Andrew Shirvell, the creepy man who lost his job in the Michigan Attorney General’s office thanks his creepy campaign of light stalking and heavy shit talk against a gay campus leader at his alma mater, has been ordered to pay that harassed gay campus leader $4.5 million.

Best sentence: “Armstrong had offered to drop the lawsuit if Shirvell apologized.”

David Schmader—former weed columnist and Stranger associate editor—is the author of the solo plays Straight and Letter to Axl, which he’s performed in Seattle and across the US. His latest...