing.

@75, feeling's mutual. if you have an argument, lets here it. otherwise fuck off.
90
Well, at least the guy has a reasonable measure of self-awareness. Even he realizes that he is a douchetard.
91
I speak on behalf of barstools everywhere when I say: just because we are always ready, willing, and eager to do four people of any gender and orientation simultaneously, we have needs, too. If you're going to keep teasing us by repeating this joke, you've gotta put out.
92
God I hate fucking vegans, and it's not because of Dan Savage. It's because of the FUCKING VEGANS LIKE THIS.
93
@aardvark, I'm not sure if you've been told this before, but you're an imbecile.
94
@93 im fucking right too!
95
Geez, gay vegans must be downright intolerable.

Plus the stupid joke wouldn't work for them...there's no way anything else is going up their ass.
96
Yeah, I don't trust vegans who don't mind other people eating meat. Unless they're vegans because they don't like the taste of meat, obviously.

But if you think animals have reason and feelings and it's wrong to kill them then how can you not mind people killing them? It would be like not raping and murdering people because you think it's wrong but being OK with other people's choice to rape and murder. Something seriously wrong about that attitude.
97
I know quite a few vegans, and none of them are militant psychos. I'm sure there are people who do fit into the 'Angry Vegan' stereotype, but this letter is just ridiculously over the top- I'm guessing someone's trolling here.
98
I'm a pretty serious carnivore, but really look forward to the day that vegan-bashing goes out of style. It's just such a tedious cliché (as are the people doing it).
99
"Being gay is not as difficult as being crippled or black. Its like being left handed. 10% always have been/will be, and sure it's a choice; You can use your right hand if you want to , it just doesnt feel as comfy."

But your right hand won't care if it finds out you're living a lie.
100
I love vegetarian food but I love meat too. I've only had vegan restaurant food a couple of times, and I liked it, except when I accidentally ordered a curry that had tofu in it (description didn't mention tofu, which I HATE) and that wasn't so fun.

My sister is mostly vegetarian because she only eats free-range animals because she's anti-cage and anti-meat-industry and you really can never tell what is truly free-range, especially here in the US. I can't understand why she won't eat fish in that case - I mean, they're fished out of the ocean...but it's her choice.
101
Letterman* said that due to a typo, Osama got to heaven and there were 72 vegans... :(

*plays a funny jerk on TV
102
Maybe the web has made me a paranoid cynic, but sometimes I wonder if people like SALAD are actually online parodies designed to undermine respect for the people they claim to speak for. Part of me thinks SALAD is anti-vegan and trying to discredit veganism. If so, "heckuva job, Brownie!"

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