Comments are closed.
Commenting on this item is available only to members of the site. You can sign in here or create an account here.
My, my, how times have changed.
(yes, yes, I know, Mr. Ryan isn't advocating a total cease-and-desist, but you get where I'm coming from.)
Oh, and AEC is gay.
Yeah, this letter is either pure bullshit or the work of a tremendous attention whore. If this guy were truly concerned, he'd be questioning his own sexuality instead of spending so much time talking about how satisfied his girlfriend is, how pleasantly surprised he is by his own performance, etc. etc.
This is, of course, the greasy road to unbridled faggotry seeing as your preferred gender of partners is a total free choice 'n' all, but I'd be doing my ilk a disservice if I didn't get in the recruiting plug.
My recommendation: First, you have to know that she wants you to spray her insides with *your* cum. Honestly, truly.
Second, stop masturbating cold turkey. Even if you have sex with her and you don't ejaculate, don't masturbate afterward. Your body will hate you, but your cock will want to blow so hard it'll be that much easier next time. After a while, when having sex, you'll feel an orgasm closer and closer and instead of your shameful brain pushing it away, your now-very-aware brain will say, "it's okay, let it all go"...
These two things worked for me. Good luck.
Also, as a woman, I wouldn't consider a man's inability to come as "heavenly", like some people are suggesting. Man or woman, it feels good being able to make someone come. Struggling to achieve that would get discouraging after a while, though I think it's great this guy's girlfriend is being patient and understanding.
My opinion is my opinion, and the impression this letter left on me was that the letter writer is happy about the situation he described, so it's either a fantasy or bragging. It might also be that when i read his words carefully, there's a bizarre mix of hyperbole and equivocation that make the whole thing sound imaginary: "quite good" "absurd endurance" "typically fucking" "always quite satisfied" "a little unsatisfied" "actually blindsided" "somewhat worried" "rather new" "practice regularly, OF COURSE"
Take @10's advice and you'll be fine.
Oh, and have fun!
Anyway, to AEC's issues:
I've switched hands multiple times over the years, and even managed to make myself orgasm by rubbing only the top of the shaft, and once by shaft-only stimulation (no head contact at all). Definitely, definitely practice multiple ways. Be creative! Mix it up.. practice with a Fleshlight by yourself perhaps. Also: try some denial. Don't come for a few weeks to a month, and then see what sex with your girlfriend is like!
(if you two are a bit kinky, you can make the denial a game between the two of you, which can really heighten everything!)
I'll share this also: I've had a partner where something about our (I believe) genital difference limited my ability to come. In four years we had only one mutual orgasm, and while there may have been a psychological aspect to this, I often felt that I didn't quite get the stimulation my particular penis needed/wanted. With my current (and life!) partner, the sex is fucking amazing, we come together very often, which has surprised both of us. Again, there may be a subconscious / psychological aspect to all of this orgasming, but there may be a physical compatibility issue as well.
But its equally as likely a psychological issue. Persnickety @10 has some good advice. It's worth looking as your cultural/family background to determine if there are some sexual inhibitions/fears messing with yer sex play (although given how you describe your play now, perhaps that's not the issue), and if not that then it's a matter of retraining your cock.. which is totally possible, especially at your age.
IMPORTANT! Starting while you are 22.. start doing this exercise: when you pee (especially if you have a full bladder), stop the pee stream repeatedly. Full stop. Then start again. Then full stop... repeat. Do this often as reasonably possible. Whenever you remember to do it. This will exercise the "male kegel" muscle and assist in (a) preventing prostate problems, and (b) creating potentially mind-blowing orgasms, (c) enhancing your ability to multiple orgasm, and (d) preventing incontinence in later life. I've been doing this for nearly 20 years and I can confirm it has positive benefits.
Good luck to you!
Stuck between performance anxiety and the awesomeness of fucking forever, hey? Alas, it may not be so awesome for your partner, so added incentive for the both of you: Cut the death grip. Try laying back, half asleep in the morning and gently tease your morning wood (you or your SO). GENTLY. Better still if she's willing, while you're still drowsy and relaxed, let her hop on and take charge so that you can let go and drift. If she can incorporate her morning (kegel) exercises, w/o bruising you, more to the good. The point is to be relaxed enough to let instinct take over, not "the mad fucking machine", and to take advantage of that extra togetherness you get in the morning. Second: Forget trying to look good, and let whatever sounds your body needs to make happen. Lose the high level thinking, and go with your body's flow. In my case, immersing my face into my partner's pussy to engage my senses of taste and smell helps as well.
Lose the death grip!
but I like it
I'm sure all of those exist, but that the five-minute spacing is probably the most common. My wife, for example, needs a refractory period of a couple minutes to come again. She is too sensitive immediately after the first orgasm to get right into another one (much like the head of a man's penis is hyper-sensitive after ejaculation)...but I'm sure there are women out there who need very short pauses in intense stimulation.
Clarify, or I'll have to second snoopy @28
I have multiples more often than not, but not all in a row.
This comment isn't meant to stress you out, and if it isn't to be, it isn't to be, and it's OK if you're someone who can only come by his own touch. But you're probably not, and it's really something worth putting effort into. I knew this was the problem with that ex-boyfriend (Jesus, you should see the crazy wrist/forearm death swirl he came up with when he was 11), suggested all of the things Dan suggests for this problem, but he was too lazy to ever lay off for a couple of weeks to see if he could get used to something else. I only hope his current girlfriend was able to talk him into a masturbatory hiatus.
@33 That made me laugh too :) 11 yo for me.
Anyway, the best cure is to go without masturbating for a week or two. You have to retrain yourself, and the longer it's been since you've come, the easier it is to come, and the easier it is to retrain yourself. If you don't let yourself come any other way, it'll force you to learn from this new way.
@33, 34, 36: You guys remember starting to masturbate? I know I was masturbating at 8 but I don't remember starting. It's always seemed like I've always been doing it.
Is it really possible for any woman having an intact hymen to have a good time when it's being torn?
There's a great SciFi series written by Lois McMasters Bujold (Vorkosigan Saga), and in one of the books when a young woman is ready to be available, sexually, she makes an appointment to see a doctor to have her hymen cut (painlessly) and get a contraceptive implant. This world also uses a system of earrings, worn by all sexually active natives, to tell of their preferences. Of course, on this planet they also have genetically engineered a stable hermaphrodite gender...