"This is what Twitter was invented for."

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RICHARD GERE, HE NEVER LEARN! #HULKFACEPALM

Hulk on March 11, 2013 at 8:21 AM

This is what you get when you say "pics or it didn't happen"

DJSauvage on March 11, 2013 at 8:28 AM

He puts a lot of effort trying to prove it was him. I think that is probably the most disturbing part. In any case, he needs to tie his dildos to a lanyard from now on.

delirian on March 11, 2013 at 8:29 AM

I would not assume he's gay. I'm sure straight guys put things up their asses.

Pope Peabrain on March 11, 2013 at 8:34 AM

@4 well, let's see, the link out leads to a page that includes this:

"heres an xray of a dildo shoved up my big gay ass"

I think it's safe to (1) assume the dude is gay; (2) assume you are someone who likes to comment without first reading the linked story.

delta35 on March 11, 2013 at 8:47 AM

If this is what I'm missing by not being on Twitter, I'm not signing up any time soon.

nocutename on March 11, 2013 at 8:50 AM

What the Pope said. Nowhere in the story does it specify that he's gay.

UNPAID COMMENTER on March 11, 2013 at 8:50 AM

Yeah, curious what makes you think he's gay, Dan. As you've consistently pointed out, straight boys love prostate stimulation, too.

fallen angel on March 11, 2013 at 8:51 AM

@5 Aaaand I apparently missed that too. yeesh.

UNPAID COMMENTER on March 11, 2013 at 8:52 AM

My bad. Posted before seeing the other comments, and even though I clicked on the link, I somehow missed that part.

fallen angel on March 11, 2013 at 8:52 AM

I was so hoping you'd cover this, Dan. Serious object lesson: objects which go in butts must have flared bases.

@2: he does provide X-rays and a photo of the CD of said X-ray photos (the hospital is actually right near me).

@4: He repeatedly refers to his own "big gay ass," so I'd take him at his word.

Action Kate on March 11, 2013 at 8:53 AM

@3 yes he does go out of his way to prove it's him, but he identifies in one of his Tweets as an 18 year old.

In a post-Warhol age of celebrity chasing and reality TV, this is his first chance at 15min. Give the kid a break, I don't think it's a personality disorder any more to be a narcissist, it's the new normal.

delta35 on March 11, 2013 at 8:54 AM

So...

So far, no one has asked the really important question: Which brand of batteries?

Brooklyn Reader on March 11, 2013 at 9:09 AM

Remember the rerun SLLOTD from a week or two ago, when Dan gave the go-ahead for someone to put tampons up his butt? Yeah, that's where my mind went when I saw his admonition about flared bases. (That, and the one commenter who said there was nothing wrong with that, even though he never put tampons up his butt ever.)

Matt from Denver on March 11, 2013 at 9:14 AM

I think of at least half a dozen other ways to put it than that.

K on March 11, 2013 at 9:17 AM

Too bad he doesn't follow Dan's columns. If he did, first off, he would know to use a flared base dildo. Second, recently Dan forwarded instructions from a medical person, explaining exactly how to self extract in this exact situation.

SeattleKim on March 11, 2013 at 9:17 AM

BAHAHAHAHAHA this has just made my day. Serious kudos to this dude for having a sense of humor about what could have been a scary and embarrassing experience. When shit like this happens, you just have to own it. Well played.

daftgiraffe on March 11, 2013 at 9:17 AM

@6. Agreed. Maybe it's because I'm close to 50 years old but twitter just seems stupid.

SoapMacTavish on March 11, 2013 at 9:18 AM

Just because his ass is gay doesn't mean the rest of him is. That's ass discrimination!!!

Pope Peabrain on March 11, 2013 at 9:23 AM

@13

The tweeter suggests that they're Energizers, though he could just be calling them that for effect.

seatackled on March 11, 2013 at 10:39 AM

And now a million ass-players-withers will never make that mistake.

He should next try using a cock ring that doesn't have a release. He can tweet a picture of the saw next to his dick.

six shooter on March 11, 2013 at 10:40 AM

tainte on March 11, 2013 at 11:11 AM

tainte on March 11, 2013 at 11:12 AM

COMBO BREAKER

venomlash on March 11, 2013 at 12:40 PM

Typical Persona 3-4 fans

Mudkips on March 11, 2013 at 12:57 PM

Well, straight men have been known to dabble with the rear and - like some women and gay men - be rather reckless about it. (At least a dildo was meant to be inserted somewhere.) The object lesson here is solid, but shopping for adequate sex toys can be embarrassing for some folks, specially straight guys looking for dildoes.

(And yes, I know this particular guy is gay.)

floater on March 11, 2013 at 2:40 PM

My sister is an ER nurse and she removed a beer bootle from one guy's ass and a carrot from another guy's. The guy with the carrot came into the hospital with his two brothers and a sister and they all laughed their asses off over the thing.

milemarker on March 12, 2013 at 12:23 AM

So just to be clear, do we know that he's actually gay? :)

smajor82 on March 12, 2013 at 7:24 AM

Man, I could so go for a bootle of beer right now.

Ophian on March 12, 2013 at 1:24 PM

Oh, but probably not that one.

Ophian on March 12, 2013 at 1:24 PM

this man broke the internet. the page will not load, which actually now that i think of it is probably for the best.

happyhedonist on March 14, 2013 at 10:00 PM

"This is what Twitter was invented for."

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