Filmed yesterday at 1:23 p.m. at Seattle's Westlake Center during the 2012 May Day protests

TREELICKER: "I dunno what the fuck they're doing." [points at protesters]
BOY WITH CAMERA: "So you're NOT part of the protest at all?"
TREELICKER: "I don't fuckin' do that..." [back at tree, caressing it] "It's the way I do it man, both hands..." [boy walks away]
TREELICKER: "It's my honey locust."

The Stranger OFFICIAL HOW-TO GUIDE:
1. First things first—take your socks off.

2. Secure yourself to that (mmm-mmm!) shexy-tree.

3. Kiss, lick, and kiss it—until your face turns blue (or you get a splinter). He didn't - I asked.