Blogs Sep 11, 2012 at 12:18 am

Lost in the Woods: A Totally Embarrassing and Profusely Illustrated Account of How I Did Not Get Very Close to a Paul Ryan Fundraiser

Paul Constant
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Comments

1
That's cool that you don't drive. I sorta suck at driving, got two tickets in the last six months. The feel of the clutch though, I love it.
dnt trust me on September 11, 2012 at 12:42 AM Report this
2
Worthy effort.
sprflycat on September 11, 2012 at 1:48 AM Report this
3
Worthy effort indeed, and I shouldn't denigrate it with a grammar lesson, but I can't help myself. I enjoyed reading your post until the end, when I got to your statement, "Washington state is not now and will never be friendly territory for he and his party."

"For" is a preposition and requires an object. "He" is a nominative pronoun and doesn't go with "for." "Him" is is an objective pronoun.

Eyes glazing over? Remove the "and his party" and think about whether "Washington state is not friendly territory for he" is something you would write or say. I hope it's not. If you would say, "Washington is not friendly territory for him," then there's no super magical rule of grammar that suddenly requires you to change "him" to "he" because he's with anyone else.

"Washington state is not now and will never be friendly territory for him and his party."
dlauri on September 11, 2012 at 4:47 AM Report this
4
the woods. that's funny. you'd last about 2 seconds in the real "woods".

tainte on September 11, 2012 at 5:25 AM Report this
5
You should get an intern with a car. Isn't that how Lindy got her start?
care bear on September 11, 2012 at 6:13 AM Report this
6
Don't get down on yourself, man! You did your best. Unless, you didn't?
crasher on September 11, 2012 at 6:54 AM Report this
7
Very Gatsby.
TVDinner on September 11, 2012 at 7:02 AM Report this
8
Paul, I love your writing, but for god's sake get a taxi next time you need to cover a story on the east side. Trying to go to a Hunt's Point house by bus is just stupid - anyone who had ever had any dealings outside of the their Cap Hill bubble would have known that. But hey, you got a philosophical angle with some pretty words. Never mind that the protesters, who managed to get their asses to the correct location, will now get covered by a brief mention in the Seattle Times with no photos.
chanster on September 11, 2012 at 7:36 AM Report this
9
He's probably still nursing blisters from the conventions, folks. Go easy. Plus, this is good stuff.
matt on September 11, 2012 at 7:41 AM Report this
10
What a fun piece! During negotiations over the 520 rebuild configuration Hunts Pointers and Medinans were very protective of their eastbound and westbound bus stop along the freeway. Not that the residents actually use the buses, but members of their household staff do, see?
gloomy gus on September 11, 2012 at 7:55 AM Report this
11
If not zipcar or taxis, it might be time to enlist an intern with a car or a familiarity with maps.
Josh Bis on September 11, 2012 at 8:35 AM Report this
12
So the dog ate your homework?
floater on September 11, 2012 at 8:41 AM Report this
13
It seems a perfect metaphor for an individuals efforts to help work for progress in this evermore isolating and regressive society.
dbgill56 on September 11, 2012 at 9:07 AM Report this
14
For next time....

http://tripplanner.kingcounty.gov/cgi-bi…

It's a little kludgey, but it works well once you get the hang of it.
palamedes on September 11, 2012 at 9:27 AM Report this
15
This article is a thing of beauty. I especially like the way the cottonwood figured so prominently.
easternstar on September 11, 2012 at 9:50 AM Report this
16
Nice read -- got caught up in the same google jam last nite myself on a flower delivery I had in Hunt's Point. What looked reasonable on my laptop resembled a huge construction quagmire/motorcycle cop convention. Missed the protestors but, man, there's a weird thread of paranoia weaving thru that patch of land. I buzzed my delivery household from the electric gate outside (Hunts Pointers all have them) and got back this Emily Lutella-like voice, "Who is it?" "Um, flower delivery." "Ohhh? Who for?" "I don't know. Mr & Mrs S-something, I can'r read the rest." The hesitant/suspicious voice makes me feel like I'm those two guys from In Cold Blood. I wait for the voice's next move. For a moment I think about saying, "Hi, I'm Paul Ryan, I'm lost, can you direct me to my fundraiser? I'm running late and it's getting dark out." Then the voice comes back again. "Who's it from?" "I don't know. I can open the card and read it to you?" At that the gate opens. There's a sign that says "Beware of Rottweiler," but when I pull up into the roundabout a dopey young black lab gallops out of a door and over to my truck door and makes me break into a wide smile.

Nice photos & thanks for the heads-up on the park. There are some idyllic views of the lake from there and you can't beat the scent of cottonwoods this time of year.
on September 11, 2012 at 10:03 AM Report this
17
Jeez. The Stranger sprung for the funds to send you to the conventions- why not expense a taxi?

kitschnsync on September 11, 2012 at 10:07 AM Report this
18
I always enjoy a "you can't get there from here" story.
long-time reader on September 11, 2012 at 10:13 AM Report this
19
The eastbound Yarrow Point freeway stop is closed for the construction. So if you were using the old stop as a starting point -- rather than the temporary one, which is off the highway -- it's no wonder you got lost.
bigyaz on September 11, 2012 at 10:13 AM Report this
20
Fun read, indeed.

I remember a few years ago I took my dog for a late afternoon hike in a relatively small wildlife area down here in suburban Portland. Must've unknowingly veered off on some sort of a wild game trail that sort of dead-ended into some thick brush. Was getting dark by then & not wanting to backtrack, I foraged through the brush & thorn laden growth for probably 100 yards, getting torn to shreds, but aiming for the sounds of traffic. I finally found my way onto some wealthy driveway.

Tired and dehydrated, but otherwise relieved, I called out to a woman & her young child to alert them to my presence and ask for directions. Only to get screamed at for having a dog on her property.
mikethehammer on September 11, 2012 at 10:22 AM Report this
21
not that i drive or anything, but a lot of us are up for a good protest, why not carpool with some of
us ? i'm certain that some of the protesters did.
reverend dr dj riz on September 11, 2012 at 10:49 AM Report this
22
this is the best Paul Constant piece I've seen. a little bit poetic.
bluer is better on September 11, 2012 at 11:20 AM Report this
23
I drive to the Eastside one to three times a week for work and am on no set schedule when I do. you could always hit me up for a rideshare and all I ask for in return is a sandwich. if you want to give me some space on Slog every once and a while to review that sandwich, I wouldn't say no.
LEE. on September 11, 2012 at 12:49 PM Report this
24
@22 -- you obviously haven't read the spring-roll-eating contest essay.

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/consp…

You're welcome.
siduri on September 11, 2012 at 1:00 PM Report this

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